(Minghui.org) I used to practice Falun Dafa alongside my parents when I was young. I talked to people about cultivation and participated in Fa- rectification activities.
However, I started to slack off in my cultivation when my schoolwork increased. Then, when I started a career, I was influenced by everyday society and more interested in fame, a life of luxury, and material wealth.
I eventually saw the error of my ways and returned to Dafa.
Since there are other youngsters who have stopped practicing, I would like to ask practitioners to seek them out and help them return to Dafa.
Cultivating During My Formative Years
My parents obtained the Fa in 1998. Because of Dafa, my father's malignant brain tumor disappeared and our lives were happy.
I never sought medical treatment as a young practitioner. When I came down with the mumps, I soon recovered after my mother read the first chapter of Zhuan Falun to me.
When I stayed at my grandparent’s, I came down with a high fever. Despite many quilts and blankets, I shivered with cold and threw up all the medicine my grandfather gave me. My mother took me home and I soon recovered after doing the Falun Dafa exercises.
I followed the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and was kind and considerate of others. School was not difficult for me and I scored high in all my exams.
I memorized passages from Hong Yin on my way to and from elementary school.
In high school, I helped my mother distribute informational materials about Falun Dafa and openly told my teachers and classmates about the Self-Immolation Hoax on Tiananmen Square, which was fabricated by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to defame Falun Dafa.
In my third year of high school, my language teacher told the class things that weren't true about Dafa. My essay on the subject was given a zero, because it didn't meet the officially sanctioned CCP's criteria. After much criticism, I was told to read my essay to the whole class. When I had finished, my classmates broke into applause and our class leader wrote me an apology on the board.
My mother was detained by the authorities for practicing Falun Dafa for the first time when I was 10. When my father took me to the detention center to visit her, I pointed to the eight regulations on the wall and accused the female officer of detaining my mother illegally. I demanded her release, or I would sue them. My mother was released soon after.
Too Engrossed in the Mundane World
Master said,
“But in order to achieve everything they’ve wanted to, the old, evil forces in the cosmos have directly taken part in persecuting Dafa, Dafa disciples, and sentient beings by continuously using the evil arrangements that they contrived and that don’t conform to the true Fa-principles of the cosmos, and they have taken advantage of the unremoved notions that are at Dafa disciples’ human surface, and Dafa disciples’ karma, to make their righteous thoughts falter.” (“Dafa is Indestructible” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I was given a lot of schoolwork when I was put on an accelerated academic program. I found that I no longer had time to study the Fa, and over time I sank to the level of an ordinary person.
This situation was further exacerbated by my mother’s arrest and her being detained for 40 days in a brainwashing center when I was 15.
My college entrance exam application was rejected and my mother was fired from her job. My father had brain surgery, which left him with the mental capacity of a small child.
These incidents broke my heart. My father, a just government official, was dismissed from his position and my mother, a wonderful teacher, was imprisoned for her belief. Relatives and friends began to shun us, and I was viewed as “odd.” Ridiculed by my teachers and colleagues alike, I was unable to understand why good people are punished, and I began to believe that being a good person was wrong.
When my mother was held at the provincial brainwashing center, I made friends with some thugs in the hope that they could “pull some strings” to get my mother released. I smoked, drank, and frequented bars and other entertainment places. Those were dark days, and I lost my moral compass. My new habits further alienated me from my family and old friends. I relied on alcohol to numb my pain.
After I began to work, I was lured by the temptation of wealth and material gains. In order to get what I wanted, I used any means necessary. My health deteriorated, and most of my earnings were spent on hospital bills.
Returning to Cultivation
My lifestyle resulted in numerous health problems, including allergic reactions, respiratory infection, frequent pains in my joints, and insomnia. I was also plagued by nightmares when I tried to sleep.
My condition worsened in the summer of 2015, and after a month without sleep, I mentally collapsed. Forced to temporarily abandon my job, I headed home to recuperate.
Back home, I saw that my mother and her fellow practitioners were healthy and did all that practitioners are supposed to do. I was moved by their kindness, consideration, and self-discipline and realized that this was how I wished to live.
I was able to fall into deep sleep when I listened to the Dafa music Pudu and Jishi. Master repeatedly pointed out my mistakes in my dreams.
For example, I dreamed that I was in danger and nobody was able to save me. In desperation I shouted, “Falun Dafa is good,” and the danger immediately disappeared. I told my mother about my dream the next day, and she thanked Master for not giving up on me. With this, I returned to cultivation.
Tribulations Test My Conviction
When I started to study the Fa again, I itched so bad that I broke out in tears. I could only sleep for about an hour that night, and I almost gave up this cultivation practice.
A fellow practitioner said, “This is a good thing. It shows that Master is taking care of you. Think about it. You have accumulated a lot karma through your past lives. How can you recover and not suffer?”
My mind was clear enough to study the Fa and do the sitting meditation on the third day. Many practitioners studied the Fa with me, did the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts.
I suffered from inflamed skin for several days, smelly odors emitted from my ulcers, and I had an unbearable itch. However, I refused to to give up cultivation. I cried and begged Master for help.
A practitioner told me that if I gave up my attachments, Master could help me. Other practitioners me tried to help me in one way or another.
“No matter how unbearable you find your suffering,” my mother said, “remember Master has already removed a large portion of karma for you, leaving this small portion for you to repay and test your conviction.”
I knew that, no matter how uncomfortable I felt, I should still thank Master for his compassion.
More and more of my illness symptoms began to disappear, but the itchy skin remained and still bothers me today.
Master said,
“During the course of cultivation, however, through reading the books, studying the Fa, and diligently making progress, you should clearly recognize what your thoughts were when you first came to Dafa. After cultivating for a period of time, are your thoughts still the same? Are you continuing on the path because of those human attachments? If so, you cannot be counted as my disciple. It means that you haven’t gotten rid of your fundamental attachments and that you are unable to understand the Fa from the Fa. ” (“Towards Consummation” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
The old forces still frantically create tribulations for me, and I know that any efforts to hide my human attachments will only serve to protect the old forces.
My determination to overcome this tribulation and return to cultivation led me to write this article and come clean with my mistakes.
I have chosen to steadfastly cultivate in Dafa, and leave my fate to Master.
