(Minghui.org) After starting to practice Falun Gong in 2012, I have gained a deeper understanding of compassion and would like to share my experiences with fellow practitioners.
I am a college instructor. Parents of high school students sometimes consult with me on college admission examination issues, and I have been using this opportunity to expose the persecution and tell them about Falun Gong.
Initially, I was timid and afraid of getting reported on. Once the attachment of fear emerged, I thought of Master's words in “The Fa Rectifies the Cosmos” in Hong Yin II:
“Compassion can harmonize Heaven and Earth, ushering in springRighteous thoughts can save the people in this world”
I realized that compassion is the key to overcoming fear. I studied and memorized the Fa, and sent forth righteous thoughts. I paid attention to my demeanor when talking with the parents and tried to be as considerate as possible.
Parents arrived at my seminars intending to learn about the admissions process, but many of them left with much more. I distributed over 200 Shen Yun Performing Arts DVDs over the course of one summer. Additionally, I was the catalyst for scores of people quitting Chinese Communist Party (CCP) organizations. Two people ultimately became Falun Dafa practitioners.
I got calls from many people that I had helped. They would greet me warmly with the aliases that they used to quit the CCP, and tell me about how they still recited the words “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!”
I often say to Master in my heart, “Master, it is your compassion that helped people gain salvation and offered me an opportunity to validate the Fa.” Compassionate energy would come forth from my heart and envelop my entire body whenever I thought of this.
Cultivating Through Family Tribulations
I was known for avoiding monotonous tasks, and housework in particular. After I began cultivation, I recognized this as an attachment and made sure to do my best for my family. However, cultivation is no easy task, and I soon ran into a tremendous tribulation.
My husband got a phone call after dinner from a woman. She invited him for a walk, and it was obvious that they had an unusual relationship.
I told myself, “I'm a cultivator. I need to forbear.” I said to my husband gently, “Virtue is very important.” He replied, “I am not afraid. Everyone is like this nowadays.”
I continued, “If you don't mind yourself, think about her family. Aren't you ruining her family? How can you have the heart to do this?” He didn't say anything and left.
I suppressed the urge to look out the window to spot the woman, “I'm a Dafa disciple. I should handle everything with dignity. I also need to achieve real forbearance with inner peace.” I went back to my room to study the Fa.
Another time, my husband came home drunk after 10 p.m. He demanded, “Don't practice [Falun Dafa] anymore! If you continue, I will choke you to death!” He stomped towards me, reaching for my neck.
This caught me off guard, and I couldn't get out of the way. When I realized that he was really choking me, I didn't move. I thought, “Cultivators shouldn't fight back.” I wasn't afraid.
As it got hard for me to breathe, I felt a force separating his hands from my neck. He released me soon afterwards. I looked him in the eyes peacefully but firmly. He said that my eyes scared him.
At that point, he appeared to have lost his mind. He came right up to me again and said, “I will beat you to death! Don't go to work tomorrow!” He slapped me three times with all his might. I didn't move or cry, and remained calm. I knew that Master had endured the three slaps for me because I didn't feel much pain.
I thought, “Master! It's my karma, yet you have suffered for me.”
When my husband didn't see a reaction from me, he grabbed a knife from the kitchen and said, “Don't you believe me? I can kill you right now.”
I responded calmly, “Don't do anything crazy.” He hit the edge of bed with the knife and called my father, “Come over right away. If you don't, you will collect your daughter's dead body in 20 minutes.”
My father came, and my heart ached when I saw the sadness in his face as he slowly walked to our door. But I reminded myself, “I'm a cultivator and must make it past this. What my father has suffered today will be turned into blessings if I can succeed in my cultivation. My father will survive this because Master is taking care of both of us.”
With my mind clear, I sat next to my husband and father, and sent righteous thoughts for them. Nothing more happened that night.
The next day, I boarded a bus headed to a work conference.
My husband said to me later, “Falun Dafa practitioners are really able to endure. You weren't afraid and didn't even cry when I lost control. Other women might have been scared to death. I cannot interfere with your cultivation anymore. Just do what you want to do.”
His words were not a compliment, but rather a realization. It was obvious that the old evil forces were using him. I looked inward and found that I was attached to Consummation. If I didn't let go of this attachment, everything I did would only amount to a human being pursuing human goals. How could I hope to save him, then?
I realized that my compassion was lacking, and that I needed to continue improving.
Letting Go of Fear
Posters displaying messages slandering Dafa were posted on two bulletin boards in my neighborhood. I expressed my concern to fellow practitioners, and we decided to cover them with ink.
We carried out our plan late at night. We soon discovered that the first set of posters were laminated, so most of the ink dripped right off. The messages were still legible. We decided to completely remove the posters and hide them in nearby bushes.
The second bulletin board was placed near a security office in a brightly lit area. As we approached, we saw that the posters were stuck to the glass and found them extremely difficult to remove. We sent forth righteous thoughts, and the posters came off immediately. Though we were tense and afraid of getting caught, we made it home safely.
However, fear lingered in my mind even after I went to bed. I worried about security cameras capturing our actions, and I felt restless the entire night.
I analyzed the situation more the next day, and I didn't think our actions were ideal. The posters contained words such as “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” and “Zhuan Falun.” I thought I should have taken the posters home instead of leaving them there for non-practitioners to deal with.
I visited my neighbor, who was a janitor, wanting to borrow large bags to hold the posters. She was not home at the time, so I took two bags, intending to let her know later.
A little while later I realized that I should let ordinary people handle their own posters. These posters are not the same as Dafa practitioners' materials.
I further realized that I was obsessed over trivial things. My mentality mirrored that of tiptoeing around to avoid stepping on ants. Furthermore, going back for the posters posed an unnecessary risk. I was also wrong for taking the bags without permission, and so I returned them the next day.
My journey of cultivation has been a work in progress, but one of steady if painful improvement, and this episode was a microcosm of that. Through this process, I have witnessed Falun Dafa's mighty virtue and Master's compassionate salvation. My gratitude towards Master is beyond words. Thank you, Master!
