Letting Go of the Attachment to Previous Lives

(Minghui.org) I want to share a tribulation I encountered that lasted over a year, hoping that it will be helpful for practitioners suffering from similar interference. Please forgive me if my sharing still shows an attachment towards reincarnation, or the attachment of validating myself.

At the end of 2011, I accidentally watched a detective-suspense film, which caused more than a year of depression. I was very attached to the film, the novel it was created from and the culture of that country. The depression rendered me unable to concentrate on Fa study, and I felt like reading more about it every day. In 2012, I went to that country to do Shen Yun Performing Arts reports. After that job was completed, I took a short tour of the country. More “memories” came to me like a wave. Actually, I could not see my previous life, and it was just a strong sentiment. I felt that I had previously reincarnated in that country. Later, although I did not watch that film anymore, I was still very attached to films or TV series about that country. I kept reading these periodically, and wasted lots of time.

To some practitioners, these things may be optional reading, but to me, this kind of addiction was so strong that I felt like I existed in two worlds. I felt normal whenever I studied the Fa with practitioners or worked on Dafa projects, but when I was addicted to these things, it felt like I was dreaming in a chaotic world.

I tried to quit many times, as if going through “withdrawal”. Sometimes when I was busy with projects, I could stop for a couple of days, but then returned to the addiction. “Withdrawal” is an ordinary person's way to remove addictions, like a side-way cultivation path. It was just a waste of time, and not working at all. It is like the opening of the celestial eye. Once one's cultivation improves, it is just one step away, but without improvement in cultivation, the goal is tens of thousands of miles away. I was taking the slowest approach, but how was I to improve my xinxing? Everyone would describe this as “sentiment”, but that was too vague for me.

I studied the Fa with my father daily. I also went to group Fa study on weekends. However, I constantly got lost and remembered very few words during Fa study. I reminded myself not to be absent-minded, but soon returned to the dream-like state. Over half a year later, I suddenly realized that I had not studied the Fa all that time. However, since I appeared to be studying the Fa daily, I'd never realized the seriousness of the problem. I tried to study the Fa in several different locations last fall. Later, after studying Zhuan Falun daily, I read the whole book every weekend. I was quite diligent for a couple of weeks, then slacked off again. I was very disappointed. In my heart, I also asked Master to help me, but that didn't work. I was very frustrated and felt like giving up.

At the beginning of this year, my father went through a test of life and death. His life was saved by Master. During this process, I also observed the test that I kept failing, which was very similar to my father's situation. However, this was not a test to take my physical life, but rather, my life as a cultivator. When encountering other hardships, even if my heart wasn't pure, I'd study the Fa diligently and do the exercises. However, indulging in TV and reincarnation stories wore out my will, rendering me unable to study the Fa. Master said:

“If you cannot keep up in Fa-study, then there is no hope.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)

The old forces knew very well that this was the most “efficient” way to make me give up cultivation.

I didn't improve much, even after I recognized the problem. I calmed down for a couple of days, then it started again. My passion transferred to martial arts figures in the North Song Dynasty, and was mixed with modern distorted sentiments. I even started to think that this was just one dynasty, so if I'm attached to my previous lives, and there are so many dynasties - isn't it endless?

Before I went to another country for Shen Yun reports, this attachment peaked. I cried every day and my heart was in pain. I always tried to keep myself in a good cultivation status before this important project started. However, this time, before I boarded the flight, I still couldn't let go of the novel in hand. I didn't stop reading until the day that the show started.

I did not need to conduct interviews or take photographs, so I was able to calm down and watch the programs. I thought: “Don't think about anything while watching Shen Yun, give yourself to Master.” Although this was not a very pure thought, Master still helped me. During the final scene when the picture of Master appeared on the backdrop, I felt ashamed, but was surprised to see Master smiling at me.

The advantage of studying the Fa with local practitioners is that they speak at length, so even if I become absent-minded, I have enough time to go back to the Fa. After I studied the Fa for awhile, tears came down my face. I deleted the novel in my cell phone before the show started on the second night.

I cried throughout the first half of the show this year, but not during the second half of the show.

Master said,

“Indeed, that is the case, because no matter where a person might have happened to reincarnate later, he still has that memory. It’s like an electrical plug—plug it in, and the electricity flows through it.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)

That day, I realized that it was a plug-in for ordinary people. To cultivators however, it could be a barrier.

I remember reading an experience sharing article, in which the author recalled a previous life. This life stayed with her and kept interfering with the practitioner. Later, the practitioner dismissed her with benevolence. I had similar feelings before, and indeed feel that the life was deeply hurt by sentiment and therefore lived a poor life. This time, I didn't stop at the feelings; I enlightened that my previous lives are still active since their names are kept in history. Although they established the culture that is required for the Fa-rectification, without assimilating to Dafa, they are also part of the old cosmos. They will interfere with me if I am attached to them.

Master explained the source of thoughts in “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”. I studied this lecture many times this year, and was enlightened by it. However, I did not realize after returning from this country that those things I was attached to were not me at all. They were notions and attachments strengthened and exaggerated by many lives at different levels. What was I attached to for so long? Those are not me at all!

Master said:

“The beings that gods respect the least are those who can't find themselves and whose righteous thoughts are lacking whenever they do things. If somebody can't find himself, if he doesn't say what he means, if he goes to extremes when he does things, and if the real him isn't in control, then tell me, who would I be saving? Which one is you? Gods have the least respect for beings like that. Even though those people have joined the ranks of Dafa disciples, they're actually not part of Dafa. That's truly sad. They have no righteous thoughts.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students”)

I cannot express my feelings after reading this paragraph of Fa.

After returning home, I studied Zhuan Falun . Master said:

“Of course, karma will resist, and so one will have tribulations and obstacles. But thought karma can directly interfere with one’s mind. Therefore, one’s mind has swear words that condemn Teacher and Dafa, and one may think of some evil thoughts or swear words. As a result, some practitioners do not know what is going on and think that these thoughts come from themselves.”

and

“Some people do not have a very strong Main Consciousness and will comply with the thought karma to commit wrongdoing. Such people will be ruined and drop in levels.” (“Your Main Consciousness Should Predominate” from Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun)

At that time, I realized that the interference was probably caused by something anonymous. It was different from thought karma, but also a kind of karma which rendered me unable to distinguish it from myself, and follow it to do something bad.

Master continued:

“Most people, however, can remove and resist it with very strong thoughts from themselves (a strong Main Consciousness). With this, it indicates that this person can be saved and can distinguish good from bad. In other words, the person has good enlightenment quality. My fashen will help eliminate the most of such thought karma. This situation is seen frequently. Once it transpires, one will be tested to see if one can overcome such bad thoughts on one’s own. If one is determined, the karma can be eliminated.” (Zhuan Falun)

This is also what I needed to do; when those martial arts figures appeared in my mind again and made me feel “pain”, I suppressed them, and said to myself: “They are not me, My true self would not feel that they're good things.”

A few days later, a sentence appeared in my mind: “Those previous lives of mine are just clothes made from dirt!”

Finally, I was able to make the decision not to watch film or TV. Sometimes, I felt like watching animated movies, but I could not do that either! I realized that if I couldn't control myself right after being purified by Shen Yun, it would be even more difficult to control myself after watching those things, and I would be destroyed little by little like this.

Of course, since I work on TV programs, I still have to watch TV news and feature films. These were just for studying, and would not cause attachments.

Later, while reporting on Shen Yun in another country, I saw the program “Tang Troops”. The upright and indomitable spirit made me immediately “transcend”.

Those sentiments returned, and I told myself: “They are not me, I do not want them” After rounds of struggles, I realized that it was time for me to clean out those things. What I needed to do now, was to strengthen my righteous thoughts.

Soon after, I vaguely saw two pieces of black dirty stuff falling in front of me. I even looked down carefully, but of course, I did not see anything.

Now I have returned to normal. It is no longer difficult for me to get up early to send righteous thoughts or do the exercises. I still become absent minded from time to time while studying the Fa, but I then return to studying the paragraphs that I missed until I finally understand them. Although it went slowly, it was like being in another dimension and I saw a completely different connotation.