(Minghui.org) After reading the Minghui editorial “Giving Speeches Amounts to Disrupting the Fa,” I remembered a deep lesson I learned a few years ago which I would like to share here. Hopefully it can also serve as a reference to fellow practitioners who have similar problems, or problems which may seem insignificant, but are not yet taken seriously.
A few years ago, a number of us had a sharing with “practitioner A from elsewhere.” He was introduced to us by a very reliable practitioner from the south. Practitioner A shared with us how steadfast he was while in prison, how deeply others were moved, how he clarified the facts, and how urgent quitting the CCP was and how we could do it effectively. He told us he knew a lot of people around China and had been to many places to share, etc. Because we felt “he cultivated really well and we were far behind, and what he said was really inspiring,” we basically let him do all the talking. In the next few days, he had a number of sharings with others (a few practitioners at a time) and studied the Fa with us and did some other things to validate the Fa. Most of us felt “he indeed cultivated better than us and we had learned a lot,” except for one practitioner whose heart was not moved at all.
Not long after, because I had a strong attachment, I was deceived and taken to a brainwashing center far away. I was deprived of sleep and subjected to continuous brainwashing tactics. When I became confused and developed crooked understandings, I did something extremely shameful and named other fellow practitioners. (I would like to express my deep repentance again.) At that time, someone mentioned practitioner A, saying, “He goes everywhere to share (including the place where I was being persecuted) and he is very influential.” The local police were shocked to hear this and said, “This is very important. We'll definitely investigate it.” But nothing happened, and they seemed to avoid the topic. I felt we were pretty lucky at the time and I also felt it a bit strange: How come they suddenly lost interest in such a well-known figure?
Two years later, the Minghui website exposed that “practitioner A” is a secret agent. Practitioners from around China who know practitioner A gave evidence that “A fabricated many things and he even contradicted what he previously said.” However, it was very hard for us to distinguish since we only spent a short time with him. Most practitioners who attended sharing meetings (including the practitioner who introduced “practitioner A” to us) experienced persecution later on, either directly or indirectly. (Some may still be persecuted today.)
As for myself, I learned a very deep lesson from this and realized that the key thing was: I did not study the Fa with a calm mind and failed to regard the Fa as teacher. It is really dangerous not to look inward. I felt I did not improve for a long time, so I turned to seek things externally, and was keen to “share with those who cultivated well.” As a result, I developed the attachment of zealotry and started to worship others, and in the end fell into the trap set up by the old forces and caused losses to myself, to fellow practitioners and the Fa.
The above is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything improper.
