Raising a Teenager Is Easy with the Guidance of Falun Dafa
(Minghui.org) My 14-year-old daughter has been practicing Falun Dafa for more than a year. During that time she has been able to overcome many typical teenage problems, and she is now a healthy and happy girl. She has a good personality, rarely gets angry even when she is wronged, helps me to do housework on the weekends and holidays, and is the best student in her class.
Just two years ago, she was totally different. She had a lot of difficulty with her schoolwork. She often had to stay up until 2 a.m. or later to finish her homework. Because she was so tired, she had to sleep more on the weekends, and she stayed in bed whenever she could. I even had problems getting her out of bed to eat, much less helping out with chores. She left a mess everywhere she went. She was also a picky eater. Other than potatoes and cauliflower, she did not eat any vegetables, and she rarely finished her meals.
What troubled me the most was her temper. She was introverted, but very stubborn. It was very difficult to communicate with her. Whenever someone wrongly accused her of anything, she would cry for a long time. She would suddenly get angry in the middle of a normal conversation and refuse to tell us why. She would lie to us to cover up her mistakes or to get what she wanted.
When we started to practice Falun Dafa last summer, what Master said about educating our children enlightened me. By looking inward and improving myself, my daughter improved along with me.
“Some people blow up even when they’re disciplining their kids, they’ll yell and make a big scene. You don’t have to be like that when you’re disciplining your kids. You shouldn’t really get angry. You should teach your kids with reason and good sense, and that’s the only way you can really teach them well.” (Zhuan Falun)
I realized that I needed to be tolerant, considerate, and diligent.
First, I needed to control my own temper. One day, my daughter closed the glass door of our kitchen as I was about to walk through it with a pot of water. I hit the door, and hot water splashed all over me.
I started to yell at her but stopped, because I realized that as a cultivator, I should not get angry. I apologized to her: “It was my fault because I was not able to control my temper and therefore did not meet the standard of a cultivator.”
The other day, she cried when she felt she had been wronged. I calmly told her, “Do not worry about being wronged. It happens all the time. Maybe it is time for you to improve your tolerance.” She stopped crying and listened carefully.
From then on, she was able to control her temper better and better. One time her grandma criticized her, but she did not get angry. After that, no matter how hard I was on her, she never got angry over it again.
With a calm mind and good communication, I figured out why it took my daughter so long to do her homework.
One day, she suddenly got upset when she was doing her homework and refused to tell me why. I did not fuss at her, and after a while, she cried and said, “There’s too much homework.”
I suddenly realized that in the past, I’d always asked her to finish her homework quickly, but I didn’t know that she actually needed help. From then on, I was no longer attached to how fast she could finish. Instead, I spent more time helping her to understand the problems. It really helped her performance at school.
On our way home one day, we had to take a detour because of road construction. When my daughter complained about it, I said, “Those construction workers work hard to benefit society. They also have to support their own families. You can’t just think about your own convenience, you should think of others.”
My daughter later said several times, “I have been so selfish!” I encouraged her, saying, “Very few people can realize it when they are being selfish. You are already more attuned than the average person by facing it.” She was happy to hear it.
After that, she became very considerate. No matter how unpleasant things got, she no longer complained. Instead, she dealt with them with a positive attitude.
By searching inward, I found out why my daughter was lazy. Subconsciously, I did not want her to endure hardship. I wanted her to be comfortable. In order to raise her responsibly, I had to stop spoiling her.
I set strict standards for her on what she needed to do and what she couldn't do. Through the study of Falun Dafa, my daughter also realized that one shouldn't be lazy. She wrote the phrase “Get Rid of Attachments” on a piece of paper on her wall to remind herself to get up on time every day. Other than when she slept, she no longer stayed in bed. She was also willing to do chores that I assigned her.
One morning, she accidentally knocked over a glass of honey water when she was in a hurry to leave for school. I thought that I would have to clean it up after she left. But, she quickly and thoroughly cleaned up the table and the floor before she left. That would have been unbelievable in the past.
She no longer lies to get what she wants. She is not a picky eater anymore and rarely leaves any food on her plate. She used to be very attached to a fur vest, which she carried around all the time, as if it gave her moral support. She was able to let it go after we started to practice Falun Dafa last summer. It was amazing that the practice helped her to get rid of that long-term attachment within a matter of days.
She has a cell phone, but she only uses it to check school homework. She does not play games, chat online, or read novels on her cell phone. Last semester, she got the highest score in her class on the final exam.
Maybe new problems will emerge in the future, but I am no longer worried about my daughter’s education. With the guidance of Falun Dafa, our future is bright!