I Discovered What Was Blocking Me from Elevating
(Minghui.org) One morning, I again overheard my husband reprimanding his father about having extramarital liaisons.
I couldn’t control myself. I thought, “As a practitioner, I have the responsibility to speak up against this type of immoral behavior.”
So, I added fuel to the fire by joining in the tirade.
I said, “We work hard to earn money and you spend it recklessly on some women. You don’t have any retirement income but you use our money to do bad things…”
As I spoke, I got more and more upset.
Over the years. I had talked to my father-in-law with the best of intentions and had told him how his behavior was hurtful to the family and harmful to himself, and would in time also bring him retribution.
Nothing changed. On the contrary, my father-in-law’s immoral behavior seemed to intensify.
Still, I knew in my heart that I didn’t handle this well as a Dafa disciple should. I’ve failed once again to pass this xinxing test. I was chagrined at myself.
Conseqently, I had an honest exchange with a practitioner in the hopes to understand where I had gone wrong, and what I could do to make things better.
The practitioner said, “There is this attachment to lust in your energy field. The whole thing is really a reflection of your own problem.”
I remembered the practitioner had brought that to my attention several times before, but I had paid her no mind since I didn’t believe that I had the problem.
This time, I finally realized the seriousness of the matter. I realized it was Master speaking to me through this practitioner. I realized the problem arose because I hadn’t truly cultivated diligently enough.
The practitioner continued to say, “In fact, lust is not just something between men and women. Attachments to greed and to sleep, succumbing to the desires to buy nice clothes and to have beautiful things… All these are also manifestations of lust.”
I finally understood. Those attachments the practitioner named were indeed quite prevalent and persistent in my past state of cultivation.
“Everything within the field of your dimension is dictated by the thoughts in your brain.” (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun)
No wonder I constantly felt my complexion was cloudy and gray. No wonder I constantly felt drowsy whenever I did my meditation exercise or studied the Fa, and constantly felt I wasn’t cultivating well even though I always tried to do the three things conscientiously.
My attachments and shortcomings were in turn spread to people around me in my energy field. No wonder my family members all have attachments to lust, to food, to ordinary people’s entertainment…
Cultivation practice is truly extremely serious. No attachment will be overlooked. I realized that the several times I was abducted and persecuted were all due to my negligence in overcoming my various attachments, allowing the evil forces to take advantage of my loopholes.
“Dafa disciples: I said long ago that sexual attraction and desire are a fatal roadblock that a cultivator absolutely must overcome.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference”)
All along, I had been complacent, believing my heart hadn’t been tempted by lust.
I now realize that was because I practice Falun Dafa, so Dafa has provided me with certain restraints, but that doesn’t mean my attachment to lust did not exist.
“Desires, lust, and things of these sorts are all human attachments, and all of them should be given up.” (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun)
The fellow practitioner advised me to study and think about this principle of Master's Fa over and again.
So I did. Several dozens of times. I also sent righteous thoughts, for myself and for my family members who have been adversely affected.
It’s been a week since I wrote this article. In these past seven days, besides sending righteous thoughts, I also strengthened my resolve to cultivate diligently and made absolutely sure that if and when any of my attachments reared its ugly head, I would destroy it promptly.
My body underwent some dramatic changes. I stopped experiencing drowsiness during meditation. My practitioner mother remarked that my face looked better and my skin was softer.
My stomach sickness karma that had been bothering me for years had also basically disappeared. I no longer suffered from constant diaarhea and having no sensation of being hungry.
I know the spirits controlling these parts of my body have been eliminated. When I comply with the Fa, my body gets rectified by the Fa. This is the magic of Dafa! This is Master’s magnanimity!
The purpose of my writing this article is so that fellow practitioners with similar attachments will take note. The evil forces are always watching very keenly our attachments to lust. As soon as there is a chance, their tentacles will reach out to drag us down and even have us persecuted.
We have to deny them and rid ourselves of these and other attachments. Then, we will cultivate better and will advance and do the three things more smoothly and fulfill our prehistoric vows. In this way, we will not waste our trip here on earth.
I bow and pay my deepest respect to Master!
I also want to thank my fellow practitioner!