(Minghui.org) Greetings, compassionate Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am 48 years old and consider myself a new Dafa practitioner even though I began practicing in 2007. I've always wanted to write an article to express my great gratitude to Master, but I felt my writing skills were not good enough and I feared the challenge. This time I made up my mind to write about my cultivation experiences. Each opportunity Master gives to us is very precious and won't happen again. I must not miss the opportunity this time.
For the first three years after I started to practice, I did not study the Fa well and did not cultivate myself well. I did not advance diligently. Then, when my marriage and life were crumbling away, Master did not give up on me. Instead, he gave me a completely new life.
My life was very difficult and included two marriages. My first husband had mental illness, and we constantly argued for over two years. Finally the marriage ended. During the marriage, I had multiple abortions, which caused great damage to my body and created the huge karma of killing. Due to the damage to all that I had gone through, I was on the edge of collapse.
My current husband also did not meet my expectations. He did not care about me or our daughter, and did not help with the upkeep of our home. He only cared about himself, wore designer clothes, drank good wine, smoked expensive cigarettes, played cards, and gambled.
My long term depression and fatigue eventually lead to rheumatoid arthritis. In the beginning, my knee joints were painful and hurt even worse when it was cold. Later, all my joints hurt, and I dreaded the slightest chill. I started treatment when my child was just two years old, searching for experts and famous doctors everywhere. After ten years, every brief period of hope was dashed, and the symptoms continued to get worse.
By the time my daughter reached school age, I had to wear a cotton coat in the summer. If I wore less, the pain was worse. If I wore more, I ended up drenched in sweat. I had to change clothes many times a day. During the summer I used extra blankets to keep my joints warm enough, even though it resulted in changing out of soaked pajamas more than once a night.
After more than ten years, my face looked quite pale. I aged quickly, looking like I was over 60 years old rather than just 40. Meanwhile, I developed nephritis and kidney pain, which also required staying extra warm at night, even during the summer. My kidneys had not responded well after long term treatment, so I did not have any hope that my illnesses would be cured. I was just hoping to reach the short term goal of watching my child graduate from college before I died.
My husband looked handsome on the surface and was embarrassed by my aging appearance. In 2007 he began gambling every day at the casino. By the New Year, he had developed a relationship with another woman. By the Chinese New Year, he had moved into the other woman's home. He had totally moved on with his life and travelled with her everywhere. He cared even less about our child.
I had a relative who cultivated Falun Dafa. After July 20, 1999, I was curious why the CCP did not allow people to cultivate Falun Dafa. So I read Zhuan Falun once. Due to CCP's atheistic brainwashing for many years, I felt that gods and Buddhas were far away from me.
The topic of “Cosmic Language” that Master taught immediately solved one of my puzzles. A TV news program showed an illiterate village woman in Guizhou Province who was suddenly able to paint a specific type of painting. She made a lot of paintings like that, getting attention from the art industry in China. They organized a few famous painters to visit her. When the painters asked her to explain this phenomena, she suddenly started to talk in a strange language that no one could understand, including herself. I clearly understood Master's explanation from “Cosmic Language” in Zhuan Falun. However, I believed only this one topic in the book and I still felt that cultivation was very far away from me. So I regrettably missed this opportunity to cultivate in Dafa.
Facing Tribulations While Cultivating
By the spring of 2007, I felt desperately concerned that my husband was addicted to gambling, and my physical condition continued to deteriorate. I found no one who could change my fate. Then I remembered Zhuan Falun. I read Zhuan Falun again seriously, and I found what Master taught is great. I felt much closer to Dafa this time. After serious consideration, I felt that Dafa is the Buddha Law, that Dafa can make a person open-minded, good, and one who won't end up in hell after they die. So I learned the five exercises from my relative. I made up my mind that I would firmly cultivate Dafa in the limited time I had left.
Master saw my firm intention. He let me see the scenes of other dimensions twice. After that my determination to cultivate became even stronger. I firmly believed in Master and Dafa.
Due to my health, I could not go to work. To survive, I started to run a business with my husband after my daughter went to school, so I could not meet with my relative practitioner often and share cultivation experiences. I cultivated alone. Although I did the exercises every day, I did not study the Fa well so I did not understand the Fa principles clearly. This also means that I did not get rid of my attachments and cultivate myself well. I knew that Dafa was good, but I did not know how to advance diligently.
After my husband had the affair, I felt like the sky had collapsed. My health was bad, and my daughter was still little. I felt I could not live like this anymore. With my family's help, after painful struggling, I eliminated the mindset of relying on others. I had to face my life alone no matter what the future brought. I decided to divorce my husband. During the division of property, my husband only agreed that he owned all the goods and bank deposits, our daughter owned the house, and it would be up to me to take care of our daughter. I did not get a penny. So I fought with him, and the divorce became a war.
Although I could not go to work due to my health for more than ten years, I took care of my daughter while she was little and did all the housework. I started the business when my daughter went to school. I did not do less work for the business compared to any healthy person. Although my health was not good, I gave all the good food and clothes to my daughter and my husband. I never wasted a penny. I dedicated myself to the family. So I hated my husband for his ruthlessness. That was not like a practitioner at all.
By then, my daughter was attending middle school and I ran the business alone. My daughter and I depended on each other. She tended to be sick often, and I took her to a doctor of Chinese medicine. My brothers and sisters helped me financially and mentally, but they all lived in my hometown, which was far away from my current home.
After a while, I still could not solve the puzzles in my mind. My health deteriorated rapidly. I also had insomnia, moderate depression, and heart disease. One night I finally slept for a while, but I had a heart attack the same night. I struggled for a long time before I finally woke up. I truly experienced the state of passing away while sleeping. My mind was clear, but I could not move and I could not ask for help from my relatives nearby.
At that time, my daughter and I were often felt like were we living under the shadow of death. She worried that she would become an orphan if I died. Every night while I slept, my daughter held my hands. Her fear worried me a lot. I felt I could die at any time. Who knew when I would have another heart attack? I started to write letters to my daughter to teach her every step of growing up. I planned for her to get them after I died.
I truly experienced that people could not take anything away with them when they died. Why are we still attached to fame, personal interests, and sensations? Only life is the most precious. At that time, my practitioner relative also passed away due to her longterm omissions in cultivation and not understanding the Fa clearly. I was very confused. How should I walk my path and live my life in the future? My insomnia got worse and I felt more depressed and hopeless.
During my tribulations, Master saved my life again. He arranged for two diligent practitioners to find me and help me. They cultivated very well. I really admired their maturity and wisdom. Everything they said was based on the Fa. Everything I said was based on an everyday person's point of view. I always thought that I had cultivated Dafa diligently. Not until then did I really see what true Dafa practitioners are like. I sincerely wished I could cultivate as well as they and be one of Master's true disciples.
Letting Go of the Attachment to Illness
I met those practitioners on April 18, 2010. At that time, I was really afraid of dying from a heart attack and I still had severe insomnia. I relied on medication to sleep a little at night. With their encouragement, I learned from my mistakes and made up my mind to fully give myself to Master and Dafa, and cultivate Dafa for the rest of my life. On April 20, 2010, I stopped taking any medicine. During all those years, the medications did not cure my illnesses--they made me worse and were also the cause of the insomnia.
When I couldn't sleep at night, I started reciting “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I kept reciting as long as my mind was clear. I did not notice when I fell asleep that night, but the next morning when I got up, my body and mind were crystal clear. I no longer had symptoms of dizziness or headaches.
I knew Master had helped me, and I was very grateful. I more firmly believed in Master and Dafa. During the daytime, I only studied the Fa besides running the business. At night I did the five exercises. I always slept well after that. After 20 days, my heart disease totally disappeared. After three months, I totally got rid of the cotton coat I had worn for many years.
In August 2010, I started to wear summer clothes like normal healthy people did. I walked lightly and my entire body was very comfortable. People who did not cultivate Dafa could never dream that something like this would happen to them. All the illnesses had disappeared, including depression, heart disease, nephritis, and other incurable diseases. Master gave me a completely new life. My happiness and gratitude cannot be described in words.
I'll never forget my daughter's surprise when she saw me wearing normal people's clothing. In her memory, she had never seen me wearing such things. My family, relatives, friends, neighbors, and the shop customers were all surprised, and praised Dafa's greatness. After that, four people among my customers and relatives started to cultivate Dafa.
Those two practitioners helped me selflessly. Even though they were very busy, they came to my home once or twice every week to share cultivation experiences with me and encourage me. They kindly pointed out the things I did not fully understand. After I bought a computer, they helped me install the operating system and taught me how to explore the Minghui website. Since then, I have read fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles on Minghui every day, which has greatly helped my cultivation.
One practitioner sent me his only set of precious Dafa books. He wanted me to study the Fa well and be worthy of Master's compassionate salvation. No words can can express my great gratitude toward Master and fellow practitioners. Those fellow practitioners are Master's good disciples. Without Master arranging for them to find me, I would have died a long time ago.
I melted into the Fa every day. I regretted wasting so many years of precious time before I truly acquired the Fa. I tried to make up for all the time I wasted. Every day and every moment I was within the Fa. My life was very happy. Master often enlightened me and encouraged me, allowing me to see and feel Dafa's miracles many times. With continuous Fa-study, my dimensions were full of compassion and tolerance. I did not feel an everyday person's resentment anymore, and I no longer hated my husband.
Family Reunites and Assimilates to Dafa
My daughter also became a young Dafa practitioner. She often studied the Fa and practiced the exercises with me. During summer vacation, she studied all of Master's Fa lectures. Her health continuously improved, and her sports score was at the top of the entire class. When she had conflicts with classmates, she took them lightly and told herself, “This is a great opportunity for me to improve my enlightenment quality.” My daughter's high school is a top ranking school, and there are a lot of smart students in her class. Although her score was not among the best, the teacher really likes her and tutors her. As of now, her scores have improved a lot. Master truly makes the best arrangements.
Every day when I managed the shop, I treated each customer with the Fa principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, truly thinking of them first. I helped the customers solve real issues and never let them waste a penny at my shop. In today's immoral and materialistic society, my shop was unique and gained a lot of praise from customers. Those who came to my shop all became long term customers. Every customer can feel my sincerity and kindness. My shop's finances got better and better.
In time I heard my husband wanted to come back. I initially was very worried. My daughter and I had just started to lead a balanced life and I was worried that people like him would have a negative effect if he returned. Fellow practitioners told me, “Even though your cultivation has improved, you still need to increase your capacity. Master arranged for him to come back for your cultivation.” I calmed down and made up my mind to pass this test well.
In October my husband returned. He and his girlfriend had lived together for two and a half years. I maintained righteous thoughts and did not mention what happened in the past. I also studied the Fa more and filled my mind with the Fa. I ran the business well, took care of my daughter and husband, and never complained.
There were more tests to come. Master said,
“But, usually when a conflict comes along, if it doesn’t provoke you, it doesn’t count, it doesn’t work, and you won’t be able to improve from it.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I passed a xinxing test with my husband. Master used fellow practitioners' words to enlighten me. In short, I did not take a detour to pass the test. I gradually let go of my sentimentality toward my husband, as well as my attachments of lust and money. I experienced great improvements in my personal cultivation.
Even though my husband came back, he didn't support me financially. I had to provide all the living expenses and pay for our daughter’s education. He spent and saved the money he earned. During that time, someone tried to stir up my emotions about this. I was strict with myself following the Fa principles and told myself, “This is what I owed him from a previous life.” I felt very light and wonderful when I let go of the attachments.
With Master's enlightenment and fellow practitioners' help, I gradually learned how to cultivate myself. With continuous cultivation, my appearance changed greatly. My skin took on a healthy glow. I walked very lightly and people thought I seemed much younger than before.
After my husband returned, my daughter always felt so distant from him. She thought that in his heart, she was less important than the woman he had outside the marriage, and that's why he abandoned us. I used Dafa's principles to enlighten her. I explained that people get together because of predestined relationships and we need to use the Fa principles to measure things instead of using human principles on the surface. I told her not to bother with her father's past. Soon my daughter learned to think of herself as a young practitioner to pass any tests when conflicts happened. Since then she hasn't had any problems with her father.
The presence of Dafa in our home is a positive influence on my husband. Although he still hasn't officially started to cultivate the Fa yet, he is reading Zhuan Falun. His behavior has also improved a lot. I know Master helped me to harmonize my family. Right now my entire family is harmonious and happy.
Words cannot express my great gratitude for Master's compassionate salvation. I must cultivate myself diligently, purify myself constantly within the Fa, strive to do the three things well, and not waste Master's compassionate salvation.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!