Taking Care of My Paralyzed Mother

(Minghui.org) I took care of my paralyzed mother for six years. It wasn’t easy. It was only after several trials and tribulations that I realized that everything was not only an opportunity for me to rid myself of different attachments but also an opportunity for me to raise my xinxing.

Taking Over Mother’s Care

In late May 2006, I was illegally arrested and taken to the local detention center, then to the Baima Forced Labor Camp.

When I was released, I was fired from my job, so I opened a clothing store.

In time, my store became an avenue through which I could clarify the truth to my customers and help them quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. Eventually, it was also where I produced Dafa truth-clarification materials.

In November 2008, mother broke her arm and was admitted to the county hospital. It is difficult to treat and rehabilitate a broken humerus in elderly patients.

Mother also suffered from a slight case of senile dementia and did not cooperate well with her hospital treatment.

She then developed bedsores and blisters on her back and buttocks, creating great discomfort for herself and worries for the whole family.

Father was left in charge of mother’s care in the hospital since the rest of us worked.

It was a thankless task for an old man.

Looking after Mother day in and day out and watching her medical bills mount up started to distress him.

His anxiety grew so bad that he became ill himself and was admitted to the same hospital.

Unfortunately, because of complications, Father took a turn for the worse. By the time my sisters, brother, husband, and I arrived at the hospital, Father was already beyond help.

The blow was sudden, unexpected, and devastating. With Mother paralyzed in bed, Father’s death left the family in a quandary. Who could take over Mother’s care when she was getting worse every day and when the hospital had declared her condition critical?

I decided I should step up and take on the responsibility of looking after her. It was what a Dafa cultivator should do. That would also be clarifying the truth and validating the Fa.

I made an announcement to my family, “I’ll take Mother home and take care of her.”

My younger sister burst out, “The doctor said her condition is life-threatening and she has only 2 weeks to live. How can you have her discharged from the hospital?”

My immediate reaction was to fight with fire. My younger sister works in the government and her mind has been deeply poisoned by the evil Party. She has also always been bossy and impatient.

But I am a cultivator and must practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

I replied calmly, “Taking care of Mother at my house is more convenient than taking care of her in the hospital. Mother has bedsores and needs constant attention. You are all busy with jobs and families. I can spend more time with her at home. You can all visit whenever you have time.”

My sister reluctantly agreed, but warned me, “You can take Mother home for the New Year holidays. After that, you should take her back to the hospital. If anything happens to her, you’re responsible.”

I took Mother home. Every day, I played Dafa music for her and had her recite "Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!"

Two weeks later, her condition was no longer life-threatening. Due to my attentive care, her abscesses slowly improved.

My younger sister stopped complaining and did not mention taking Mother back to the hospital.

My older sister came over to assist, but she had to watch her one-year-old grandchild. She had to change diapers and feed and bathe the toddler, so she really couldn’t help out much.

Taking care of someone who is paralyzed is very arduous and time consuming, so it wasn’t until 9 or 10 a.m. before I could open up my clothing store for business.

Nevertheless, I did the three things required of Dafa disciples without fail. I sized every free moment to study the Fa. I made sure I never missed the designated hours to send forth righteous thoughts. I clarified the truth to customers and helped them to withdraw from the Party and all its affiliates.

Neighbors who came to the store never interrupted me when they saw me sitting in meditation. They all knew the truth and had renounced the Party.

Everybody in town knows I am a Falun Gong practitioner. Whenever the mayor got wind of another wave of persecution, he would notify my younger sister to tell me to be careful.

It was just as Master says, “So long as you, a Dafa disciple, do things righteously, you will transform the environment around you, and you will change people.” ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco," 2005)

Settling in a New Environment

In 2012, I closed my store, left my hometown with my mother and my daughter, and settled in the city.

At first, I had very little contact with other practitioners, so I decided to rely on myself to spread the goodness of Dafa in this new place.

I started shopping for supplies, searching the Internet, downloading relevant information, making my own Dafa materials, and distributing them from one district to the next.

There are generally about two to four dozen buildings in each district. I went to each building, one after the other, methodically, and making careful notes to be sure I wouldn’t miss any building by accident or mistake.

When I began to get to know more fellow practitioners and realized they had not been doing enough to spread the Fa because they lacked materials, I supplied them with whatever brochures they needed and got them involved in what I was doing.

Nevertheless, taking care of Mother’s every physical need was more than cumbersome. Every day, day after day after day, I looked at her lying helpless in bed, and at all the chores I had to attend to. I began to feel very tired and even annoyed. When those feelings popped up, I got more tired and more annoyed. Bitterness settled in.

Before long, I was constantly berating my daughter and arguing with her. My daughter, in turn, became furious and began to use unpleasant and hurtful words to answer me back.

One time, my daughter jeered at me, “You go about doing your three things, but look at the way you practice, the way you cultivate your speech, the way you cultivate your xinxing! ”

Shortly after that, for no reason at all, I suddenly developed a terrible toothache. Every tooth hurt. The entire left side of my jaw was swollen. The excruciating pain lasted for two days. It was so bad I couldn’t even drink water.

I looked inward. I was horrified at my behavior toward my daughter. Why was I so hard on her?

My daughter is a good and sensible child. In 2000 when I wanted to go to Beijing to petition, she supported me. In 2001, I was in the detention center being persecuted. She came to to visit me. She cried and whispered in my ear, “Mother, I support you.” From 2002 until now, she regularly helps me to save people.

It was my own attachments and my deep love for my daughter that brought about the bad things. My toothache was a great reminder that I must correct myself before I could correct anything and everything around me.

I immediately apologized to my daughter, “I’m sorry. I’ve been picking fights with you the last few days. I was yelling at you. I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

My daughter said to me, “Mother, I was wrong, too. I'm sorry.”

All Thanks to You

From then on, I bear in mind Master's words: "...cultivate yourself solidly.” (“Towards Consummation” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)

I never neglect any of the three things Master asks of each practitioner. I know saving sentient beings is of utmost importance in my cultivation path, but I always remember to put Fa study as top priority. I always find time to study the Fa.

I took care of Mother for six years. Although she didn’t and couldn’t talk much because of her dementia, she would still answer a question or two every time I attempted to have a conversation with her.

When I talked to her about renouncing the evil Party back in 2005, she insisted on using her real name to withdraw from the CCP and all its affiliates.

Mother was aware that her daughter practices Falun Dafa. She knew I took meticulous care of her. She was always clean. She did not have an sores on her at all. She could eat and sleep. She always had a contented smile on her face.

On July 12, 2014, at the age of 83, Mother passed away peacefully.

Having been witness to Mother’s serene departure, relatives and friends who came to offer condolences all said to me, “You demonstrated great filial piety. All thanks to you, your mother didn’t suffer at all in the last years of her life.”

An aunt remarked, “You used to complain about the dirt in our village. You used to be such a neat freak. Look at you! For six years you’ve cleaned up after your mother. Falun Gong can really change a person!”

That aunt is a very stubborn woman. She had rejected my truth clarification time and again in the past, but she finally came around to looking at Falun Gong favorably.

Now, she and her whole family have all withdrawn from the CCP and its affiliates.

So did other family members, relatives, and friends. So did many in my hometown.

In fact, even the very obstinate and negative ones are now becoming receptive to listening to me clarify the truth.

My gratitude goes to our great compassionate Master!

Heshi to my fellow practitioners!