Uproot Deeply Hidden Selfishness

(Minghui.org) Being unselfish and thinking of others first is one of the basic requirements Teacher has for disciples during cultivation. I find that the manifestation of selfishness can be very subtle and refined, and inconspicuously hidden when we believe we are thinking of others first. If practitioners do not examine their behavior from the Fa, they will have a hard time recognizing selfishness when they face problems.

I loaned a fellow practitioner a large sum of money yuan when he opened a restaurant. The business didn’t do well and he became worried. I told him: “Don’t worry. We are one body. Let’s send forth righteous thoughts to get rid of the economic persecution by the old forces and work together.” During this time, I took notice of many restaurants in my area and found a restaurant near my house that was doing big business. I invited the fellow practitioner to join me for a meal at that restaurant. I said to him: “How is this? Why don’t you change your operating style and do what this restaurant does? Your business definitely will get better.” He replied: “Most of the customers here are students, but my restaurant is far from any school.” Obviously, he did not accept my advice.

I wondered later if it was because I didn’t make myself clear. A few days later, I invited him to the same restaurant again. This time, I analyzed in detail the restaurant’s location, quality of the food, the decorations and setup, and the prices. At the end I said: “How about it? Why don’t you follow what I just suggested and give it a try? I am sure your business will be booming in no time.” He still wasn't that positive, and said: “O.K., I will think about it.” The restaurant was closed after a few months, and he incurred a large debt.

I was puzzled: “My suggestions were good. Why didn’t he use them? I was doing it for his sake.” Recently, I realized that on the surface I was trying to help him find a solution for his business problems. But I had a deeply hidden agenda that was selfish. If his business did better, he would be able to return my money. If he failed, then the money I loaned him would be lost. My own interests were involved in what I told him. The selfish motive was so deeply hidden that it was very difficult to discover if I really did not spend time thinking about it.

This made me think about my mother. For a long time, I had been pointing out what I thought were her weaknesses when I talked to her. She would scold me in return: “Cultivate yourself. I am not inferior to you.” Then she would point out my weaknesses and bring up issues from the past. When I went to visit her, I stopped arguing with her. I thought: “I am happy as long as you do well. I will pay more attention to your good points.” For a practitioner, there was nothing wrong with this thought. However, one day while I was sharing with my sister, I found a selfish motive. “I was afraid of being scolded by my mother when I pointed out her shortcomings. I was afraid of being hurt.” I thought I was doing very poorly in my cultivation. The motive behind “thinking of others first” is where I needed to improve myself.

When the employees from higher levels would come into my office, the first thing I would think about was to tell them the facts about Dafa. Sometimes I would also buy them lunch. I felt happy when others approved of Dafa and quit the Chinese Communist Party. However, sometimes a negative thought would enter my mind while clarifying the truth: “They will certainly help me in the future since I have been good to them.” My “quit pro quo” thinking embarrassed me. How could I be so impure and drop so low?

Teacher said:

“Saving people has no conditions attached, there’s no asking a price, and there’s no wanting rewards, there’s no taking credit. They are way above ordinary people’s good Samaritans, and it’s done completely out of compassion.” (Zhuan Falun)

Selfishness is like a shadow that follows you and attaches to you. It can even be sly. Sometimes it can be seen and sometimes not. If one does not intently look inward during a conflict, it is easy to miss. Only when the universal principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance are used to evaluate our thoughts, words, and deeds can we identify, and dissolve selfish behavior.

I am sharing my understanding with fellow practitioners. Please point out my shortcomings.