(Minghui.org) I first attended Master's lecture in early July 1993 and then another two lectures in 1994. I am 74 years old and have been cultivating in Falun Dafa for 20 years.
When I started practicing, I felt very calm and comfortable. I studied Master's lectures, did the exercises and cultivated my xinxing diligently. I was immersed in the Fa and actively spread the Fa. I bought tickets to Master's lectures for many of my colleagues and encouraged them to practice Falun Gong.
I went to the countryside to play videos of Master's lectures for the villagers there. In some villages, there was no TV set or video player, so I took my own. Some people had financial difficulties, so I gave Dafa books to them for free. I delivered Master's new articles to practitioners even though I had to ride dozens of miles by bicycle with another practitioner. We didn't feel tired after the long trip, even when we skipped lunch. Sometimes I organized practitioners from several practice sites to go to the countryside to spread the Fa so that the villagers there could also have the opportunity to obtain the Fa.
Constant harassment from the authorities
Even before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) openly persecuted Falun Gong in 1999, the authorities had already started to harass practitioners using base means. Two agents came to our practice site in 1998. One of them in police uniform was from the nearby district. He tried to imply that he was pious and asked me many questions. He always wanted to visit my house whenever he talked to me. I didn't think he was a practitioner and so I refused him.
One woman in her forties tried to impress me by using religious references and often asked for a video of Master's lectures given overseas. She also wanted to visit my home. One day she knocked on the door, but I didn't open it and asked why she came. She said that she wanted to watch Master's video lectures. After I said no to her, I heard a man tell her: “You see she is suspicious of you. She sees through you.” In such an environment, I tried my best to safeguard the Fa.
At the beginning of the persecution in July 1999, the CCP adopted their usual means of lies and propaganda to incite hatred against Master and Falun Gong. Unfortunately, many people believed in the lies. I felt very sad in my heart about the CCP's slander and knew that I should uphold the dignity of Dafa. So I began to tell people about Falun Gong and the persecution.
Officials from the 610 Office, police department, local police station, my work unit and the community committee constantly threatened, harassed and followed me everyday.
Officers from the local police department confiscated my computer, TV, cash, video player and other personal belongings. They shouted at me to hand in my Falun Gong materials, and then one of them said: “Your Falun Gong people will go to Jingshan in Beijing to start a riot and then commit suicide collectively.” I clarified the facts to them and told them: “Our Master said that it is a sin to commit suicide. A genuine practitioner would never commit suicide.”
One day the police made an unexpected visit to my home, and asked, “Are you going to have another gathering?” I asked them seriously: “The Communist Party says that you seek the truth from facts. Do you ever actually do that? Why do you always fabricate stories about Falun Gong?” People from my work unit tried to force me to write a so-called “thought report.” But I told them that I would withdraw from the Party if they forced me to write it.
My home phone was tapped, and one day four police came to my home and asked me why my phone was disconnected. I told them that it was none of their business. They didn't say anything, pushed past me, and searched around the house. After they left, I checked every corner of my home to make sure that they didn't leave any spying devices.
Opposing the persecution with righteous thoughts
When Master asked us to send forth righteous thoughts to clear away the old force elements, I felt a kind of relief that I could actively do something and try to stop the persecution. I was persecuted during the Cultural Revolution, and had developed a strong hatred in my heart towards the CCP. When I sent forth righteous thoughts, I wanted to eliminate the old forces all at once, with hatred in my mind. I was not rational and thought the persecution was staged by beings on this earth. So every time I sent forth righteous thoughts, it was with strong hatred and resentment against those who tortured practitioners. I didn't have any compassion.
I realize now that I had the attitude of “an eye for an eye” and was not clear about the old force elements that manipulate those that persecute practitioners. Master said:
“What could human beings possibly do to gods? If there were no outside factors, would humans dare to do anything to gods?”(“In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human”)
Through consistent Fa study and cultivating diligently, I became more and more clear about the purpose of sending forth righteous thoughts and our mission.
Validating the Fa
After the persecution started, practitioners in my family and I printed a big bag of truth clarification materials. We addressed each envelope and cycled out to post them. We put several letters in each mail box on the street. Every time I went out to distribute materials, I was afraid that I may be caught by the police. One day I distributed materials starting on the 7 th floor of an apartment building, working my way down. When I got to the 2 nd floor, I met an acquaintance. I greeted him calmly and he was not suspicious about my being there at all. My fear then slowly started to disappear.
Though I had fear, I always remembered that I am a practitioner. I would save sentient beings using the wisdom I gained from Dafa. When I went to distribute materials in an unfamiliar place, I would get myself familiarized with the streets beforehand, where to enter and where to exit. Sometimes I rode to the river bank and put materials in the fishermen's bike baskets. I found out that the bus stops were good places to clarify the facts because people there had time while waiting for the bus.
As I improved in cultivation, I realized that I had the thought of differentiating between people, based on their appearance. If they looked good to me, I then clarified the facts to them. One day a person with a squint in their eye and another person with a skin condition asked me for directions, so I explained the route to them and let them go. I didn't even remember to clarify the facts to them. I regretted that a lot afterward. They were predestined people that Master had arranged to be saved, but I ruined their opportunity.
Master said:
“Saving people is just that, saving people, and to pick and choose would not be merciful.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference”)
I learned lessons from these occasions, and became stricter with my thoughts and notions when clarifying the facts to people. I became more diligent on my path of cultivation.
Master said:
“And this is the reason Dafa disciples are to clarify the truth. The goal is to get rid of the evil’s lies, to enable people to see the CCP’s true face, to clear away the sins committed by people against Gods and Buddhas, and to thereby save the world’s people.” (“The Ultimate Objective of Clarifying the Truth” )
When talking to people about Falun Gong, I let them clearly know the situation so that they can be truly saved. Most people withdrew from the CCP after I talked to them.
I tried to clarify the facts to one of my relatives several times, but he still didn't believe what I had to say. He had strong atheistic thoughts and said that I was “anti-communist”, and that he was going to report me to the police. I was not moved. I looked inwards and realized that because I didn't cultivate well, I was unable to eliminate the old force elements preventing him from being saved.
What I have learned over the past 20 years
With Master's compassionate protection, I have been very determined in cultivation during the past 20 years. From the Fa, I know that I have to regard myself as a practitioner all the time, think of myself as a practitioner, have the Fa in my mind all the time, and do everything based on the principles of Dafa. I should not get lost in the human maze or lower my requirements. When I have improved my xinxing and done things correctly, it is because Master is looking after us. When I do things wrong, it is because I didn't study the Fa well and my notions prevented me from improving. I know that I still have a lot of attachments. But we have Master and the Fa. I will cultivate diligently, improve myself by looking inward and try to reach the standard that Master has set for us.
Category: Improving Oneself
