(Minghui.org) My wife and I recently went through a severe, even violent conflict. It was just as Master said, “Perhaps as soon as you step in the door, your spouse will throw a fit right in your face. If you endure it, your effort of practicing qigong today is not in vain.” (“Lecture Four” from Zhuan Falun)
One night, when I was going to bed, my wife suddenly got mad. “Tell me! What did you do the other day with that woman in her house with the door locked? Don't fool me! It took you a long time to open the door!” she scolded, then she pushed and kicked me. “You just cannot stay away from women! You always have affairs with them! …You even gave her money! You are shameless!”
I never had any affair. My wife saw me working with another female practitioner the other day printing Falun Dafa materials, and the money was for buying the printing media.
I was shocked that my wife, as a diligent practitioner, misunderstood me so and insulted me, and also insulted the female practitioner. It was so painful to be wronged and scorned like this that my heart felt like it was bleeding. But I remained silent because Master taught us “You did not hit back or swear back.” (Lecture in Sydney)
My wife became more and more angry. She pushed me and cursed at me nonstop. Finally, she grabbed my feet and held me upside down. I was surprised that she had so much strength, probably because she was in such a rage. But I still remained silent, nor did I fight back.
Suddenly, our 12-year-old daughter came in. Startled by the scene, she quietly exited the room. It was so embarrassing that we fell into complete silence. My wife calmed down and apologized, “I am sorry. I know you did not do it. I was just angry then.” I teased her, “If I were not a Falun Dafa practitioner, I would have hit you so hard that your nose would have been broken.”
Master said, “It is real anger from the bottom of her heart, because whoever has acquired the karma feels uncomfortable. It is guaranteed to be this way.” (“Lecture Four” from Zhuan Falun)
My wife must have felt very bad when she was eliminating the karma for me. Although I did not fight back, I still felt angry and sad in my heart, so I have not reached Master's requirements for cultivators: “To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Looking inward, although I did not have an affair, deep in my mind I still admired beautiful women and paid attention to them. Isn't that lust? In another dimension, my wife's anger was directed at the lust that I have not yet completely removed. So from the perspective of a higher level of cultivation, she was right.
In comparison with me, my wife has done very well in her interactions with men. She never wears swim suits in front of other men, and she has even turned down invitations from her relatives to go to the spa together. My wife is a very traditional woman. She is strict with herself, and never covers up her mistakes. She has been improving quickly recently, which is why she apologized to me right after she calmed down from the conflict.
In a group Fa study session, I shared with my wife and other practitioners how I found my attachment to lust through this incident.
Master said, “'He's right, And I'm wrong,' What's to dispute?” (“Who's Right, Who's Wrong” from Hong Yin III)
Whenever conflicts emerge, if we keep Master's words in mind, we can always get past the conflict and find deeply hidden attachments. Once we find the attachments and make up our minds to get rid of them, Master will help us to remove them. After we get rid of our own attachments, the conflict will be gone, because it was probably arranged by Master for us to improve.
As we progress towards the end of our cultivation, the requirements will be higher and higher. I must always guide myself with the Fa, and be more and more strict with myself, until I eventually meet Master's requirements 100% .
Category: Improving Oneself
