Falun Gong Pulled Me Out of a Dark Place
(Minghui.org) I read Zhuan Falun, Falun Gong's main study text, for the first time on July 13, 1999. The Chinese regime announced its decision to ban Falun Gong a week later, followed by a series of false reports from its state-run media around the clock. This slandering was used to justify its suppression of Falun Gong, and to incite Chinese people's resentment of it.
I told my family how wonderful I felt ever since I read Zhuan Falun. Now the Chinese regime had outlawed Falun Gong. One of my family members made a sarcastic comment, “Brilliant. You think Falun Gong is good and now they want to ban it.”
I was very upset when I watched the slandering propaganda that was being played on all the news stations. Falun Gong teaches the opposite of all the horrible things the media claimed Falun Gong taught its followers. Falun Gong teaches people to follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. The media would not quote from Falun Gong's books unless they could twist their meanings and use them out of context.
“It's nonsense! You are framing my Teacher. You are framing Falun Gong. Falun Gong is not at all what you say!” I found myself exclaiming out of frustration while watching Chinese TV reports.
I considered myself extraordinarily lucky to have read Falun Gong's main study text a week before the persecution began. Otherwise, I might have fallen prey to the regime's propaganda like many Chinese people. I might have even joined them in condemning Falun Gong and supporting the suppression. Most importantly, I might have lost the opportunity to practice Falun Gong if I were a week late with reading the book.
Wishing I had started practicing Falun Gong sooner
For three years prior to July 1999, a few of my friends had repeatedly recommended Falun Gong to me, but I refused because I was practicing a different school of qigong. Two friends that I had previously said no to a few times came looking for me in June 1999. They laid down a copy of Zhuan Falun on my coffee table and said, “Why don't you read it? It's a great book.”
Then they left.
I was very offended. I thought, “How many times do I have to say no to you? It is not as though you didn't know I practiced a different school of qigong. I must focus on one cultivation way. I will not read your book.”
I left the book on the coffee table without even touching it once. My husband finally suggested a week later, “Why don't you send the book back? Just tell them you have read it. They'll never know.”
That was when I finally touched the book. I flipped the pages while I was walking out of my home to return the book. Then I was captivated by the first paragraph:
“'The Buddha Fa' is most profound; among all the theories in the world, it is the most intricate and extraordinary science. In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance.” (“Lunyu” in Zhuan Falun)
I turned around and went back inside. I decided to read the book.
I was quite familiar with the term “Buddha,” but I never really understood what “Buddha” was. Where are divine beings? How does one become a Buddha, an enlightened being? How does the Buddha Fa (meaning “the way of the universe”) transcend all the theories in the world? Why is the Buddha Fa a science? I was completely captivated by the book.
I started reading the book with many questions to be answered. I carefully read and considered each and every sentence in the book. It is truly a remarkable book. It teaches me things I could never learn from any other book. My respect towards Teacher grew as I read it. I also felt guilty about repeatedly turning down those two friends in the past.
My wish for a compassionate heart and to return to my origin
Once I read the book, I realized it is not an ordinary book. It teaches a cultivation practice of great virtue. It describes the origin and the history of mankind, as well as the true meaning of life. It explains the structure of the universe and the human body. It teaches the universal law, that man will ultimately be rewarded for his good deeds and punished for his bad deeds.
I had always thought that Buddha and divine beings are a myth, but now I know there are enlightened beings, and lives of higher realms. I have learned that apotheosis is attainable through cultivation practice as Sakyamuni was able to. Falun Gong is Truth. Falun Gong is a science that transcends ordinary science and is by no means a superstition.
I saw Buddhas and divine beings with my Celestial Eye while I was reading Zhuan Falun, which encouraged me more to follow its teachings. I resolved to upgrade my moral character continuously until I reached Consummation and become an enlightened being of a higher realm.
Illness of over 20 years disappears
My chronic illness, which had lasted more than 20 years, was cured while I was reading Zhuan Falun. One day I was studying the book at home alone, when I suddenly felt something very warm touching the nape of my neck.
I was a little scared at first. I took a break before I resumed reading. But soon I felt a warm current traveling down my nape and all the way to the bottoms of my feet. It felt great!
It took me a while to realize that Teacher was pouring energy into my body in order to purify it. I immediately knelt down and thanked Teacher for His compassion. I was in tears. This was the very first time I had experienced Teacher's compassion and Falun Gong's extraordinary healing power. I have never felt any pain or discomfort on rainy or humid days ever since.
Cured of painful complications of a failed dental procedure
A few years before I started practicing Falun Gong, I had a root canal on a wisdom tooth. It went horribly wrong and caused significant damage that no hospital was able to cure. I had corneal congestion. My pupils dilated. I had difficulty sticking out my tongue or opening my mouth wide. I had blood congestion in my left ear and nostril. My head felt so congested that I wanted to cut it open for relief. My face was swollen. I had bruises on my left chin and even on my left foot. There was even a large bump on my left ankle. I could feel blood vessels in my temples and left chin throbbing. I had blurry vision. I was left with many medical problems. I had to carry nitroglycerin pills with me at all times in case of heart attack. I had been to hospitals in Beijing, Shanghai and Shenyang, but I continued to suffer complications.
It had never occurred to me that all of these problems would simply disappear by reading Zhuan Falun. I have been perfectly healthy ever since.
Several physicians that had treated me during regular visits or in the emergency room were very curious when I ran into them. “You look quite healthy and energetic. Why haven't I seen you in the past few years?”
I would tell them, “This is because of Falun Gong. It has cured me of all the illnesses that hospitals failed to treat. Falun Gong has saved my life. I will never be your patient again.”
I added, “My Teacher has done nothing wrong. He teaches us to be good and moral. It is Jiang Zemin (a former chairman of the Chinese Communist Party) and the Communist Party that are in the wrong. They have banned Falun Gong. They have arrested, tortured and killed Falun Gong practitioners for their belief. Look! (I demonstrated a few Falun Gong exercise movements.) How could the Chinese regime be so sensitive that this would offend them in any way?”
“Falun Gong has done nothing wrong. It will be a good thing for you to acknowledge that Falun Gong is in the right,” I said.
It is Teacher that has restored my health. Many local people have witnessed my health transformation. I am a living testimony of Falun Gong.
Freed from depression and hate
I had requested reimbursements for a series of medical treatments as a result of the malpractice on my root canal, but many of the requests were denied. My medical expenses kept piling up while I was spending a lot of time and energy on explaining to different departments that handled medical reimbursements.
Meanwhile, I failed to get job promotions and salary raises that I felt entitled to. I felt wounded and depressed. I felt the world was unjust. I became resentful to society and the world. I blamed everything on society and everyone in it. I made frequent visits to the appeals office to seek what I called justice, but it was vengeance I sought.
It was Falun Gong that pulled me out of the dark place I had been in for many years.
“To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.”
Teacher also said,
“Our school of practice directly targets one’s mind. The key issue is whether you can take lightly and care less about the issues of individual gain and interpersonal conflicts.” (Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun)
Little by little, Teacher's words helped me to let go of my grudges. It was indeed a malpractice of the dentist that has caused me misery for many years, but he did not do it on purpose. He will learn his lesson and become better at his practice.
I must have compassion as a cultivator. I had been attached to my loss for far too long. I wasn't able to let go of my self-interest for many years.
I can never be a genuine cultivator if I hold onto my loss or my self-interest. I truly thank Teacher for saving me from a life full of hatred and resentment.
As a cultivator, I must endure mental hardship. When I faced tests of my moral character, I knew rationally that I must let go of selfishness, but I couldn't do it sometimes. Yet I have gradually improved my moral character as I continue to study Falun Gong's teachings.
I don't actually own anything in this world. I am just passing through it. This is not my true home. It is meaningless to own all the wealth in the world if I cannot reach Consummation and return to my true home.
I eventually let go of the biggest grudge in my lifetime. I stopped going to the appeals office to seek justice for the malpractice.
I am not saying I have become a saint. I am just trying to say that I am a better person today, someone who has let go of the feelings of hatred and resentment, and it is all because of Falun Gong. It has enabled me to want to be better without any ulterior motives. I can only tell you it feels great to be free of those negative feelings!
I feel enormously fortunate to practice Falun Gong. I have not only become healthy, but have also become a forgiving person with a positive outlook on life. Words cannot express my gratitude for Falun Gong. My transformation is living testimony of Falun Gong.