(Minghui.org) I was enlightened by the Minghui article, “ An Analysis of Wild Thoughts Stemming from Emotion ,” and I'd like to share some of my own thoughts and insights. I realized that the “Prince Charming” I had fantasized about and could not let go of stemmed from my attachment to love between a man and a woman. When I let go of the sentimentality and the fantasies, I was able to see that the man I was fond of was a playboy.
I had created an ideal image and projected it onto him in order to satisfy my own yearnings for love. I fantasized that I was beautiful, gentle, and madly in love with him, and that we had the best love life anyone could have. Although I restrained myself from doing anything inappropriate because I'm cultivating in Falun Dafa, deep down I was reluctant and even unable to completely let go of my emotions.
The author of the article mentioned that for male cultivators, eliminating the demon of lust is key. My understanding is that female practitioners should eliminate our emotional dependence on men. Historically and generally speaking, men expect women to be submissive and dependent, and women entrust their happiness to love and familial harmony. Therefore, women are mostly satisfied as long as they find a man they can depend on and trust.
I think female practitioners should eliminate the attachment of dependency, and other human notions that derive from it, such as loneliness and weakness. Women often seek acknowledgment from men. We want to please others, to the point of compromising ourselves. This is not “forbearance,” but “cowardice” that stems from the desire to be loved. It is not wrong for a woman to want to please the man she loves. But as practitioners, we should eliminate our attachment to emotion, and cultivate a pure heart, and a will as strong as a divine being. I would also like to remind female practitioners to pay attention to their thoughts and actions, and watch for these attachments when working with male practitioners.
Sentimentality is not limited to love between a man and a woman. It also includes the emotional attachment to our parents, children, friends and family, colleagues, and fellow practitioners. Practitioners should not treat others with sentimentally. The most obvious manifestations of being trapped in emotion are hoping one's life will be full of warmth and affection, and wanting for everyone to be friendly toward one another.
In other words, one may wish that everyone around her is nice, fair, friendly, and is concerned about her welfare. It is not problematic if a practitioner just wishes that, but it could be a problem if the practitioner has this expectation, imagines that her life is filled with warmth and affection, projects her ideal images of loving relationships onto people around her, and pretends that she lives in the “ideal loving world” she created. When the other person behaves differently than the fantasy she created, she may then become broken-hearted and feel alone and dejected. Karmic relationships exist between people, and karmic issues won't change because of one's fantasy.
The saddest part is that while in a painful situation, one may still be gaining satisfaction from the attachment to emotion, and therefore, not willing to let go of it. Many women sacrifice themselves for their children, parents, and men. They have wasted their lives on sentimentality, and still feel satisfied in the end.
The yearning for love can ruin a cultivator. Human desires that cannot be discarded can destroy a practitioner. When we remove a bit of sentimentality, a bit of purity will be revealed, and a bit of true compassion will emerge. When we eliminate all of our sentimentality, we will find ourselves full of compassion. We will see the suffering of others, be kind to others, put others ahead of ourselves, and not have the selfish love of a human being.
Above is my understanding. Please kindly point out anything that is inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
