Men and Women Should Conduct Themselves Properly in Their Relationships
(Minghui.org) I recently heard about a practitioner who had been jailed after committing wrongdoings in regards to the relationship between men and women. In the past, several practitioners who were sentenced to jail had also made similar mistakes. These persecution cases have caused tremendous damage and, at the same time, serve as warnings to caution practitioners to guard their xinxing in relationships. Mistakes like these could create hardships in our cultivation and in saving sentient beings and could provide an excuse for the old forces to persecute us.
How can we avoid making these kinds of mistakes? I think we should pay attention to our thoughts. Improper sexual conduct is generally despised in our society. There are many ancient stories on the Minghui website that mention how people lost their fortunes and blessings when they committed these kinds of mistakes. As practitioners, we should not do such things. Master has cautioned us many times in lectures in regard to relationships between men and women. If we make such mistakes, we are discrediting Dafa, and the old forces will not let us get away with it and may bring about different negative elements. We should pay attention to this matter and eliminate any thoughts in this regard as soon as they surface.
We should also be on our guard and be cautious of the possible dangers. If you know there is a cliff, don't you stay away from the edge? My understanding is that mistakes made between a man and a woman are not completely related to how well one has eliminated the attachment to lust, but more related to how much important we consider this issue. Some practitioners know that they have not completely rid themselves of the attachment to lust and are very cautious and will constantly remind themselves to avoid making mistakes in this regard. In fact, we can take ancient Chinese advice and avoid mistakes, such as not touching the opposite sex, not staying with another person of the opposite sex in a room by ourselves, watching our behavior, and keeping righteous thoughts.
Those who are more prone to making mistakes often think that, because they are cultivators, they can handle themselves well and sometimes do not adhere to the conventional reasoning and morals in regard to relationships. This kind of thought is very dangerous. I believe that some practitioners have cultivated well and might have little attachment to lust. However, this is not a question of the level of cultivation, but whether one is being responsible to Dafa and treasuring cultivation. Master has emphatically talked about the severe consequences of making mistakes in this regard, so why are some practitioners taking risks? Why can't they see that this is a serious problem? Aren't they gambling with their lives if they keep running towards the cliff? As long as we are cultivating in the human world, we cannot completely eliminate our attachments. Moreover, our society is already polluted in this matter, and there will be more problems in the long run if one continues down this road.
A practitioner who cultivated well lived in an apartment with another practitioner of the opposite sex for a period of time, and eventually committed mistakes and was jailed for five years. This was a serious lesson. Even if one's xinxing is good, one should take into consideration the effect in has on others and be strict with oneself. I suggest that practitioners who still have attachments in this regard, those who are not husband and wife but are often together, or those who like to flirt, immediately correct this behavior. As the Fa-rectification approaches the end, any irresponsible conduct toward oneself or Dafa could be a loophole to be taken advantage of.
In addition, practitioners who are husband and wife but who don't get along also need to pay special attention to this issue. The reason you don't get along is because there are loopholes in your cultivation. If you have attachments of sentimentality and don't guard yourselves against improper relationships outside of marriage, it will be very easy to commit mistakes.
A practitioner who was having trouble with his practitioner wife shared with another female practitioner. This was a very dangerous move, and men and women should avoid each other in certain regards. This female practitioner was “feeling lonely” at the time. The two became closer as they talked. In the evening, she wanted him to stay over and said that they would be careful since they were both practitioners and nothing would happen. When the female practitioner grabbed his arm, the male practitioner sensed that it was not proper and left. This female practitioner later committed mistakes with another male practitioner, and they were both persecuted. We should be cautious and not get involved in dangerous situations. The farther away we stay from the cliff, the better off we will be.
When one makes this kind of mistake, it is better to share it publicly. Master has mentioned this in “Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference.” A practitioner made mistakes and didn't talk about them. Master gave him many opportunities and practitioners shared in this regard. He had also met practitioners who had made this mistake and were persecuted, but he would not talk about himself. He was eventually persecuted and regretted it when he realized his improper behavior was the cause of the persecution.
It is an honor to cultivate in Dafa. We should especially treasure it in this final stage. We should cherish Master's benevolence and seize the last opportunity to save sentient beings and avoid creating hardships for our cultivation and having any regrets.
Let's review what Master said in “Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference III):
“Teacher: I think I talked about it just now, I've already talked about this issue. The things certain people have done make them undeserving of even the title 'Dafa student'! They don't even deserve to be called 'human beings,' and yet they still call themselves 'Dafa disciples'?! I'm waiting for you--do you not realize that?!
“Sometimes when I see the things that you do it really makes me sad. Yet if I were to really give up on you, that would really pain me, too. I really don't want to abandon you just like that. But you just won't strive to improve! You just won't perform honorably! And you're even tarnishing the reputation of Dafa and doing things that are even undeserving of the title of "human being," yet you still call yourself a Dafa disciple! Let me put it this way, what I said just now is for all of those who have done things that are undeserving of the status of Dafa disciples. You'd better tell people about those things openly. That way, many things of yours will be eliminated, and at the same time it will make you really strengthen your resolve [to correct your behavior]. I'm telling you that for you time is really limited now. For all of you who've done those bad things--and I'm not including those who've already corrected themselves, I'm talking about those who are still doing the bad things, and those who are providing information to China's evil Communist scoundrel gang--the moment I truly give up on you is the moment you go down to hell! I'm really not just trying to scare you. Because it hasn't ended yet it is still an opportunity for all beings. Master has been waiting for you over and over again!”