(Minghui.org) I am a 35-year-old Dafa practitioner. I have been practicing Dafa for the past 14 years, since the beginning of 1999. In my day-to-day life, through constant Fa study and cultivation, I have become more and more determined in my cultivation, and I’m walking more steadily on this path to divinity.
1. I Am Here to Cultivate, Not to Be Persecuted by the Evil Party
I first came in contact with Zhuan Falun in 1997. At the time, I was 19 years old and was working in Beijing. As my parents had already started practicing Dafa, my mother gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun to take with me and read when I had spare time. However, I didn’t do so at all.
At that time I often had very severe menstrual cramps. But after I started working in Beijing, the menstrual cramps stopped. Later, I realized that this was because I had been carrying Zhuan Falun . Master was already looking after me even before I had started cultivating, and my body had already begun to be purified.
In the spring of 1999, I stopped traveling outside of my town to work. Only then did I truly start cultivating. I studied the Fa and did the exercises with my parents, and I would sometimes accompany them to promote the practice.
A few months after I started practicing Dafa, the persecution began. I thought, “This Fa is so good, but the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) doesn’t allow people to practice it; those who do are sent to labor camps and charged in court. The party is so evil.” At that time I naively believed that perhaps the party didn’t understand Dafa. But nobody could stop me from practicing Dafa. As such, I never gave up cultivation, and I continued to practice Dafa diligently. At the same time, I clarified the truth about Dafa to my friends.
Through constant Fa study, I realized that we Dafa disciples have come with a mission. Not only must we cultivate ourselves, we must also rectify the Fa and save people whose minds have been poisoned by the evil CCP’s lies.
I have the singular, strong thought that I am here to cultivate and to help Master in Fa-rectification. I am not here to be persecuted by the CCP. As long as I do things righteously, and my heart is righteous, the evil cannot touch me. Master is looking after me, and no one other than Master is allowed to decide my path.
From 1999 to 2002 I simply cultivated a faith in Master and the Fa. Of course, there are many levels to this faith. With constant cultivation, this faith will become stronger. If one isn’t diligent, this faith will get weaker and weaker. One cannot be passive in one’s cultivation.
2. How I Faced My Child’s Illness Karma
I got married in February 2003, thereby starting a new chapter in my life and making a new breakthrough in my cultivation. The next year in March, I gave birth to a baby boy. My son followed me in studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I memorized Hong Yin and sang Dafa songs with him every day.
My son had to overcome illness karma multiple times. Because we still had an emotional attachment to him, we wavered in our resoluteness when he was overcoming illness karma. Yet I have witnessed Dafa’s greatness in my son time and again. These incidents further reinforced my faith that the path I am taking is the best and most righteous.
When my son was one year old, he had a high fever. Nevertheless, I steadfastly believed in what Master said, “When one person obtains the Fa, the whole family will benefit.” (“Teaching the Fa and Answering Questions in Jinan”) and, “Broadly shines a Buddha’s light, setting everything right.” (Falun Gong)
My son is a young Dafa disciple, and Master will definitely look after him. I played Master’s lectures to him, read Zhuan Falun to him, and recited Hong Yin to him. I also sent righteous thoughts for him, even when I was lying down next to him. My son recovered without needing any injections or medication. I recall that Master said,
“... if you are a determined Dafa cultivator, you will understand that each person has his own destiny, and problems that are not supposed to happen won’t be allowed to just happen.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia”)
Once, my son’s face became very swollen. His maternal grandmother (who was not yet a practitioner) insisted on taking him to the hospital. I said, “There’s no need to go [to the hospital]. Master is looking after [him]. If he recovers, you should be convinced that Falun Dafa is the true Buddha Fa.” I noticed that, whenever my heart wavered, my son’s face would become even more swollen. But when my heart was steady, he would get better. Dafa targets our human attachments; in any situation, everything depends on where we place our hearts.
My son started going to pre-school when he was three years old. All the other children in the kindergarten frequently got sick, but my son did not even fall sick once in his three years of attending pre-school. Most of the teachers in his pre-schoool understand the truth about Dafa and have renounced their memberships to the Chinese Communist Party.
Once, while I was sending righteous thoughts at 6 p.m., my son – who was playing by himself – spilled some boiling water on his legs. He cried very loudly. I said to my son, “Let Mama play Master’s lectures for you to listen.” I placed him on the bed and set up the radio. Before I even started playing the lectures, my son suddenly said, “Mama, my legs no longer hurt.” I put my two hands together tightly, and in my heart I silently said again and again, “Thank you Master; Thank you Master.”
I had to undergo several trials that involved my son’s health. I always recalled Master’s words, “When your family or friends are suffering, are you affected inside?” (Zhuan Falun) Sometimes, when I saw that my son was in a lot of discomfort, I got anxious as well. But I knew that Master was watching over him; so I was not afraid. I believe in Falun Dafa. By having steadfast faith in Master and the Fa, there are no tribulations that we cannot overcome.
My son is now nine years old. He has been in excellent health and never falls ill. I know that this was given to him by Master.
3. Overcoming the Test of Emotion Over My Husband's Wrongdoing
My husband loves to play mahjong. Whenever he has free time at home, apart from eating and sleeping, he goes to the mahjong parlor and stays there for 8-9 hours at a go. There was no way to control his behavior, and I shed countless tears in the process.
Gradually, I calmed down and realized that I was being too attached. That is just the way he is; so why am I so insistent on changing him? I am here to cultivate, not to lead an ordinary person’s life. I began learning to let things go. While he continued to indulge in mahjong, I continued to study the Fa. I no longer cared when he didn’t come home, and I just focused on studying the Fa. As such, I no longer got angry when he went to play mahjong.
I feel that cultivation is really good. If I had not been studying the Fa, I would not have been able to get through this tough time. Not only must I not be angry with my husband, I must also save him. I would find chances to tell him (when he did something wrong) that, “I have learned not to get angry and the reason is because I am practicing Dafa. My Master teaches me to be a good person and to view all people and situations with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. You must understand that Dafa is good.” On a regular basis, I would also play songs composed by Dafa disciples and play the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party at home, from which he benefited a lot.
That year, Master’s video lecture “Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners” was released. I watched it often, and my tears welled up as I watched it to the end. I always recall Master’s benevolent expression. When Master put down the microphone and then picked it up again, I understood that “one must put down human things to gain divine things.”
After some years of cultivation, my emotional attachment to my husband became less. Despite the fact that he loved to play mahjong, we still had a fairly good relationship during the few years after we married. But after our son turned three, he became increasingly cold towards me and spent very little time at home. There was one night when he didn’t return home at all. When I questioned him about it, he used all sorts of excuses to fend me off; so I stopped questioning him. I didn’t think further about the matter. It wasn’t until the time when he didn’t return home for three days and three nights – and I couldn’t contact him as his cellphone was switched off -- that I realized something was wrong. As a Dafa disciple, I was wondering what I should do? Master’s Fa sprang into my mind:
“For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I told myself: “You are a Dafa practitioner; not only must you cultivate yourself well, you must also save sentient beings. No matter what happens, you must not get a divorce.” The paths that Dafa disciples take today will serve as a reference for the people of the future. All my relatives and good friends know that I practice Dafa. If I get divorced, wouldn’t I be bringing disgrace to Dafa? Saving people is already difficult enough; if I cause them to have an even greater misunderstanding of Dafa, wouldn’t I have become a sinner? If I consider things based on the Fa, this situation is a result of our karmic relationship. It arose from my own karma, and it is even more so to help me get rid of my attachment to lust. I knew that my attachment to emotions and desire was strong, and my emotional attachment to my husband was strong as well. The old forces had exploited this loophole and wanted to destroy both him and me.
I had to manage the situation with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance that Dafa taught me. So I decided to practice Forbearance. I recalled what Master said,
“Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I behaved like nothing was wrong and carried on with my daily activities: keeping the house clean, taking good care of my son, and studying the Fa more diligently.
On the fourth day my husband returned home. I didn’t question him further, as I knew he was also suffering. I kept Master’s Fa close to my heart: “... just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” in Essentials for Further Advancement II) I believed that the truth would be revealed at the right time. During those days my mind was very clear, but my heart was aching badly. I knew that if I wanted to walk this cultivation path well, I must also bear this suffering.
Not long afterwards, there was a night when his phone didn’t stop ringing. He didn’t answer it, and I knew that he didn’t dare to answer it in front of me. I said, “Let me answer it for you.” He agreed. When I answered the phone, it was a lady on the line. The lady said that she would not speak to me and would only speak to my husband. I passed the phone to him, and he angrily hung up the phone. As we sat facing each other on the sofa, I calmly said to him, “Now that things have come to this, you shouldn’t try to hide things from me anymore. Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?” Seeing that I wasn’t making a scene or reproaching him, my husband became more trusting and open. He said, “As long as you stop studying the Fa, I’ll also stop playing mahjong. We’ll have a good life together, and I’ll commit myself to earning money for our family.”
Without much thought, I said, “I study the Fa and am a good person, and this doesn't interfere with our relationship. If you really feel that living together is unbearable, I will agree to a divorce. This Fa is so good, I’m going to practice it for life.”
At that moment, I felt like a nuclear bomb had gone off in my body. It was a sudden, single explosion which I really, truly experienced. During my past several years of cultivation, I had not been able to see anything with my tianmu, so whenever I did the right thing I would feel a warmth spreading throughout my body. I would never ever forget the feeling on that day, and I knew that at that moment I had done the right thing.
I’ll never regret my choice, as being able to cultivate is my greatest fortune. All the fame, material gain, and emotions in this world, including my family and son, cannot become excuses for me to stop cultivating. In actuality, Master doesn’t want us to abandon our family after we start cultivating. It’s not like that. Conversely, Master wants us to be a good person in any situation. We must be filial to our parents, raise our children well, and treat everyone with compassion. The only thing is that, in the process, we must cultivate our hearts and not be controlled by emotion.
I had truly let go of my attachment to self and no longer thought about what was going to happen to me. I thought, I’ll willingly bring myself to take on this suffering; I’ll also be able to eliminate karma in the process; so it’s a great thing. With that thought, I felt as though a load had been lifted from my heart. Friends who had not seen me for some time commented that I had become prettier. I did not alarm my parents or parents-in-law, as I didn’t want to bother them unnecessarily.
I told my husband that a husband and wife relationship was a divine arrangement, with their life events planned together. So we shouldn’t destroy our relationship and our family on a whim. We shouldn’t cause additional problems for our parents, and we also have to be responsible to our son. We need to act responsibly. Subsequently, I learned that my husband had been seeing this lady for the past two years. This lady was only 21 years old, but she insisted on marrying him and had been pressuring him to get a divorce. He, on the other hand, was at a loss as to what to do. I said, “I don’t want to force you into any decision; you should make your own choice. Take responsibility for your own life.”
My husband truly felt my tolerance, patience, and sincere consideration for his situation. As such, he broke off contact with this lady. But the lady did not give up, and kept looking for him. He began avoiding her. One morning, when he again received another phone call from the lady, I knew that he could no longer resolve his situation. I said, “Avoiding her isn’t going to fix the problem. Let’s meet her and clarify things with her. We should at least give her a proper explanation, and we can also bring our son along.”
I felt that I could no longer be distracted by this issue, as I still had my own mission to fulfill. Perhaps this occurred due to fate, and perhaps in my countless past lives, I had hurt her before. In that case, we should benevolently resolve this karmic debt with Dafa.
As such, the two of us and our son went to meet this lady. The meeting place was at her friend’s home, and this lady was accompanied by her two friends. They were somewhat taken aback by my presence, but young people nowadays hardly feel embarrassed for long. I sat down calmly. Yet once we were settled, my husband remained completely silent.
Now I had to take the leading role! The lady’s friends asked me for my opinion on the matter. I did not reply to them directly, but first told them that I was a Falun Dafa practitioner, and then I clarified the truth about Dafa and the goodness of Dafa. I told them how my Master taught me to conduct myself with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and I told them about the Tuidang movement. Both of the lady’s friends quit the evil CCP, and she herself agreed to quit the Youth League. Suddenly, I realized the reason why I came today. As for the initial reason for our meeting, it no longer seemed to be of any importance. The lady’s friends were very respectful towards me. They praised me for being a good person, with a generous and tolerant heart. I told them that this was due to the guidance of my Master. Subsequently, the matter of the affair resolved itself without any further discussion.
After writing this experience, I just want to thank Master and sing praises of Dafa. I am thankful to Dafa for giving me a generous and forbearing heart. After going through that unforgettably difficult period, I made a huge leap forward in my cultivation, and I overcame a great tribulation in human emotion. Master said,
“In any case, a cultivator must look at things as a cultivator should and with the mind of a cultivator, and absolutely cannot look at things with the mind of an ordinary person. Nothing you encounter is simple, accidental, or an ordinary thing. It must have to do with your cultivation and your improvement. Because you are a cultivator, your life path has been changed, and you have been given a new cultivation path; nothing on your path happens by chance. But it will definitely appear to be by chance, because only in this delusion and in a state where you are the same as ordinary people can you show whether you are cultivating, whether you cultivate well, and whether you are able to pass test after test. That is cultivation, and that is righteous enlightenment!” (“Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)
Over the past few years, my husband has not played much mahjong. He wholeheartedly spends his energy on advancing his career, and he has become more caring towards my son and me. Later, when I set up a truth-clarification materials production site at home, my husband did not object, and sometimes he even helps me to purchase printing materials.
Finally, let us review a paragraph from Master’s lecture, “Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference”,
“No matter how much I say, you still have to walk the path of cultivation yourselves. To walk this path well and progress to its end--nothing is more extraordinary. I say that because during the journey you will have hardships, tests of every sort, unforeseen ordeals, and you will have unexpected interference from all kinds of attachments and emotion. The interference will come from family, society, good friends, and even fellow cultivators. And along with this there is interference from changes in the state of human society and from human notions that were formed in society. All of those things can drag you back to being like an ordinary person. But if you can break through all of it, you can advance towards godhood. So as a cultivator, what is truly remarkable is when you can be steadfast and have righteous thoughts so firm that nothing can sway you. Be solid and firm like diamond, or granite, and then nothing can affect you--evil will be afraid at the mere sight of you. If upon encountering trying circumstances your thinking can be truly righteous, then, when faced with the evil's persecution and when faced with interference, just one sentence of yours fortified with steadfast righteous thoughts can instantly make the evil disintegrate (applause), and it will make those who are being used by the evil turn and flee, it will make the evil's persecution of you dissolve, and it will make the evil's interfering with you disappear without a trace. One thought born of righteous faith is all it takes. And whoever can hold firm that righteous thought and go the distance will become a magnificent god forged by Dafa.”
Category: Improving Oneself
