Cultivating with Our Children
I have two children. My oldest is my son, Yingzuo, is in the sixth grade. My daughter, Weiting, is in the third grade.
When I first began to practice Falun Dafa, Weiting was in kindergarten and had just learned phonetic notations for Chinese characters. Every day, I helped her to read Zhuan Falun with phonetic notations. A year later, she was able to read all of Master's lectures by herself.
During a school break, I took Yingzuo and Weiting to the Cihu tourist site to tell others about Falun Dafa. A fellow practitioner suggested that they join the online calling platform run by young disciples so that they could do the three things during school days too.
Weiting is a very bright and active girl. She became comfortable with the platform quickly, so I let her do it alone. A short time later I noticed the computer was not working well. I looked inward, but could not find the cause of the problem. So I went to talk to Weiting.
I asked Weiting what she had been doing on the computer. I reminded her that she should tell the truth since practitioners cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. She admitted that she had been playing games on the computer. I shared with her that the computer was our tool, one that can have problems if we do not cultivate well.
Yingzuo is a calm boy, he too did very well on the platform. He did not like the dark room where the computer was, so asked if he could use the one his sister was using in another room. I realized he was afraid of the dark. Then I discovered he had been reading detective novels, which I think is why he had developed a fear of the dark. I asked him to stop reading those novels.
My name is Weiting. When I started to use the truth-clarification platform, I did well and concentrated on the project. But as I learned more about computers, I got attracted to the computer games. I also started to play games during platform breaks. Soon my mother discovered it and advised me to stop, so I stopped playing the computer games.
Yet one day, when my mother left the house to pick up my brother, I could not resist playing a game. Afterward, in my third eye, I saw a divine being battling a demon in order to prevent the demon from disturbing me. When I saw this, I told myself I would never play computer games again.
Another shortcoming I have is that I often argue with my brother. I know it is not right, but sometimes I have no control. Then it’s happened that when I fight with my brother, I see demons cheering aloud. I now try harder to be patient with my brother.
My name is Yingzuo. I have been on the platform for about six months.
When I first joined the project, I was in high spirits. Every day we studied the Fa and made phone calls to help people understand the truth about Falun Dafa. I felt my cultivation improved quickly.
After I was familiar with the platform, I began to slack off. Sometimes I was sleepy during Fa study and frequently read the words wrong. As a result, the quality of my phone calls dropped.
"… you cannot do it in this thing, because the words you say have no energy and are not aligned with the Fa. You want to save him, but the words you say cannot eliminate his karma and remove his attachments; how can you save him?!" ("Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference")
I knew I should correct myself, and Master often gave me hints. For example, when my cultivation status was good, the lamp I used for the platform group Fa study would be on; otherwise, it would not work.
Recently the lamp stopped working. I tried to look within, but could not find my problem. My fellow practitioners helped me. I realized I had fear, and that I was afraid of the dark. I was also afraid of staying by myself in the second floor room where I used the computer for the platform. I think this was a test to see how firm I believed in Dafa and Master.
I also found that during Fa study, sometimes I had bad thoughts, which made it difficult for me to concentrate on studying. Sometimes I thought I heard voices and turned to look, but saw nothing.
It was just like Master said:
"… any desire you have can become an attachment and can be used by the evil. As soon as that kind of thought emerges, the evil might conjure a false image for you, and this will then cause interference." ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference", Guiding the Voyage)
During the past six months since Weiting and Yingzuo joined the platform, I have witnessed their ups and downs in their cultivation. I remind them every day to study the Fa, not as a formality, but to study with all their heart. I remind them not to think they have done the three things well just because they are on the platform. If they do not study the Fa and send righteous thoughts well, the power of their work will be affected.
Meanwhile, their cultivation states are a mirror for me. I learned to look inward when I see them doing something wrong. For example, when they fought, at the beginning I simply thought it was a test for their xinxing. One day, I suddenly realized their fighting looked familiar. It was then I knew it was like when my husband and I fight. I was stunned!
Because of my husband's job, he is seldom home. My children and I have a simple routine. Every evening they are on the platform, and during vacation the three of us go to the Cihu tourist site to clarify the truth. At home we divide up the housework. Yingzuo and Weiting help with the chores such as cleaning the floor, taking out the garbage, and folding the laundry.
As for their school work, Yingzuo has always been a top student. He knows his goals and works hard. I only need to remind him not to pay too much attention to fame and recognition.
Weiting is another story. When Weiting entered third grade, her school added a new course—Nature and Society. Two weeks before her first exam, my husband called several times to remind me to be sure Weiting was studying. So I kept after her, especially the week before the exam. When I heard she only got 86% on the exam, I was upset and blamed her, making her cry.
In the evening I looked inward and wondered if Weiting's score was a hint of my own attachment. Maybe I should learn to accept the fact that Weiting does not have to be the same as Yingzuo. The entire evening I thought about this.
I asked myself why Weiting's score was so important to me. I discovered my human attachment of wanting my relatives and friends to all think that learning Dafa would make my children smart. This was the mentality of showing off.
"Mom, do you know why I did not do better on my Nature test?" Weiting asked me later. "When I struggled during the test, I could not concentrate on solving the problems; all I could think about was how my mother would react if I did poorly.”
I then let go of my attachment to Weiting's scores. For her next test, I did not pressure her with studying, and she actually scored highest in her class.
Weiting often helps me in my cultivation. When I do not behave in accordance with the Fa, she points it out. For example, when I argued with my husband, she sat nearby watching us quietly. When the argument was over, she said to me, "Mom, you argued with Dad again. You did not do well with forbearance. Your xinxing dropped.”
In fact, I am very grateful that Weiting has provided me with many cultivation opportunities. I used to get complaints about her from school in the past. Since she joined the platform I have not received a single complaint. The project has provided Yingzuo and Weiting a great environment for Fa study and cultivation. I’ve also suggested that they read the sharing articles on Minghui.
Master told us that "looking within is a magical tool." ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference")
Seeing Other People's Good Sides
While writing this article, I twice shared with some of my fellow practitioners about it. Every time, they reminded me that I should write more about my children's strengths.
I came to realize that I too often look at their weaknesses. When their actions are not up to my standard, I quickly correct them. Now I know that for too long I have been adding negative thoughts to them.
Yingzuo recently said, "Mom, you always tell me that I am not attentively studying the Fa, but you don't seem to notice that often I do study with full attention.”
I came to realize that I am still using the ordinary people's traditional methods to educate my children. It is something I need to correct.
It’s just like Master taught us:
"So a cultivator needs to let go of all the notions and principles of everyday people, and only then can he cultivate to a high level and break out of the Three Realms, the reverse of the cosmos. " ("Dafa Is All-Encompassing", Essentials for Further Advancement II)