How I Improved My Xinxing While Producing Truth-Clarification Materials
(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in February 1998. However, after the persecution began on July 20, 1999, my cultivation state became unstable for a long time. The tribulations in my family seemed endless, and I felt helpless. I knew deeply in my heart that I must hurry up and raise my cultivation level. I wanted to be diligent but simply couldn't.
I later joined a Fa-study group and therefore had a cultivation environment in which to improve. I observed that the practitioners in their seventies or eighties were very aware of the sacredness of what they were doing when they produced truth-clarification materials. They shared their experiences and understanding on clarifying the truth and persuading people to quit the Party. I was moved, and my heart was deeply touched. I realized that I could no longer just sit there doing nothing. I felt ashamed of myself for being inactive and relying on others.
I wanted to establish a materials production site in my home. Another practitioner helped me order a printer and CD/DVD duplicator. For me, printing informational materials is truly a process for looking inward and cultivating myself. Sometimes when I became very confident about the production, the printer would start having problems. For example, the ink tubes of a new printer leaked. I cleaned them many times but it didn't help, and I had to send the printer for repair. But when I got it back, the same problem happened again. I became worried and realized I had the attachment of doing things and going into a panic.
Suddenly I remembered a sentence from a practitioner's sharing article, “Fix your xinxing first before fixing the machine,” which awakened me. I recalled that I left the printer in a practitioner's car overnight because I didn't want to bring it home when my husband was there, since I was afraid of upsetting him. It was a very cold winter night. How could I accomplish righteous things with such an impure heart?
The constantly leaking ink tube was hint that I had a loophole. I corrected myself, as I wanted to help Master rectify the Fa in a dignified and righteous way. Shortly after I had this thought, the leaking stopped.
I produced many kinds of materials. Once while I was printing box covers for Shen Yun DVDs, I was having a conflict with my mother who is also a practitioner. I was arguing with her rudely. When I looked at the printer I was shocked. The print was fine a moment before but now it suddenly had a pink tint. I checked the printer and saw that the yellow cartridge was clogged.
I asked another practitioner about the printing problem the next day. She said, “Look inward. Did you forget to be compassionate?” After I came home, I apologized to my mother, and the printer was fine again. However, I didn't maintain my xinxing and soon argued with her again. At that moment, the printer made a strange sound and stopped working. I felt that Master was giving me a heavy “stick warning,” and I woke up.
Another practitioner once helped me set up all the printer settings, and it worked great. However, after the practitioner left, the printing was smaller than it should have been. I realized that I should increase the capacity of my heart, but I didn't look within any further. I realize now that it wasn't a coincidence that the printer broke again when I had a conflict with my mother. I knew it was time to really resolve the problems between my mother and me.
For a long time, I kept judging my mother with the Fa but didn't look within myself. I always blamed her that she did this wrong or hadn't done that well. In time, a kind of substance formed between us and separated us. Each time a conflict occurred, I didn't improve my xinxing and simply tried to avoid facing it.
My mother was going back overseas in less than a month. I understood that Master had arranged for my mother to come to China this time so that we could pass this xinxing test and improve together. Master had already given me several hints, but I didn't wake up until now. Master had used the printer problems to help me improve. In my heart I said, “Master, I was wrong. I was wrong. I'll look inward and cultivate myself. I will increase the capacity of my heart and eliminate the bad substances and notions. I'll stop being impatient with my mother, eliminate the mentality of looking down on others, being opinionated, the competitive mentality, etc. I need to be more calm and compassionate. I will cherish this time with my mother and upgrade my xinxing level with her.” The printer immediately began working again.
Once when I was printing the covers for the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party DVD, the color developed a red tint. I wondered why. The Nine Commentaries exposes the true nature of the evil Party. Did it mean that there was still evil Party substances hidden in my dimensional field? What could it be?
I looked around my room and found a coin collection set on top of the bookshelf. The coins had a former CCP leader's image on them. My daughter, who is also a practitioner, and I defaced the images and then crushed the coins. Afterwards, we threw them into a sewage ditch. We asked Master to strengthen us and make it rain hard that night, so the water would flush them away. Soon after we returned home, thunder and lightning began. And it rained very heavily until the next morning. We appreciated Master so much for strengthening us. The evil beings were eliminated and the dimensional field was clear in my home. When I printed the Nine Commentaries cover again, the color was normal.
Sometimes it takes me a while to understand the issues. For example, on one occasion the printer's black cartridge became clogged, but the color cartridges were fine. At first I didn't know what I supposed to enlighten to, and sending forth righteous thoughts didn't help. I asked Master for help, “Master, your disciple is doing the most righteous thing. Why are there so many troubles and interference? Please solve the problem for me.” At that moment, I remembered a few sentences in Zhuan Falun,
“Some people often do not understand these issues. When a person’s Celestial Eye is open and sees a Buddha, he will go home and worship the Buddha, praying in his mind, "Why don’t you help me out? Please solve this problem for me." That Buddha, of course, will not do anything for this person because that problem is arranged by the Buddha, intending to improve his xinxing and upgrade him by way of the tribulation. How can the Buddha take care of the problem for you? He will not solve the problem for you at all. How can you increase your gong and upgrade your xinxing and level if he solves your problem? The key is to increase your gong.” (Zhuan Falun)
The Fa awakened me. I corrected my mentality and looked inward. I realized that I had a hidden attachment to eroticism and lust. My family always watches TV when we eat supper, but I usually don't watch it. But recently I had begun enjoying watching the actors on television and even made comments on who was beautiful and who was handsome. Unknowingly, I was having lustful thoughts. How serious cultivation is! After I realized this attachment, I send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it, and I haven't watched television since. Afterwards the printer stopped having problems. I understood that Master knew I needed to raise my level, and kept using the printer problems to help me cultivate so that I would look inward and upgrade.
Although I haven't been producing materials for very long, I've been given many opportunities to improve, and I've changed a lot. Of course I've stumbled, and there have been many unforgettable lessons. Every step of improvement in my cultivation was tied to Master's compassion and effort. Master said,
“As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how one goes through cultivation practice.” (Zhuan Falun)
Master's boundless compassion and effort has already paved my cultivation path.
This is my experience of improving my xinxing while producing materials. Master used the printer problems to help me look inward, and I wanted to share my story with fellow practitioners.
Please compassionately point out anything inappropriate. I deeply appreciate Master's benevolent salvation.