After Beginning Cultivation Practice at a Young Age, My Faith Has Been Continuously Challenged and Strengthened

(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa when I was 9 or 10 years old. As a child I used to rush to open the door when anyone arrived, so one evening I rushed to open the door for my grandmother, and was very fascinated by the book Falun Gong in her hand. That night I asked her if I could do the movements shown in the book, and also the sitting meditation. Soon near my home a weekly practice and Fa study group was organized, which I attended. At the group Fa study we usually studied other lectures, and I wondered what the book Zhuan Falun that Master mentions so many times was about. I eventually got a copy of the book. It was 385 pages so I initially decided to read one page per day and take a year to complete it. But I actually finished it very quickly. I had been exposed to the teachings of several masters, but I was drawn to the Fa.

When I was 11 years old I went on a trip with family where we visited a temple. The priest asked us to tell our Master’s name and I said Master Li. When I look back I find it unusual, because I knew so many others, but my heart said Master Li.

One evening during a festival being celebrated at my apartment I went a little late as I sent forth righteous thoughts. Everybody around me was upset as I missed a ritual. Subsequently, for a long time, everyone in the family, including my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and siblings, tried to persuade me to give up Dafa, citing reasons like “it’s not from our nationality,” “Master isn’t from our religion,” and “it’s leading to me being converted into something bad.” My neighbors also teased me often, as I practiced a cultivation that’s Chinese. I cried one night afterwards.

Master writes in “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,”

“All of the ordinary people were being controlled as well, and not just human beings, even animals and plants were being controlled. You could see that even each blade of grass and each tree seemed to bear a lot of malice toward us.”

That night it really felt so. I was feeling very guilty, and felt my behavior was very wrong, and that it led to everyone around me having these thoughts. I believed that only because of my gaps could such things occur. I resolved to behave better and clarify the truth with my actions.

But my faith never wavered. I didn’t have any thoughts like giving up, or doubts about whether the Fa was righteous at all.

A multi-layered fear formed in me from then on. Realizing this and eliminating it has really been a process. Today everyone in my family, and others around me, respect Dafa and my choice of cultivation. My aunt remarked once, while she saw me sending forth righteous thoughts, that though she has practiced different meditations for a long time, she has not reached the level of serenity she saw on my face that day. My grandmother scolds me for being lazy when I miss going to the practice site for a long duration. My father once spoke to me harshly, and I confronted him that night and told him he hurt me. He reminded me that since I was a cultivator I should be forbearing and take it lightly, as he himself had forgotten about it and didn’t mean it. My uncle once had critical surgery. When I went to visit him I played “Pudu” and “Jishi,” and sent righteous thoughts. He admired the music and said he wished to learn Dafa.

Master writes in “Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference,”

“In one’s cultivation, the stored-up things are gradually removed. But if you want to remove it all in one shot upon starting to cultivate, generally speaking that’s not possible. The reason is, it takes more than one cold night to form ice three feet thick: the things that have formed are hard to purge in one shot, for you haven’t sufficient heat and haven’t reached the point of being able to melt it. So you have to make many attempts on it before you can melt it away. If you cultivate well today, that much will thaw; cultivate well tomorrow, and that much more will be melted away; cultivate well the following day, and that much more will melt. And it will continue, little by little, till the point that your righteous thoughts are truly sufficient. At that point the amount of heat you generate will have increased, and you will be able to fully melt it away.”

The environment around me is very different now. No one was willing to even listen to the truth before, but they have gradually become willing, and then accepted the truth.

Developing Shan

My uncle who lives with us has several bad habits, so I found it very difficult to speak or address him with compassion, or even look at him as a sentient being. One day while a fellow cultivator was visiting our home she saw my uncle ironing his clothes and offered to help him. I was bewildered at her compassion, as I felt that no one could respect him. I realized the state required of me, and restrained and eliminated my notions towards him. I feel it was all a creation in my mind. I respect him now and have since seen him in a whole new light. I realized I was being conditional in my compassion.

Master writes in “Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference,”

“Do you realize the effect of the mixture of your notions formed after birth, your notions formed over different time periods, and your thought karma that comes into play when you speak? Human thoughts will never be pure. Some such thoughts can be revealed to you, so you know; some aren’t, so you don’t know. Some people don’t even realize when these thoughts have manifested. So the factors in what you say include too many complicated things. The words of gods, to humans, are absolutely pure. You say you’re merciful (cibei), but in fact your mercy has many factors of human notions formed during different time periods mixed in. Your thinking is human thinking, and it contains everything. The thoughts emitted by your mind contain anything and everything. It is precisely to eliminate everything that’s impure and deficient that a person cultivates himself.”

At School

I often encountered and restrained my jealousy and competitive mentality. I never fought for marks and grades, while many of my classmates often quarreled and complained. I developed a very sharing and helpful nature. I remember sharing my notes when classmates were sick or absent, and lending them stationery, etc. When someone said bad things about me, I could stay calm.

Whenever the teacher for a particular class took leave, my classmates and I did group Fa study or practiced the exercises. This happened often. My school's general secretary was a member of the government and always looked stern. My principal was also very afraid of him. One evening after school I approached him, and introduced the Fa and clarified the truth to him. I also gave him a copy of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. He was very grateful. We then got an opportunity to introduce the Fa to the entire school, and everyone, including both students and teachers, learned it. The books Zhuan Falun and Falun Gong were then issued in our school library.

My friends accompanied me in clarifying the truth. They wrote contact information on hundreds of bookmarks, and handed them out. I met a friend six years later, and she had still preserved the lotus flower I gave her while in school. One classmate’s family didn’t like her spending time studying the Fa. She shared with me that she did everything that her family required of her, then studied the Fa in a corner of her home with little light, late at night while everyone slept.

My school principal was very supportive. We once had to meet a reporter from a news channel about Dafa, and my principal let me miss my class and go, even though there was no letter or phone call from my parents.

I handed out fliers while walking to school. Some days I would begin to run late and be rushing to school, and someone would then ask me many questions. This was a test every time. I always chose to clarify the truth, answer everything, and proceed. At all those moments, it felt like the time god was standing in respect, and stretched itself so that I would not be late to school.

My teacher once entered the class and suddenly asked me to leave. It was very embarrassing, but I went out silently. I recited Lunyu and recollected passages from Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun, which I had studied earlier that morning.

After a few minutes my teacher asked me to come back in, and said that he had been too harsh, and it was bothering him, causing him to be unable to continue teaching the class. I understood it was a test.

Clarifying the Truth to Media

During a vacation I went to live with my sister. I got contact numbers for several national news channels and newspapers, and called them and clarified the truth to them. Now, upon looking back, I realize it’s a righteous mind that matters. Though I was just 14, I went to the media channels' headquarters and spoke to the concerned persons, and in a few days they came to the practice site and did a story on Falun Dafa in our city. They spoke about the experiences practitioners had, and also introduced the teachings. I felt Master was with me all the while. It felt like he arranged everything and we just followed along.

At College

My college was 8 km (5 miles) away. I traveled by public bus and even walked a part of the way. This gave me such a good opportunity to introduce the Fa and clarify the truth along the way. There were twelve educational institutions in that locale, and the Fa was introduced to all. I put posters in many shops near the college. The students signed our petitions too. A few classmates I met in college are very diligent cultivators today. It was amazing the way it spread. My classmates--even the ones who did not practice cultivation--accompanied me to introduce the Fa.

A boy proposed to me, and I initially rejected him, but eventually I was lured and accepted. It was infatuation. He had the wrong intentions and wanted to get physical, but I was unable to see this. Master always protected me. After some time, he told me I was too pure to be harmed or taken advantage of, and then vanished, so nothing happened. It was a year or so later that I realized what he meant and was up to.

Surgery

I developed an abscess and it didn’t subside for a week. My family was worried and forced me to see a doctor, as I couldn’t sit or walk properly. I cried so much that day as they were making me go against the requirement of the Fa. I also wasn’t clear in my own mind. The doctor made an incision and said he would do surgery after several days. I denied it in my heart. I studied the Fa more diligently, sent righteous thoughts, and practiced the exercises, too. A hole developed in that region and all the pus flowed out. My mother still considers it a miracle. The surgery was cancelled. The doctor guaranteed it would recur in 15 days, but after almost two years it remains all well.

Taking Criticism

I was in a self-justifying, defensive state very often. It was a very filthy habit and very deeply layered. However, I have grown to appreciate being criticized. I feel so treasured, as everyone around wants me to improve. Even little incidents, like leaving a chocolate wrapper on the table, and not folding the wire of the charger properly are pointed out. It’s so nice, as it makes me better as I keep working on it. I have failed and talked back to my grandmother very badly at times, and the tougher test has been to apologize to her. Just two days ago I succeeded in staying calm when encountering the worst criticism. I was in a meeting and she kept yelling very abusive things. I started to leave the meeting but then I rejected these thoughts and sent righteous thoughts in my mind to purge the evil that was using her mouth to speak. In a few seconds she changed, and addressed me very lovingly in her true voice.

In Lecture Two of Zhuan Falun Master writes:

“If he has the heart for cultivation practice, it is his Buddha-nature that has emerged. This heart is considered most precious, and people will help him. Under such difficult circumstances, this person is still not lost and wants to come back. As a result, people will help him and unconditionally give him a hand—they will help him with anything.”

I realize that we should improve more and more, and by leaps and bounds, as we are criticized only because we are required to improve, and everyone is helping us. I often feel that water, walls, leaves, vegetables, cooking vessels, etc. are talking to me, and showing me my attachments.

Certain incidents lead to a point of irritation or loss of patience. One thought that restrains and uproots all of these bad thoughts is, “If Master were watching me would I demonstrate this state?” The answer would be clear and my mind and deeds too.

Memorizing Hong Yin

While making lotus flowers, the mental state required is very serene, as any ordinary bad thoughts or notions lessen the purity in my understanding. So I started memorizing Hong Yin, and reciting it as I worked. This soon became a habit while cooking, walking, etc. I realize that I have become calmer, avoided unnecessary thoughts, and eliminated many bad thoughts and attachments in the process.

Please point out my shortcomings.