China Fahui | Cultivating through a Severe Tribulation to Become Humble and Compassionate
(Minghui.org) My husband had a stroke on March 29, 2015. After surgery, the right side of his body was paralyzed, and the doctor told us that he most likely would be paralyzed for the rest of his life and unable to speak.
The doctor also said that he would lose his memory, have high blood pressure, and develop diabetes. I spent five months in the hospital with my husband. During that time, I underwent enormous changes.
Attachment to Sentimentality
We were married in 2003 and began to cultivate in Falun Dafa after we got married. This was the second marriage for both of us, and we both had a daughter from our previous marriages.
My husband was very attentive; he did all the household chores and was kind to my daughter and the rest of my family. I had mixed feelings when I saw him bedridden, and my heart was moved by any tiny physical and mental changes of his. I developed an attachment to my husband's physical condition.
I was driven by emotion and could not think of anything from the perspective of the Fa. I realized that I was too attached to my husband and had to eliminate this.
“If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Zhuan Falun)
I then realized, from the perspective of the Fa, that everything I faced were illusions. I decided to no longer have an attachment to my husband's physical improvement and instead tried to help him restore his memory of the Fa, of Master, and cultivation practice. I played the video of Master's lectures, the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, studied the Fa with him, and told him that I would help him do the exercises. However he was loath to do so and sometimes even cursed me, but I was not moved.
I understood that righteous thoughts would eliminate all interference. I constantly looked inward and rectified myself, and during the five months in the hospital, I let go of many attachments.
I just held one thought: I know that Master is always with us. Master will arrange everything for us as long as we believe in Master and the Fa.
Compassionate to Family Members, All Problems Dissolve
My father-in-law was not diligent because of the persecution, and he passed away suddenly. This resulted in misunderstandings and complaints by my sisters-in-law. My family thus always blamed me for my father-in-law's passing. In addition, I did not handle my relationship with my step-daughter very well. This all deepened their hatred of me. I then realized that the only way to change their attitude toward Dafa was to cultivate myself and validate the Fa with compassion and forbearance.
My sisters-in-law were afraid that I would abandon my husband. I said that even if I hadn't done well in the past, I would improve. I told them I would do my best to look after my husband and step-daughter, and I would also treat my mother-in-law well.
I looked after my husband during the five months in the hospital. I never complained, no matter how tired I was. I also communicated frequently with my step-daughter and kept her in my thoughts. She seemed to realize this and also changed her attitude toward me.
My mother-in-law was happy and my sisters-in-law told their friends that it was not easy for me to take care of my husband. All the conflicts were resolved as I cultivated myself during this time.
It was not easy going while experiencing these tribulations. I was not afraid of the tiredness, but I lost the cultivation environment of other fellow practitioners, as I had to stay at the hospital all day long. I always cried at night. My husband's memory about his cultivation practice was gone. He did not remember Master, and neither did he remember that he was a practitioner.
Master told us,
“Cultivation is hard. It’s hard in that even when a terrible calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps you take on your path of cultivation.” (“Path,” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I had to pass this tribulation. After I realized this simple fact, I no longer complained and was no longer afraid of hardship. I treated myself as a practitioner when I faced my husband's curses, and I was not moved by my husband's attitude and tried to be compassionate. All I wanted was to treat him well. I maintained the peacefulness and compassion of a practitioner. The hospital staff also told me later that I was different from other people in that I was so compassionate.
While at the hospital, I studied the Fa and did the exercises. I always tried my best to help others when they had difficulties. I wanted people to know that practitioners are good.
“Everything we encounter are tests”
However, the old forces took still hold of my loopholes. I heard a fellow practitioner say, “How could she cultivate with so many attachments?” I almost collapsed after I heard this. I could not study the Fa and did not want to do the exercises. I only wanted to cry, and I asked myself, with tears in my eyes, if I could still cultivate. I felt that I had been abandoned and could not find my way home. I indulged myself in negative thoughts and could not escape from them.
I called another fellow practitioner to complain, and she really encouraged me. “Who said you could not cultivate? Did Master say that? It is such an honor to become a practitioner in this life. Everything we encounter are tests, and the key is to take advantage of everything to cultivates us.”
I knew I would change, even though the comment about me was a little bit negative. Was this not courage? Was it Master's arrangements to let me pass a bigger test? It is terrible for a practitioner to stick to human notions. We should get up immediately after we fall and walk the path Master arranged.
The lecture about “Reverse Cultivation and Gong Borrowing” appeared in my mind. I suddenly understood much more about Master's compassion. I no longer hesitated and decided to look inward, do the three things well, and be diligent.
Denying the Old Forces' Persecution
After five months in the hospital, my husband had not improved, despite the treatments. He could not speak clearly and did not even remember Master's name. I asked him to recite “Falun Dafa is good” but he did not understand. I asked him to ask help from Master and he said not to bother other people.
I knew that the old forces did not want my husband to obtain the Fa, so I tried my best and asked him to study the Fa with me. The old forces did not want him to do the exercises, so I helped him do the exercises. I knew that I had to deny the persecution arranged by the old forces.
In the beginning my husband could only do the first three exercises. Later he could do the fifth exercise. When he could stand by himself, I helped him to do the fourth exercise.
With Master's blessing, we finally passed the tribulation. My husband could then speak, and he could read the Fa. His memory returned. His physical condition also improved quickly and he again held righteous thoughts. He was released from the hospital on August 31 and got involved in the group cultivation environment.
The whole ordeal was also a good opportunity for me to upgrade myself. I learned how to do household chores, and I became gentle rather than demanding. I feel that I passed a bottleneck in my cultivation practice.
Only Master and the Fa can make changes within a person in such a short period of time. Dafa changed a demanding and selfish woman like me into a humble, compassionate, and tolerant Dafa disciple.
Thank you Master!Thank you Fellow Practitioners!