The Attachment of Dependency
“I only listen to what you tell me to do.”
A few days ago I went out to eat with my husband. I drove over the Manshui Bridge. There were concrete blocks on both sides of the bridge to prevent trucks from going over. I drove too close to the edge and left a long scratch on the side of the car. My husband complained and said, “Why didn't you look in the rearview mirror?” I said, “It's because I only listen to what you tell me to do.”
Showing off and dependency
Yesterday, I thought about this further, looked within and discovered an attachment that wasn't easy to detect, an attachment to showing off. I thought that I drove better than most women. When I dug deeper, I found a strong attachment to dependency. Even though on the surface it appears that I'm the boss at home, within my heart I have a strong attachment to dependency. I consider my husband to be master of the house. He makes decisions regarding the significant issues. If this attachment to dependency isn't removed, it will create obstacles on the path of cultivation.
Attachment to dependency on one's spouse
There is a practitioner who lives near me whose husband doesn't practice Falun Gong, yet when I share with her, she often brings up her husband's opinions, “My husband said that it is like this.” When I pointed out some things that a practitioner really shouldn't do, she said, “My husband wants this, it doesn't really matter to me.” It was as if it didn't have any relationship with her. Her husband used post truth clarification materials and give out fliers for her, but she didn't. I said to her, “If people who don't practice Falun Gong do these things, they will accumulate merit, but if you don't, then you won't obtain mighty virtue.” She just laughed. She lives very comfortably and doesn't do the three things. She reads and practices at home. I've shared with her many times to no avail. I believe her attitude is related to her attachment to dependency. If this continues it will be really dangerous.
Attachment to dependency interferes with genuine cultivation
This is particularly true of some older practitioners. When they speak, they say, “My husband said such and such...” My mother-in-law practiced Falun Gong when she was alive, but she had a strong attachment to dependency on her husband, which interfered with her genuinely cultivating herself. She passed away in 2004. He stopped practicing after the persecution began, yet she continued to listen to him regarding cultivation matters. She didn't read Minghui Weekly. Her husband read it and then she just listened to his commentary. She was attached to comfort. She later developed serious sickness karma and died.
“One must maintain a righteous mind; no one can practice cultivation for another. Only when you truly practice cultivation on your own can you upgrade your level.” (Zhuan Falun).
I hope that fellow practitioners who have an attachment to dependency can learn from the example of my mother-in-law. I hope that they can study the Fa more, truly regard themselves as cultivators, melt into the Fa, solidly cultivate, and do the three things well. We must not slack off in the final moments of Fa-rectification.
This is my understanding. Fellow practitioners please compassionately point out anything that is incorrect.