Working to Remove My Dominant Personality
(Minghui.org) I am a 62-year-old Falun Dafa practitioner. Over my past nineteen years of cultivation, I've realized that my attachment to domination has greatly hindered my xinxing improvement. From then on, removing this attachment has been my highest priority.
Strong Attachment to Domination
I am the fourth of seven sisters, and the one with the shrewdest mind and shortest temper.
When my parents fell ill in my teens, I curried their favor by helping them out with many household chores. As a result, they let me have my way all the time. I enjoyed lording over all my sisters like I was the one in charge of the whole family.
My temper only got worse after I got married, and I gave my very considerate husband a very hard time. After giving birth to two children, however, my health began to deteriorate in my thirties. I could no longer do housework. I had tried all sorts of physical therapy and exercises to improve my condition, but nothing worked.
Becoming a Dafa Practitioner
I began practicing Falun Dafa at the age of 43 in April 1996. I read the book Zhuan Falun twice in the first week after I started, and instantly felt a lot better. I was now well enough to do housework, but my cross personality still stayed.
In Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun, Master taught us that “...as a practitioner, one should not fight back when being punched or insulted, but should conduct oneself with a high standard.”
I followed this guidance and read the book diligently whenever I had time. One month after my cultivation, my diseases disappeared, and my temper improved. My whole family felt relieved.
Master also taught us:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy.An enlightened person has no attachments at all. He quietly observes the people of the world deluded by illusions.” (“Realm” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that I still had the mind of a wicked person and needed to work harder to cultivate it all away. To become an enlightened person, I must improve my dominating temperament. I began to share my thoughts with my family and looked at things from their perspective before making decisions. I also became more considerate of them and their values.
I always try to follow what Master taught us in Zhuan Falun.
“Ordinary people have their pursuits, and we don’t seek them. As for what ordinary people have, we also aren’t interested. Yet what we have is something that ordinary people cannot obtain, even if they want to.”
I have slowly changed. My family was very happy to see my physical and spiritual improvement, though I still think that I have a long way to go.
Seeing my change, my parents-in-law eventually started practicing Dafa, too.
Removing My Attachment of Domination
I often read Master's Fa teachings and fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles to my husband. Gradually, he understood the principles of “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance” and started practicing Dafa before he retired.
In our group Fa-study sessions at my home, my husband always jumped at opportunities to read. He not only rushed while reading but also repeated or missed words. This annoyed me.
But I immediately thought of my attachment of domination. I held back my temper and patiently listened, hoping that Dafa will change him sooner or later.
My husband also practiced the exercises intermittently. I often chided him and told him to practice with a harsh voice. He tried to work hard on the three things after he retired. I again bossed him around, especially when he was making truth-clarifying materials. These commandeering approaches inevitably resulted in bad outcomes.
I often criticized him over trivial things in our daily life. But he is patient, tolerant, and open-minded. Because of this, his xinxingincreased by a lot, while mine fell behind.
I also domineered over fellow practitioners. When we worked on Dafa projects, I often made my own decisions and did not consult with the project coordinator. In contrast, other practitioners always cooperated with me when I needed them.
I began to look inwards at myself to eliminate my attachments after each project.
Even though I am now less dominant, I still have not completely rid myself of the attachment yet. But with the guidance of Dafa principles, I am confident that one day, I will.