(Minghui.org) I developed a toothache last Tuesday, and doing the first two exercises didn't relieve the symptoms.
I looked inward to identify the problem, and recognized feelings of hatred, laziness, looking for comfort, and desiring sweet and sour food. Sending righteous thoughts didn't clear these feelings away. On Friday as I took my children to school, I wondered whether I just wanted to be healed.
At home, I was copying out Zhuan Falun by hand and thought about what I'd been doing over the last several years. I always did the exercises when I felt sick, but paid less attention to them when healthy. In conducting my business, I usually followed the natural course of things as a practitioner should. I also knew that my family would benefit from my practice and I felt lucky to be a practitioner. At this point in my thought process, I noticed that I was using my Falun Gong practice to gain benefits in this world! This must be my fundamental attachment.
I had previously read an article that discussed faith in Teacher and the Fa, in which the same type of attachment was mentioned. At that time, I thought that I was free of this attachment. The reason I cultivated was not for healing illness or other objectives. I liked the Fa, its guidance for being a good person, and I had removed many attachments. However, my cultivation was for the purpose of enjoying Teacher's protection and any associated benefits in this world.
After more than ten years of cultivation, I now realize that everything Teacher did—including removal of karma, resolving historical conflicts, etc.—was for me to become an enlightened, selfless being, not just to enjoy life.
What kind of person assimilates to the Fa? Someone who has faith in Teacher and the Fa and whose thoughts are focused on doing the three things. When the physical body changes, there can't be any pain associated with karma. My changed body should not have anything to do with a toothache. Once I separated the toothache from myself, my body immediately felt light and comfortable.
In the evening when I did the second exercise, I felt really great. I recalled what Teacher said:
“If I cannot save you, nobody else can.” (Zhuan Falun)
I was moved to tears. I am truly ashamed to have spent over ten years of cultivation practice using human notions.
This is restricted to my level of understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.
