Letting Go of Jealousy after a Fellow Practitioner's Submission Was Published

(Minghui.org) As a coordinator, I have always encouraged fellow practitioners to submit articles to the online China Fahui. In addition to submitting my own, I also helped revise several practitioners' submissions, including one from practitioner A.

This practitioner made a breakthrough in making phone calls to persuade people to quit the Chinese communist organizations in the past two years. Her article was about her cultivation experiences regarding this.

After the 10^th Fahui started, another practitioner told me that A's sharing was published on Minghui. The next time I saw A, I felt unsettled. Actually A and I had a good relationship, and we often worked together to inform people about the persecution. But instead of feeling happy for her, I thought my article should have been published first.

After getting home that night, I felt lost and depressed, as if I was very disappointed about myself and my future. I even kind of felt abandoned.

I thought, “What's wrong with me? I'm a coordinator and I always encourage fellow practitioners to improve as a whole. When practitioner A first joined the phone project she encountered big obstacles and I often called her to encourage her and share my experiences. Now she has improved, yet I don't feel comfortable!”

I knew clearly that it was jealousy. Until that moment I hadn't realized how strong my jealousy was. Just as Master said, “It is so strong that it has become natural and one does not even feel it.” (Lecture Seven in Zhuan Falun)

When I thought about it, I never had the sense of eliminating this attachment. From that state of mind I had a deeper understanding of Master's Fa, “If jealousy is not abolished, everything that you have cultivated will become fragile.” (Lecture Seven in Zhuan Falun)

I started to hand copy the section about “Jealousy” in Zhuan Falun. I felt this would help eliminate a lot of deviated substances. In the process of hand copying, I noticed that whenever Master gave an example of jealousy, it was about looking down on others and feeling uneasy upon hearing others having good things.

Reflecting on myself, I found there simply were so many manifestations of this phenomenon in my thinking. For example, I usually have negative thoughts about fellow practitioners, thinking this practitioner has too many human thoughts, that one does not have a good understanding of the Fa principles. This one doesn't even know how to cultivate. She has too much Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture in her mind, and so on.

Even after a practitioner persuaded many people to quit the CCP organizations, I'd compare the number I achieved with theirs, instead of truly feeling happy for my fellow practitioner. Aren't those the manifestations of jealousy?

Looking inward further, I realized why I wasn't confident in being a coordinator. Whenever encountering a problem I'd think of backing down, and I always felt I was facing the brunt of the storm.

I used to think that practitioners who have a clear understanding of the Fa have too many concerns when doing things, and those who forged ahead had a poor understanding. I felt like I didn't have anyone who I could rely on for help and support. I had often complained and accused fellow practitioners. Wasn't this caused by jealousy manifesting as my looking down on others?

I once shared my experiences at a Fahui about truth clarification via mobile phones. Later that article was selected by Minghui and compiled into their truth clarification materials, and it was praised by fellow practitioners.

Although I didn't say anything, I'd felt smug. Subsequently when I read other sharing articles on this subject, I would subconsciously compare it with my article. For years I hadn't noticed this habit, and I always thought that my article was better than others'. Isn't this demonic interference from my own mind?

When practitioners said that I had a keen eye for identifying problems, I felt complacent. But now I know that this was a drawback in my cultivation. What's the use of identifying others' problems? A diligent cultivator should have keen insight into his own problems.

I felt regretful. When I sent forth righteous thoughts in the next few days, I first eliminated my jealousy. In my contact with fellow practitioners, I also paid attention to my mindset and immediately rejected any negative thinking towards them or looking down upon other practitioners.

I used to be very good at finding others' shortcomings, but since then I began to see others' good points. It seemed that by doing this, the capacity of my xinxing also increased a lot and I learned to understand and tolerate others.

Since I constantly looked inward, I felt great changes in myself. It felt as if I was surrounded by energy every day. I knew it was actually Master, encouraging my sincere attempts to progress forward. The changes were also reflected in my truth-clarification phone calls; the calls began to go very smoothly. I once successfully persuaded 40 people to quit the CCP in one day.

A few days later I saw another practitioner's Fahui sharing article published. This time I truly felt happy for that practitioner. “Thank you Master!” I thanked Master in tears for my improvement.

Later when I saw another local practitioner's Fahui sharing article published on Minghui, I downloaded it and shared it with others at our group study.

Although my own article was not published, I gained a lot from participating in the online China Fahui. I later found a lot of problems in my submission. After that, I learned to view fellow practitioners righteously.

With that change of mindset, I realized that there are so many diligent practitioners around me. They each have their own strengths. Some have open and broad minds with very few notions. Some can solidly cultivate with rational and good understandings of the Fa principles. Some have strong and powerful righteous thoughts. Others have good organizational and communication skills. Some are hard working technical experts, etc. They have all been giving quietly to harmonize the one body.

With such an enormous Fa from Master and with the coordination and support of so many good fellow practitioners, I suddenly felt so encouraged.