While Going Through Tribulations, I Witnessed Master's Benevolence and Dafa's Mighty Virtue
(Minghui.org) One day I gave a young man a truth-clarification pamphlet. The young man was a patrolling undercover police officer, and I was arrested.
In the detention center, I recited:
“Imprisoned as you are, don’t be sorrowful or sadCarry on with righteous thoughts and actions, and the Fa is with youCalmly reflect on the attachments you haveRemove your human thoughts and evil will naturally die out”(“Don't Be Sad” from Hong Yin Vol. II)
I calmed down and looked inward. What attachment did I have that allowed the evil to persecute me?
Because of Fear I Wouldn't Admit I Was a Practitioner
I returned home ten days later. Through Fa study and looking within myself, I recalled some details that related to the arrest. I felt that this arrest had something to do with plagiarizing the Fa. Following this thinking, I suddenly realized that in 2000 I did something that a practitioner is not supposed to do: using Dafa and not validating Dafa, which plagiarized the Fa.
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party framed Falun Dafa. My friends and relatives called and asked me to stop cultivating. I was not affected. However, I did not come out to defend Dafa like other practitioners did. Instead, I adopted an evasive attitude, and I moved to a different city.
I found a teaching job at a college in that city. I thought I wanted to teach students using the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. However, one time after I wrote Truthfulness and Compassion on the board, I grew fearful. So next I wrote beauty instead of Forbearance. That was an act of plagiarizing the Fa. I used Dafa and did not validate Dafa. Another time, close to graduation, one student started a topic related to Falun Dafa, and I didn't directly answer the question due to my fear.
After this arrest, I clarified the truth to a police officer several times. As soon as I said Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, he repeatedly and loudly said, “Truthfulness-Benevolence-Beauty, Truthfulness-Benevolence-Beauty, Truthfulness-Benevolence-Beauty.” Master kept pointing out where my loophole was. However, I just could not enlighten to it.
“This is the universe’s Dafa, the fundamental Buddha Fa! It’s imparted to human beings to save them. Yet you alter a Fa this great... ? To alter just a bit of it is already a colossal sin. Be sure never to generate wicked thoughts simply because of your attachments to ordinary human society! This is extremely dangerous!” (“Dafa Can Never be Plagiarized” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
At that time, I didn't understand the Fa in depth. Terrorized, I committed a crime against Dafa. Even though I studied the Fa every day, I was only at the level of understanding Dafa as an ordinary person and tried to be a good person. At work, I asked myself to be a good person, and I made my class the best one in the school. I thought that was cultivation.
One student in another class was quite arrogant and despised the school. However, after he saw how I cared for another student, he changed his attitude and started to like school. That was the story he told in the school's speech contest. But I never admitted that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner.
All that praise from the teachers and students meant that I was validating myself, not Dafa! What a huge loophole! I didn’t recognize it. The old forces used this loophole to try to destroy me.
Master Has Been with Me
The day I returned home from the detention center, a neighbor who lived downstairs wanted me to sign an agreement to compensate him for damage and loss. Because of a water leak from my apartment, his ceiling fell in and injured someone. He asked me to pay for the structural damage and the medical bills.
The next day when I clarified the truth to my boss at work, he was not friendly and told me that the school might stop paying my salary. At that time, my mind was full of negative thoughts. I felt the old forces glaring at me like a tiger watching his prey; hundreds of tribulations fell upon me. I recited Master's Fa:
“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,Let joy be found in hardship.Physical pains count little as suffering,Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.Each and every barrier must be broken through,And everywhere does evil lurk.Abundant troubles rain down together,All to see: Can you pull through?The world’s miseries endured,One departs the earth a Buddha.”(“Tempering the Will” from Hong Yin)
The only thought in my mind was that everything is decided by Master. I calmed down and refused to let the old forces' plan take over.
To protect my Dafa books, I had been using ordinary thinking rather than righteous thoughts. The old forces used this loophole to persecute me. When I was arrested, I had a copy of Zhuan Falun in my bag. One officer grabbed the book, and another wanted my name. I refused to tell them. At last, the policeman said, “If you don't tell us your name, I'll destroy the book. If you tell us your name, I'll return the book to you.” My human thinking emerged, and I was afraid of him destroying the Dafa book. I signed my name on one paper. I didn't listen to Master and fell into the old forces' trap.
During the tribulations, however, Master has been with me. Master used a policeman's mouth to give me a hint: “You are not doing well.” I knew I did something wrong, so I declared that my signature and stamp were invalid.
Master always gave me chances to correct myself. At the moment I was arrested, my first thought was Master's Fa: “Usually wherever there is a problem, that is where Dafa disciples should go to clarify the facts, and do so tenaciously.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference”) What was in my mind was to clarify the truth and save sentient beings and to protect Dafa books. Since this thought accorded with the Fa and was righteous, Master reinforced me and imprinted Fa into my mind:
“Live with no pursuit,Die not caring about staying;Clear out all wild thoughts,Cultivating to a Buddha is not hard.”(“Nonexistence” from Hong Yin)
At once I let go of life and death, and I clarified the truth wherever I went.
The policeman initially took me to the community service hall. There were over a dozen people there. I clarified the truth to them loudly. The policeman shouted at me: “How dare you do that here!” I recalled Master's Fa: “... face the evil people with righteous thoughts at all times.” (“Dafa Disciples’ Righteous Thoughts are Powerful” in Essentials for further Advancement II) I looked into his eyes and told him that what he was doing was illegal and asked him to cherish his life. He softened his attitude.
While in the police car, police station, and interrogation room, I kept clarifying the truth and encouraging the police to quit the Chinese Communist Party, the Youth League, or the Young Pioneers. I truly felt that Master was reinforcing me. In the interrogation room, an officer tried to get me to give my name. He said: “Do you send out righteous thoughts? When others ask about your health, don't you say you are good?” I knew that Master was reminding me to send forth righteous thoughts frequently to disintegrate the evil. I was later released.
Sentient Beings Experience Dafa's Beauty
When I was taken at a later time to the detention center, I refused to go in. Master used a guard's mouth to give me a hint: “You can clarify the truth to people inside.” I instantly felt Master's vast compassion encouraging me to save people there.
After I was taken to the cell, people there curiously asked: “You are so old, what crime did you commit?” I stood in the middle of the room and started to clarify the truth. A guard opened the door and shouted, “Don't say that!” I said to him, “Didn't the officers who brought me here want me to tell them the truth?” The guard left without a word. A week later, that guard's back hurt. I told him to recite, “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” He smiled, “You have said that to everyone in the cell.”
From the moment I arrived in the detention cell, I had the thought of validating Dafa with my actions so that people could see the beauty of Dafa and accept the truth.
I was given a cotton comforter and a straw mat. Later I learned that others didn't get these things. Without a second thought, I gave the straw mat to a girl. The room was hot and humid. I slept on the wooden floor. A girl who understood the truth got a straw mat from a men's cell and gave it to me. I washed it and gave it to another girl.
My husband, friends, and fellow practitioners came to visit me eight times in 10 days. Each time they brought me a dish. Meals in the detention center were difficult to eat, especially for the girls, so I gave those dishes to them. One girl who was a pimp didn't accept the truth at the beginning. She objected to what I said. A few days later, she said quietly to me, “You are really nice!” I said, “I cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Falun Gong teaches people to be good.” She believed in God. I told her that being a pimp was not good and God did not allow it. I then told her about withdrawing from the Party. She felt that I was truly telling her for her own good, and she quit.
A girl who was willing to listen to the truth called Master's name directly when I talked about Falun Dafa for the first time in the cell. I stopped her and asked her to say Master Li or Mr. Li. So, from then on, during break time or whenever she heard someone say Master's name, she said loudly: “Don't call him by that name; call him Master Li or Mr. Li.” Every day she recited “Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” Others followed her. They all liked the nicknames I gave them to make the “three withdrawals.” They started using their nicknames instead of their real names.
I did the exercises every night. They were amazed by the graceful movements of the exercises and asked me to teach them how to do them. I introduced Zhuan Falun to them. Three of them expressed their intention to get the book once they were released. All but two of them quit the Party.
The girls in the cell were either prostitutes or pimps and they talked dirty. But, Master didn't give up on them. For two days, the TV was broken, which made them restless. On the first day, I didn't realize that Master wanted me to save them. The second day, I enlightened to it. I recited Master's “Lacking All Restraint” in Hong Yin III to them many times. They reduced their dirty talk and became a lot quieter. I witnessed Dafa's power.
During the 10 days, I used my time to clarify the truth, send forth righteous thoughts, and recite Master's Fa. One evening, three guards came in while I was standing near the window and recited Lunyu. One guard said, “Your attitude is good.” The other guard said, “Can I practice Falun Gong?” I said, “The Buddha Fa emphasizes predestined relationship; the whole world needs Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance!” They left smiling.
Master said: “Whenever I see you suffering, Master feels even more troubled than you; whenever you do not take a step well, it really pains my heart.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I cannot express my gratitude to Master in words. I feel sad that I did not live up to Master's expectation and caused Master to worry about me.
Fear led me to commit a crime against Dafa 13 years ago. Fear made me fall time after time. The old forces seized my loopholes and tried to persecute and destroy me. It is Master who gave me righteous thoughts and the opportunities to eliminate fear and validate Dafa.
Through my experiences, I truly enlightened that it is impossible for the old forces to eliminate our attachments by persecuting us. What the old forces did will not only destroy practitioners, but also sentient beings. Only Dafa can save sentient beings.
Master always asks disciples to study the Fa more:
“Now you can see why I’ve often told you to read the book more, right?! The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive out Interference” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Due to limitations at my level, please kindly point out anything that is inappropriate.