(Minghui.org) After returning home from a six-day business trip on August 5, I sat down to download Minghui Weekly and Minghui articles that I had missed while out of town.
One thing caught my attention right away. When I saw “Call for Articles for the 10th China Fahui on Minghui.org,” I knew that it was something of great importance in every Dafa disciple's cultivation journey.
This “Call for Articles” reminded me of my two failed submissions back in 2010 when the 8 th China Fahui was going on. After my first submission went unpublished, I sent in another article, hoping for better luck. Even though I never talked about my submission, deep inside I was obsessed with checking Minghui every day to see if this time my experience sharing article had been accepted.
I have to admit that I harbored some terrible thoughts at that time. I doubted if the Minghui editors were at a high enough realm to appreciate my “high-level” experience sharing. As a result, I worried that they could well pass over my submission again.
One night I had a dream in which I took a writing test and compiled a very long essay in a very short time. I had always been proud of my writing abilities, so I was greatly perturbed that the grading teacher was someone with very little education. I didn't trust he'd appreciate my essay, and, indeed, he flunked me. When I looked over the returned essay, I noticed the very first character I had written there was “fame” in bold.
After I woke up, I still felt very upset that such a low-level person dared to give me such a low mark on my perfectly constructed essay.
Then it suddenly dawned on me that Master was warning me with this dream to look within to find my omissions. I saw that my intent when I wrote an article was to show off my talents and outshine other practitioners. What a filthy heart to try to seek fame in Dafa cultivation! The fact that I looked down on the teacher in my dream indicated I was arrogant and jealous. When I was upset with the test results and held a grudge against the teacher, my attachment of hatred was fully displayed. How could a person like me with so many dirty human thoughts produce pure, worthy, and sacred articles to validate Dafa?
I began to see that I fell short when I compared myself to fellow practitioners and also realized I was far behind Master's and Dafa's requirements.
I decided to intensify Fa-study to get rid of my attachments. During the first five minutes of sending forth righteous thoughts, I specifically targeted those attachments. Moreover, I measured myself against Dafa in everything I did and worked hard to repel and disintegrate any bad thoughts the moment they popped up in my mind.
After a long period of time I was finally able to suppress those attachments, only to be met with some unexpected outcomes. Somehow I became timid and felt inferior to others. I lost confidence in myself and didn't think it was worth my effort to spend time writing articles that stood no chance of getting published on Minghui. I thought I'd rather do something else than see my submissions turned down.
So when the 9 th China Fahui was held in 2011, I didn't even bother to think about writing anything to submit to Minghui.
Later, through Fa-study, I realized I had gone to the other extreme. I wanted to read other people's experience sharing articles but did not want contribute to Minghui myself.
So, before the 20th Anniversary of Falun Dafa's Introduction to the Public in 2012, I wrote an article on behalf of all the practitioners in my village to share our stories of cultivation in the Fa-rectification process.
I had not the slightest intention of showing myself off this time. I just wanted to present what our local practitioners had done all these years. I clearly understood that the publication of my submission all depended on Master and Dafa's needs and arrangements.
Though this article wasn't published in 2012, I wasn't upset at all since I felt I did what I was supposed to do by writing the article.
As I was pondering whether or not to write another experience sharing article this spring, Minghui published the above-mentioned article I submitted last year. I was greatly inspired and soon wrote another article that got published shortly afterwards.
I have come to see from my experiences that the process of writing sharing articles is also one that tempers our hearts and improves our xinxing. Whether or not our articles get published by Minghui does not only depend on the Minghui editors, but is also under the arrangements of Master. Master is testing our xinxing at all times. We just need to do what Master requires of us. As long as we maintain righteous thoughts and actions in assisting Master with Fa-rectification, we are walking a path leading to consummation.
The above is just my personal understanding to share with everyone. Please point out anything inappropriate.
Category: Improving Oneself
