Practitioner from Xinjiang: Rectifying Myself with the Fa to Complete My Ancient Vow
(Minghui.org) I am a veteran practitioner who obtained the Fa in 1999. With Master's compassionate care, I have been walking on the cultivation way up to today, though I failed sometimes and made quite a few detours. I'd like to share some of my experiences in validating the Fa and saving sentient beings. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
1. Obtaining the Fa
I grew up in a poor Islamic minority family in a remote area. My father died when I was little and my mother was disabled. I endured a lot of tribulations in my childhood. Poverty made me think a lot even when I was in primary school. I read various books including religious books, and thus laid a good foundation for obtaining the Fa in the future, since minorities generally don't accept other religions.
My life changed during the Chinese New Year in 1999. On January 6 of the Chinese Lunar Calendar, my eldest brother came home with the book Zhuan Falun. At first I thought it was an ordinary qigong book for curing illnesses and was not interested. But I noticed my brother had changed. He had been on medication for a long time but now he was completely healthy and had given up smoking and drinking. I was amazed by the wonderfulness of Dafa. In order to let me know Dafa, he asked me to copy Zhuan Falun by hand. Because I like to practice calligraphy, I agreed.
On the day that I decided to copy the book, I had no interest in watching TV at my neighbor’s house. I just wanted to go home to copy the book. When I entered my home, I found it was very warm. Now I realize that it was because Master's law body and Dafa's compassionate energy field were present. I picked up a pen and started to write. When I finished Lunyu, I felt I had come to some realization. When I copied the second page, which said “There are not many opportunities for something like this, and I will not teach this way forever. I think that those who can listen to my lectures in person, I would say, honestly... you will realize in the future that this period of time is extremely precious.” ( Zhuan Falun) I thought I should not miss this opportunity. As I copied on, I understood the causal relationship of my hard life. I continued copying, and found that every word of the book awakened me. I understood that I had been searching for Dafa. I made up my mind to cultivate in Dafa.
Because I didn't study the Fa well at the start, nobody came to learn Dafa from me, even though I tried to spread the Fa. I had been cultivating by myself and was not diligent before July 20, 1999.
2. Validating the Fa
On July 20, 1999, the CCP started to fabricate lies and slander Dafa. After watching the slanderous news, I couldn't calm down. That night I studied the book Essentials for Further Advancement again and again. I realized it was a test to see whether I was determined to cultivate in Dafa. But I didn't know how to safeguard Dafa. I was in a remote village and didn't have contact with many people. My work unit didn't harass me. So I was still in a personal cultivation state. But as the Fa-rectification progressed, Dafa practitioners stepped out to validate the Fa in Beijing and Master published new articles, and then I understood the mission and responsibility of a Dafa disciple.
In July 2000 I went to Beijing with my eldest brother to appeal for justice for Dafa. We were arrested when I arrived at another practitioner's home. Several days later the leader from my work unit brought me back. I was illegally detained for 20 days. It was harvest season when I arrived home. The crops in my field grew very well though I didn't take care of them for almost a month. I knew that it was Master's compassionate protection. My eldest brother was fired due to his appeal in Beijing. He stayed at home and helped me with the harvest.
At the end of 2000, the persecution escalated. My boss kept coming to me, harassing me and trying to force me to write the statement to agree to give up Falun Gong. I refused. I left home at the end of November and went to the city where my eldest brother worked. I met other practitioners there and got Master's new article “Beyond the Limits of Forbearance.” I became more determined to help Master rectify the Fa.
Every day I carried a big bag of truth-clarifying materials to distribute. At night I went out with practitioners to hang up banners. Sometimes we came across risky situations. Master always gave us hints and we managed to handle them without getting into trouble. I also actively cooperated with other practitioners and encouraged practitioners to step forward. I was full of energy every day and was the picture of health. Other practitioners said that my cultivation state was very good. My employer contacted my eldest brother and tried to entice me to go back to work, but I was not interested. I stayed on and continued doing the three things to save people.
One day when I was distributing materials, a dog in an old Chinese style house came running towards me. As I shut the gate, I scraped my hand and it bled a lot. I had strong righteous thoughts that I was there to save sentient beings and it would not hurt. The pain stopped instantly. I kept distributing the materials. It was very cold in winter in the North, but I felt warm. The bleeding stopped in a short while. When I returned to the practitioner's home, I found the scrape had healed. I knelt down in front of Master's photo and said, “I will help Master rectify the Fa, save sentient beings and return home with Master.” That night Master purified my body. I vomited terribly and had bad diarrhea, but I was fine the next day. Dafa revealed its miracles when my thought of saving sentient beings was aligned with the requirements of Dafa. Master said that before July 20, 1999, he had elevated us to the position where we belonged.
Because I didn't study the Fa with a calm mind and became preoccupied with just “doing things” to clarify the truth, the evil took advantage of my loopholes. After the 2001 New Year when I was distributing materials, I was reported to the police and taken to the detention center. The next day, the guard had the cell leader read newspaper articles aloud that slandered Dafa and Master. I was very upset. I couldn't bear them cursing Master with horrible language. The other practitioners were in agony as well. I suddenly remembered Master's words: “Forbearance (ren) is not cowardice, much less is it resigning oneself to adversity” (from “Beyond the Limits of Forbearance”) A strong force pushed me up. I looked the cell leader straight in the eyes and went over to her. She was frightened and stepped back. She stopped reading. I knew that it was the evils that were frightened. I grabbed the newspaper and tore it into pieces.
I didn't cooperate and demanded my immediate release. They put handcuffs and shackles on me for 40 days. I was not able to eat or go to the toilet without the help of other practitioners. The guard stopped interrogating me when they found that I wouldn't say anything about giving up Falun Gong. I didn't know how to clarify the truth then. I only told them how good Falun Dafa is. I recited Master's articles every day to reinforce my righteous thoughts. Since I didn't fundamentally negate the persecution of the old forces, I was sentenced to two years of forced labor.
3. Returning to Cultivation and Catching Up Diligently
During the lonely long days in the forced labor camp, I reflected again on all the sadness of life and the tribulations I had come across. I regretted that I hadn't studied the Fa well and failed to truly cultivated my xinxing. I did things out of enthusiasm. The courage I had previously in validating the Fa wore down bit by bit over time in the labor camp. Master said:
“When I teach the Fa infrequently though, what worries me most is not the hardships or ordeals you face, which you know to be plenty hard. They are not the hardest thing; after all, however trying hardship may be, it's over after you get through it, and at that point things are clear to you. Rather, to quietly cultivate in bleak loneliness, unable to see hope, is the hardest of all.”
I did pass the test of life and death, but I lost my way and took a detour in cultivation due to my human attachments.
In the several years after I was released from the forced labor camp, I went through ups and downs and eventually lost my righteous thoughts and gave up cultivation and validating the Fa. My heart ached. I struggled with worldly affairs seeking fame and personal interests and was entangled in qing (sentiment). In a dream I saw the buildings in my city topple and the dying pedestrians asking for my help. My knowing side was crying and woke me up. They were the beings in my celestial world asking for my help to survive the weeding out process.
I felt I was threatened by an unknown force. Its manifestation in this dimension was that I felt very sick, financially bankrupt, and crossed in love. In despair I thought of Dafa and begged Master to save me.
In March 2009 Master arranged an opportunity for me to come back to Dafa. I ran into a practitioner who was with me in the forced labor camp. She asked me to come home with her to chat. I readily agreed. I was overwhelmed when I arrived at her home. There were Dafa things everywhere: calendars, computers, materials, and Dafa books, and Master's photo was on the wall. I was very excited. I hadn't seen such things for several years because I was distracted and surrounded by wavering practitioners and those who had enlightened on the evil path.
Before I could grasp it all, this practitioner started to play the 2009 Shen Yun DVD for me. The Shen Yun programs awakened me deeply. My life came back. Tears poured down my cheeks nonstop. I held the precious book Zhuan Falun and looked at Master's photo. I stayed at the practitioner's home that night. In my dream I felt bad things were taken away from my body. The next day I was in good spirits and my body felt very light. It was Master who removed the bad things from my body. I don't know how to repay Master. I brought Dafa books home.
At first, thought karma caused bad interference, and I was not able to study the Fa with a clear mind. I asked Master for help and sent forth righteous thoughts to clear the interference. When I finished reading Master's lectures, I understood completely the Fa principles of Master rectifying the Fa and what the old forces were. I realized why I had enlightened on the evil's path: I hadn't studied the Fa solidly and was not clear about the Fa principles.
In 2009 I quit almost all ordinary work. I spent every minute studying the Fa. Once again I felt a sense of mission to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. I started to clarify the truth, distribute materials, Shen Yun DVDs, Nine Commentaries , and other DVDs. I took the DVDs with me. Whenever I met friends in shops or on buses, I gave them DVDs and materials. When I felt like I was not able to clarify the truth effectively, I gave them DVDs. Master encouraged me by bringing predestined people to me. People would come talk to me and then withdraw from the CCP once I clarified the truth to them. As long as we have the heart to save sentient beings, Master will bring the predestined people. Studying the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts before I went out to validate the Fa made everything go smoothly.
I left the countryside and went back to the city where I lived before. I wanted to help former practitioners, because I knew how painful it was to drift away from the Fa. Master knew my wish and arranged many opportunities for me to meet those practitioners. Most of the practitioners I met returned to cultivation. I sent them Dafa books that I got from the material centers. They passed the books around, and many practitioners had Dafa books. In the winter of 2010 I went back to my hometown to clarify the truth. I was afraid that people in the country would not accept it if I didn't do well, but I immediately negated this limiting thought.
Regardless of how I had been, I was now a practitioner coming to save sentient beings. I grew up in that area so I had the responsibility to save them. I went from door to door to clarify the truth and gave out DVDs and amulets. Most people accepted them. Occasionally I was reported to the police due to my lack of righteous thoughts. But with Master's help and my righteous thoughts, things were resolved smoothly.
One day I was in a shop. I clarified the truth to the people there and gave out materials. Several people withdrew from the CCP. Suddenly one man I knew grabbed my materials and tried to take me to the police station. He told the shop manager to call the police. I was not scared. I stared at the man who was shouting with angry eyes. I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear the evil elements behind him. I told him about the principle of “good will be rewarded and evil punished.” In my heart, I asked Master for help. Then the shop manager and the other customers scolded the man and told him to return the materials to me. He unclenched his hands and left in shame. I felt happy for those people who supported the righteous and thus were saved.
I still haven't been to the villages near mine to clarify the truth to the people there. We have many minority people and I don't know how I can clarify the truth to them better. I only talked about the persecution and the wicked history of the CCP. They agreed with me. I didn't talk about belief. I realize that in the Darma-ending period, people of other religions are difficult to save because their religion controls their minds and makes them difficult to save.
As the Fa-rectification has neared its end, I was pushed into the position of a coordinator. More and more practitioners in my city and more practitioners in the villages that I didn't know stepped forward. Many practitioners who had given up came back to cultivation. Practitioners who had become slack were now stepping forward and catching up. There was no material production site in my city after the original site was sabotaged. In 2012 I assumed the responsibility of transporting Dafa books and materials from other places to our city. Master arranged several local practitioners to coordinate with me so that practitioners in our city could elevate as a whole. We were not able to get Master's lectures and articles published in later years. It was not easy for us to get Dafa books either. I delivered Dafa books and Master's new articles to practitioners under Master's endless protection.
With the help of practitioners from another city, I learned how to log onto the Internet, how to download Minghui Weekly, how to burn DVDs, how to print truth-clarifying notes, and how to make materials. So I set up a material production site in my home, finally becoming a “small flower” among countless other truth-clarification production sites throughout the nation. In the process, I cultivated away most of the fear. As I assumed more and more projects, I spent less and less time studying the Fa and my attachments and human heart were exposed more and more. Local practitioners then shared some of the workload, but the more practitioners that came back to cultivation, the more I had to worry about.
When practitioners required something, I had to provide it. If I didn't have it, I then went elsewhere to get it. I was busy all day every day going from the city to the villages. I was not able to study the Fa with a calm mind. I felt very tired. I didn't do the coordination work well and had conflicts with other practitioners. I didn't look inward and complained, jealous and with grievances. Conflicts thus deepened. Practitioners pointed fingers at each other. Because my cultivation state was very poor, practitioners from other cities asked me to stop my work and study the Fa solidly and cultivate myself.
I dug deep down and found my attachments of lust and desire and competitiveness and also the heart to make it up by doing more things. I tried to get rid of those attachments and adjust myself. Master said:
“After doing a whole slew of things, you might find, if you look back upon them, that all of it was done with a human mindset. When it is a human being doing human things, and things are not being done with righteous thoughts, there won’t be any Dafa-disciple mighty virtue in those things. In other words, as gods see it, that’s just fooling around—not mighty virtue, or cultivation—even though you did do it. Then wouldn’t you say it was done in vain? You must study the Fa well, for that is the fundamental guarantee that you return to your position.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
Looking back at the cultivation path I have walked over the past 10 years, I have not been looking within or done my best to get rid of attachments. I have been busy doing things, reflecting my attachment for seeking fame. Master said:
“For cultivators traveling a divine path, is it really that hard to get rid of those attachments that arise from human thinking and to change those notions? If a cultivator doesn't want to get rid of even those things, well, how is he to show that he's a cultivator?” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be”)
Reading this, I cried. Master has lifted me out of hell, purified me, and arranged opportunities for me to catch up again and again so that I can complete my pre-historic vow. But I was unwilling to let go of my filthy human heart and fundamental attachments. Even though I had done so many things, I was not a genuine cultivator.
Fa-rectification has come to this stage, yet I didn't realize the importance of measuring myself according to the Fa principles when doing things in everyday life and in doing Dafa things. I am not worthy of Master's compassionate saving mercy. I will cultivate diligently and complete the last leg of the path well.
This is my first experience sharing article. I encountered a lot of interference when I was writing it. Thought karma and bad notions made me unable to write the article with a calm mind. I looked within and tried to dig out my attachments. Eventually I finished. I hope that practitioners like me who have taken a detour in cultivation will pay serious attention to cultivating themselves, getting rid of the selfish human heart and urgently saving sentient beings. I know that I am far behind Master's requirements. Compared with those practitioners who are solidly walking on the path of validating the Fa, I have done too little. Completing this article, I will do whatever I should do on the last leg of the path, cultivate myself well, harmonize the whole body, follow Master to the end of the Fa-rectification, complete my vow, and return home with Master.