Why I Failed to Cultivate True Compassion
(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa since 2012. However, I haven't been very compassionate when I had conflicts with others. Thinking back, I realize I probably have never completely met Dafa's requirements when I had conflicts in the past. Even though I seemed to have passed some tests, it was actually because these incidents didn't touch my attachments.
I know I can't simply blame my bad temper and insufficient tolerance. I searched in my heart pretty hard and found many attachments, including jealousy, a competitive mentality, showing off, validating myself, etc. However, the next time a disagreement happened, I still failed to behave compassionately under the excuse of safeguarding the Fa and being responsible to the whole body.
Sometime I felt I had followed Truthfulness and did my best with Tolerance. Even though I didn't appear to be wrong, I soon realized I had failed to follow Compassion. It had been troubling me for a long time.
I gained some deeper understandings of the Fa recently. Why must Dafa disciples cultivate Compassion? It's because Compassion is the fundamental character of all beings that Dafa has created. It's the Compassion of beings at different levels that makes them be able to communicate and perfect each other. However, after degeneration, beings formed various mentalities, attachments, and karma, which are wicked in nature. The wickedness, in turn, makes them reject, fight and hurt each other.
When one follows Compassion, it's a reflection of that being's state. When one's behavior is wicked, it triggers wickedness. As cultivators, it's my understanding that we should only use Compassion to solve our problems. To be able to do this, we have to first eliminate the degenerated substances blocking our Compassion from coming out. As a matter of fact, if one could behave compassionately when facing conflicts, one must have also assimilated to Truthfulness and Tolerance at that corresponding level. In other words, a practitioner's body and mind must have been purified to this level.
I understand now why I have failed to manifest Compassion. It's because my heart wasn't pure enough. I never manifested Compassion, Truthfulness, or Tolerance.
A pure mind and body is the result of unconditionally looking inward and solidly cultivating oneself. We cultivators know that looking inward is our magical key to all problems we run into during our cultivation. The process of looking inward is a process of eliminating karma. It can be excruciating, but looking inward will eventually become a habit and no longer difficult and passive; it will become natural.
As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I feel that the meaning of my life lies in my validation of Dafa during the Fa-rectification period. The power that can lift someone to the everlasting new cosmos relies on unconditionally looking inward, solid cultivation, gaining a clear understanding of Dafa's principles, and assimilating to the Fa.
Now I realize how valuable it is to look inward. How can I not let Master down? What does it mean to truly respect Master and Dafa? I'm determined to treasure every test in my cultivation, seize every opportunity to improve myself, and eliminate my attachments and human notions. In other words, it's only when I can truly look inward unconditionally that I can better validate Dafa and fulfill my mission.
The above is my limited understanding. Please feel free to point out anything inappropriate.