(Minghui.org) Before I practiced Falun Gong, when I came across the word “compassion,” I did not really understand what it meant in the true sense of the word, though it gave me a warm feeling. I thought it connoted grand love or supreme care. But that was as far as it went.
After I began to cultivate, I listened to Master’s lecture about sentimentality versus compassion.
Master said,
“If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Zhuan Falun)
Yet, I still did not really understand the deeper meaning. I asked myself, “Why would we need to be freed from sentimentality in order to develop compassion? What is the fundamental difference between sentimentality and compassion?”
Through over a decade of cultivation and enlightening, I gradually came to understand different connotations of sentimentality versus compassion, depending on my cultivation level at a given point in time.
Sentimentality Comes in Both Positive and Negative Types
Sentimentality contains selfishness and is conditional. There are both positive and negative types. For example, happiness, anger, sadness, and joy are all manifestations of sentimentality. Sentimentality is emotional, unstable, and uncontrollable. The essential factors that constitute sentimentality are something within the Three Realms, at a low-level.
Compassion is different, as it is selfless, unconditional, and eternal. Its manifestation is always calm and rational.
It was a slow and gradual process to let go of sentimentality and cultivate compassion. I put the process down on paper as a summary of my cultivation. At the same time, I used it to remind myself that I let go of fame, profit, and sentimentality, and replace it with great compassion.
Struggling to Pass Cultivation Tests
I experienced a major emotional setback less than after I began practicing Falun Gong. My boyfriend, whom I was very much in love with, broke up with me. It confused me and I could not tell whether it was real or a dream.
After all, as a cultivator, I knew that it was a test concerning sentimentality that I had to pass. Therefore, I used all available time to study the Fa, so I would improve my character. I participated in group Fa study and exercises at the practice site every evening. Even so, every time when I was unable to sleep in the dead of night, scene after scene of us being together lingered in front of my eyes—just like a never-ending movie. My pain on this loss lingered on and on.
I asked myself countless times: “What on earth is sentimentality? Is there anyone I can still trust in this world?” I had a hunch that I could get out of all of this if I let go of sentimentality and pain, because I was a cultivator. However, it was extremely difficult to do.
To overcome this painful dilemma I recited Master's poem “Real Cultivation” (Hong Yin) many times daily. The pain disappeared only when my body and mind were completely immersed in the Fa. Without the Fa, it would have been an endless struggle to pass this test.
In the Grip of Sentimentality
Soon after, I met my current husband, got married, and had a son. It was a good relationship with my husband. I felt very fortunate, as I finally I had found someone I could trust.
However, this bliss did not last long. I found out that he cheated with an ex-girlfriend in 2004. I felt a sudden rush of disappointment and talked to him about it. Yet, despite his many promises, he kept up contact with her.
I lost my trust in him and felt sorry that I had met two unfaithful men. I thought of divorce, but remembered that I was a cultivator. Was this not another test with in regards to sentimentality? Perhaps because I had not done well in the previous sentimentality tests, Master arranged for this one?
At that time I often experienced boundless loneliness. No one could understand my pain or emotion. For a long time I felt depressed and unhappy, and had a difficult time breaking through this ordeal.
However I found great consolation when I recited Master's Poem:
“The interminable snowfall and rainare the tears of gods,Who look longingly for the plum blossoms’ return”(“Plum Blossoms” in Hong Yin Vol. II)
Indeed, what was the big deal even if I was abandoned by everyone on earth? Buddha did not abandon me. Deities were hoping for my return. Master's law bodies were always watching over me. I was not alone. It was that one thought that helped me through those difficult times.
Becoming More Compassionate
From my two experiences, I learned the pain of being hurt by love, which has it roots in sentimentality. Love is precarious, and I was hurt because I was still in love and bound by it. Happiness, anger, sadness, and joy are all attachments, and are all based on selfishness. How could I assimilate to the Falun Gong principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance without letting go of selfishness?
Having enlightened to this, I realized why Master asked us to be free from sentimentality. When I looked at my husband, my view changed completely. He was a sentient being and inevitably affected by the warped elements of sentimentality within the Three Realms. The source of my being hurt stemmed from my attachment to the love between husband and wife.
From a cultivation point of view, we were both at the same level, that is, within human sentimentality. If I was not in love, I would not be moved and he could not hurt me. Instead, I would treat him with compassion, thereby saving him.
I again clarified the truth about Falun Gong to my husband. He did not oppose my cultivation and denounced the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I told him Falun Gong’s requirements on love, and the harm of not letting go of lust. I helped him understand: The moral standard of human society is now in a rapid decline. Thus, don’t follow the crowd.
I gave him Falun Gong books and practitioners' experience sharing articles to read. Gradually, my husband agreed more and more with the Falun Gong principles and even started to cultivate.
As we improved in cultivation, we were no longer immersed in human love. Meanwhile, our compassion grew and our relationship became more and more harmonious. This was because we had let go of selfishness. This showed us clearly that compassion grows when sentimentality disappears.
Hypocritical Behavior
However, when it came to my relationship with other people, there were still trials and tribulations. True compassion would manifest not only in a relationship with a certain individual, but in all relationships with everyone. Only when I reached this level could I use myself as an example to validate the Fa to save sentient beings.
I tended to classify the people around me into several categories. For example, some were kindhearted and mild-tempered, some were sarcastic and critical, some were domineering, some were cunning and sly, and so on.
At that time, I only talked to people who I thought were kindhearted and mild-tempered people about Falun Gong. I even regarded others as not worth the effort. Outwardly, I was courteous to everyone, but in my heart I despised all others. Often, I talked behind their back and passed judgment on them.
Master taught us the law of “the appearance stems from the mind.” My field, being unkind, would not bring around beautiful things. In fact, I often got hurt by others' verbal abuses, and I felt angry for the lack of proper reward of my long-term mental, behavioral, and material contributions.
Master said:
“...only when you have an attachment will you be affected inside; if you don’t have an attachment, it will be like a breeze passing over you—you won’t feel a thing. If you hear someone say that you want to commit some horrible crime, you’ll just find it amusing. (Master laughs) You will think, “How could that be possible?” and will laugh it off. You won’t take it seriously at all. Since you don’t even have that thought, those words can’t touch you. If you don’t have that kind of thought, they can’t touch you. When you are affected inside, that means you do have [an attachment]! And if you really feel strongly that you have been treated unjustly, then [your attachment] is rather large. (Applause) So shouldn’t you cultivate yourself?” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
After reading Master's words, I instantly found my deeply hidden attachments—seeking fame, profit, and requiring reward for contribution. Those whose acts were not approved by me as this was not the compassion of a cultivator.
Letting Go of Attachments to Become Even More Compassionate
For many years, I was happy in my heart because I was fortunate enough to obtain the Fa and bathe in Master’s mighty benevolence. Yet I never thought to treat all people around me with tolerance and compassion. I just wanted high-level beings to accept me.
Master's compassion can contain the entire universe, while I just wanted to be a member of this universe, feeling the warmth of being accepted and without having to bother with those who did not meet my expectations. My selfishness and jealousy prevented me from reaching the realm of compassion.
Master said:
“Cultivators’ thinking and their bodies’ capacity and volume will expand. So sometimes when you do the standing stance you will feel like you’ve become tall and big. Some other people will feel like they have become very small, because that body that has been fully cultivated can become large or small. Cultivators’ bodies will indeed enlarge. Otherwise, at high levels you wouldn’t be able to bear the understanding of the reality of the cosmos.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Houston”)
Making a Breakthrough
In my understanding, one reason why the capacity of cultivators minds and bodies expands is because the capacity of their hearts enlarges. In order to increase the capacity of the heart, one needs to achieve the state of non-pursuit and unconditional tolerance. In other words, only when we act without pursuit, can we expand the capacity of the heart.
When we have a heart with a large capacity, compassion will expand and we can accommodate more and save more sentient beings.
When I came to understand this, all people around me became pleasing to the eye. I no longer classify them. I just try my best to save every single one of them!
Thank you Master for your merciful hints!
Category: Improving Oneself
