Giving Up Jealousy
(Minghui.org) As I reflected on some conflicts I was having recently, I asked myself, “Why do I always behave like this? Was there something inside me that caused these problems?” I felt frustrated after looking within, but being unable to identify my problem. I pleaded for a hint from Master.
Something inside me had blocked my progress in cultivation for several years. I was stuck, and seemed to be improving very slowly. I was tired, too. I just couldn't show true compassion from my heart.
With Master's help, I finally identified my fundamental attachments of jealousy and self-validation.
In the past I was confused by what Teacher said in the “Jealousy” section of Zhuan Falun:
“There is this rule: If in the course of cultivation practice jealousy is not given up, one will not attain Right Fruit—absolutely not.” (Zhuan Falun)
I hadn't contemplated further however.
I now understand. My jealousy was manifesting in many ways, such as focusing on other people's shortcomings, becoming obsessed with fellow practitioners' attachments, and looking outward instead of inward.
I was validating myself while working with fellow practitioners. I provoked others when I became angry, and it seemed I wasn't satisfied until the other person also became angry.
I complained about the things I wasn't happy about, and often hurt those whom I felt had hurt me. How was this any different than what we were taught about killing and stomping the dead bodies to release our hatred, by Chinese Communist Party's education system?
All of these things are elements which stem from extreme selfishness and narrow-mindedness, and they deviate from the characteristic of the universe, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Jealousy also generates many derivatives such as competitiveness, hatred, self-validation, and selfishness.
After I identified my jealousy, I gained a deeper appreciation of Master's teaching,
“If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Zhuan Falun)
My body felt light all over after I found my human attachments which had prevented me from elevating. My heart opened completely, and my conflicts with fellow practitioners disappeared into thin air.