(Minghui.org) While I was riding the bus home from my sister's on June 10 this year, I suddenly felt a strange pressure in my chest. I coughed up a dark, thick, bloody mass.
As I coughed, I could feel the mass coming from my chest, rather than my throat. This is a typical symptom of tuberculosis. I immediately eliminated the thought that something was wrong and I sent forth righteous thoughts for a long time. However, because I hadn't identified the fundamental cause, there was no significant change. In fact, it got worse, and I began to vomit more and more blood.
When I began to look within, I was shocked to find so many attachments: the mentality of showing off, zealotry, jealousy, refusing to accept criticism, and the attachments to lust, money, and many other attachments.
I began to recite the Fa:
"Our Falun Dafa will protect practitioners from deviating. How does it protect you? If you are a true practitioner, our Falun will safeguard you. I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe. What I have said may sound quite inconceivable. You will understand it later as you study further. There are also other things that are too profound for me to make known. We will systematically expound the Fa of high levels, from the simple to the profound. It will not work if your own xinxing is not righteous. If you pursue something, you may get into trouble." (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
By reciting the Fa, I became more confident. I didn't go to the hospital, and I didn't stop doing what I should do as a Dafa disciple. I continued cultivating and fulfilling my responsibilities with strong righteous thoughts.
However, by September 12, the situation worsened. I couldn't sleep, and as soon as I lay down I had to get up to spit out blood. Things got so bad that finally I could barely make it out of the bathroom. Blood flowed out of my nostrils, and tears ran down my face. When I was barely able to hold on, I thought of Master and called out in my mind, "Master, please save me! Master, please save me!"
Immediately, the bloody vomiting and the coughing stopped. The blood rushing up from my chest subsided. I could breathe easily, and all the TB symptoms lessened. I knew that Master had saved me once again! My appreciation for our esteemed Master is beyond words.
Before when I was in dangerous situations, I always forgot to ask Master for help. I just felt bad that I was making trouble for Master. Actually, that was because I had insufficient belief in Master and the Fa. Master told us:
"But we have told you here that I can do it, because I have numerous fashen who possess my mighty divine powers. They can demonstrate great supernatural powers—very mighty powers of the Fa." (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
I realized it was my long-held attachments that had brought on the tribulation. Instead of letting go of those attachments, I reinforced them, and the old forces were able to utilize my loopholes to aggravate the persecution.
When I looked within, I found my biggest attachment was to fame and profit. I always craved success in my career so that people would admire and respect me. This was a good example of the "show off mentality" I had.
I also had another attachment: I developed a fascination with ancient Chinese characters and began researching them, even though I'm not well educated.
I was so deeply into it that I was distressed if I stopped working on it for even a day. Even my Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts were interrupted by my hours of research and writing. In my heart I was sure that one day I would become famous!
Master did not give up on me, but repeatedly gave me hints. In a dream, I saw a young woman rolling down hill, followed by a person who looked as if he were made of paper. When the paper person stopped halfway down the hill, another paper figure sat waiting on top of the hill. The young woman rolled down to the gate of a large temple at the bottom of the hill. She stood up, dusted herself off, and tried to go into the temple, but the gatekeeper refused to let her enter.
As soon as I saw this, I immediately understood: The young woman was my main spirit, and the two paper characters were my assistant spirits. I was going to be chased out if I continued to hold on to my attachment and wouldn't let it go!
When I woke up, I was shocked and frightened, and I felt remorse for a long time afterward. From then on, I stopped researching and writing about ancient Chinese characters.
Although I gave up my obsessive attachment to ancient Chinese characters, the demons still didn't let me go, and eventually, I had the sickness illusion of TB.
From this experience, I enlightened to a principle: If a cultivator cannot distinguish whether an issue is important or trivial, then he will have difficulty succeeding in cultivation. The only way to solve a problem is to cultivate well.
After I thoroughly looked within, I was relieved, determined to behave in line with Master's teachings. I was determined to relinquish all incorrect factors and to only recognize Master's arrangement and fully entrust myself to Master. I would just do what I should do as a Dafa disciple.
Less than a week later, all the “TB symptoms” disappeared, and did not recur.
Once again, I understood Master's teaching on a deeper level:
"When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide"(“The Master-Disciple Bond” in Hong Yin Vol. II)
Category: Improving Oneself
