(Minghui.org) I had formed a deep-rooted negative way of thinking after being instilled with the “education” from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture.
When I pondered cultivation, I would think of Jesus, a tragic legend who was crucified, or Tang Seng, the Chinese Buddhist monk from the classic novel Journey to the West, who experienced numerous hardships in his journey from China to India to obtain the sutras. But history has made it clear that those who persecute followers of righteous beliefs will never succeed.
I all but forgot the positive lessons from Rome's Great Plague, during which the king and royal family all died in great agony. They suffered karmic retribution as a result of their cruel persecution of Christians.
In 1999, when the brutal persecution of Falun Gong began in China, I got drawn into a negative pattern of thought. I often worried about being persecuted and how to protect myself. When I thought of practitioners that I knew, some whom I had not even seen for a couple of years, I could never release negative thoughts about them. I would dwell on their shortcomings, which were obviously not reflections of these practitioners' true performance. I believe some of these bad thoughts were imposed by my human attachments.
I once argued, even quarreled, with a fellow practitioner, who was a coordinator. She had restricted my taking part in activities to spread the Fa, and consequently I formed very strong negative thoughts about her. Whenever her name was mentioned, my face and ears would get hot and flushed because I felt she had been interfering with tasks we were undertaking to safeguard and spread the Fa. Then, in order to strengthen my human attachments, the old forces made practitioners in my area gossip that she had done things that were not in line with Dafa’s principles. I became very angry with her.
In return, she also had strong negative thoughts toward me. I knew she didn't dare interfere with our teaching computer skills to practitioners who needed help establishing Dafa material sites in their local areas, because the task was approved by Master. But she asked other practitioners to keep away from me because I was not righteous or eligible in her eyes to do Dafa projects. She even wrote about me in an article.
I made a mistake when I was illegally detained in a labor camp during the early years of the persecution. It is true that I was stuck in my personal cultivation, pursuing the fulfillment of my human attachments. This was due to neglecting Fa study and because I lacked a deeper understanding of Fa. Hence, I had a nasty tumble. At that time, the Fa was not clear to me at my level (particularly about how signing a guarantee statement to stop practicing Falun Gong is a stain on one's cultivation path).
I have not made the same mistake since then, and I have tried my best to handle things with righteousness. I thought to myself, “It was something that happened years ago. Why does she still mention it now?” I felt she was being unfair, and the more I thought about it, the madder I felt. I couldn’t wait to ask her face-to-face if she was doing things with a righteous mind. I was told that she had pretended to be “transformed” by the evil while imprisoned, even after Master explained the Fa clearly.
She was no better than me. What was worse, she made up rumors about practitioners who were experiencing tribulations. Apparently, she had been directly responsible for several cases where fellow practitioners were persecuted.
We were in fact both looking outward, just as ordinary people do. We blamed each other when we found loopholes in the other's cultivation. We were actually taken advantage of by the old forces. I realized that the interference the old forces impose attempts to create gaps between practitioners who have loopholes in their cultivation. If we can’t see through this trick, we will interfere with saving sentient beings and validating the Fa. Dafa practitioners cultivate among ordinary people, because the Fa can only be validated in ordinary society. Everything is well arranged by Master.
When I calmed down and took a rational look at the issue, I found that I had focused on the shortcomings and unrighteousness of the coordinator. I asked myself, “Is she really like what I have seen? No!” She had done a lot of things that others were unable to do. Although she was nearly 70, she has led fellow practitioners to the villages and towns surrounding the city, and she has overcome loads of difficulties to deliver Dafa materials to every household. Although she was also forced to write a guarantee statement to stop practicing Dafa, what happened was in her past and it was not her true nature. Master asked us to look at the positives of other practitioners—how could I only focus on her weaknesses? A Dafa practitioner should not dwell on the past mistakes of others to validate himself or herself. This would interfere with the salvation of sentient beings.
Master taught us in the Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference that we should not look at the bad sides of people,"So in any situation, don't be affected by human-type behavior, don't be affected by human thoughts, and don't be affected by the feelings and emotions in this world, either. Look more at the positives in others and less at the negatives. "
Of course we need to change any deviated ways of thinking. We need to let go of negative thoughts about other practitioners. Otherwise it will stay in the back of our mind, and grow thicker and thicker as time passes. Eventually the negativity will suffocate us as we continue to judge every person around us and think that everyone should apologize to us. As a matter of fact, our negativity about others only prevents us from having strong righteous thoughts and results in helping others cultivate rather than us cultivating ourselves according to the Fa.
While I hold righteous and positive thought in my mind, the world around me adjusts. This is the new me: My mind is full of the glory and the greatness of my fellow practitioners who are on their paths to validate the Fa. Under the influence of this positive thinking, my loved ones and friends who had not understood me or even stood in the way of my practicing Dafa have totally changed and have given their full support to Dafa and Dafa disciples.
Now that my heart is full of compassion instead of rancor, I have eradicated any thoughts of anguish or injustice. The fog of delusion has now dispersed, the sky has become clear, and I have reached a higher realm.
Thank you to our benevolent Master for teaching me to cultivate and enlighten to the principles of the Fa!
Category: Improving Oneself
