China Fahui | Cultivating My Heart and Mind at All Times
(Minghui.org) I recently dreamed that Master gave me an enormous pen. I knew Master wanted me to write an article on my cultivation experiences.
I am a primary school teacher and I started to practice Falun Dafa in 1996. I went through countless tribulations in my past 17 years of cultivation. However I have been able to overcome them and persevere in cultivation due to Master's teachings and His protection.
Master taught us:
“Here amidst the secular world, it is all up to you to walk the path correctly and to go beyond ordinary people when immersed in this complicated setting. Everything that ordinary people seek; everything that ordinary people want to gain; everything that ordinary people act on, say, and do—all of this is, for you, what needs to be cultivated away.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan” 2006)
After years of cultivating I finally understood that when threatened with the possible loss of material interest, reputation and loved ones, in the face of pain and hardship, one should always remember to act according to the requirements of a practitioner and guard one's heart and mind nature, or xinxing. It is extremely important not to be affected by human sentiments in such situations.
In these last ten years of my cultivation many times I was able to conduct myself as a practitioner. I will share a few examples that bear testament to the magnificence of Dafa.
Guarding My Xinxing During Tests of Fame, Interest and Emotion
It is truly difficult to let go of one's attachments to fame, interest and emotions in this secular world. I understood that since I want to practice cultivation, I should truly cultivate myself. Regardless of how hard it is, I have to get rid of my attachments. Master said that: “When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible.” (Lecture Nine in Zhuan Falun) In the course of my cultivation, I find Master's words are indeed correct.
Letting Go of Selfishness and Being Considerate of Others
The pursuit of fame follows one like a shadow. This is especially true in my work environment - a school. Throughout the year, several competitions are held to assess teachers' performances. This is closely linked to teachers' reputation and personal interest. It became so natural for me to seek fame that I could not easily detect it. Every time a competition was held I was exhilarated. If my rank was at the bottom, I was crestfallen. After I became a practitioner, I still worked hard but no longer fought for recognition or material gain. Gradually, I learned to take fame and gain lightly and was able to conduct myself according to the requirements of a cultivator.
I used to care a lot about how others thought of me and did not like to be criticized. After I began cultivating, I worked hard to get rid of this attachment. Sometimes I did not do well and stumbled in tribulations. I would then recite the Fa. I learned to let go of this attachment bit by bit. Now, I can face criticism lightheartedly.
A fellow practitioner once told me someone had accused me of taking 10,000 yuan from a materials production site. My immediate response was: “Who said that? That's a lie.” I realized that I was upset. I'm a practitioner and I shouldn't be affected by such comments. I calmed down and searched for my shortcomings. Why did I hear these words? I understood in a flash my heart has to be more forgiving and I should raise my xinxing. I smiled at the practitioner and said to her: “All right, let's not talk about this anymore. We should focus on saving people.” I brushed aside the false accusation.
As soon as I said this, I felt the sky brighten. I looked up and there were colorful lights amidst dark clouds. When I looked more closely, I was stunned. An enormous celestial maiden was smiling at me. Her clothes and sash were emitting bright lights. This was the first time I saw a flying heavenly deity with my naked eyes.
I knew this was encouragement from Master because I had guarded my xinxing when accused of something I did not do. I thank this practitioner for providing me with an opportunity to elevate my xinxing. I'm even more grateful to Master for his compassion and constant guidance.
I helped over 10,000 people renounce the Party in the past three years. Usually I am able to remain calm and act like a practitioner when facing all kinds of people. This hasn't been easy and it was a long cultivation process for me.
When I first began to clarify the truth to people face to face I met two young men riding a motorcycle. I took out a DVD and before I could open my mouth, one of them said to me rudely: “Move aside.” I did not move because I wanted to tell them about the DVD. The other lad said: “Go away, don't give things to people.” They moved on and several meters ahead, I could hear them calling me a crazy person. There was a small lane in front and I quickly hid in it. I could not stop my tears of grievance.
I asked myself: “Did I do anything wrong? Why did this happen?” I was treated as if had stolen something. I looked within myself and found the problem. I was afraid of losing face and did not like to be censured by others. In other words, I was seeking fame. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate this attachment. I did not blame them for scolding me. It was a result of the propaganda spread by the communist regime. I must expose these lies and save those who were deceived by it.
I calmed down and walked out of the alley. The young men were gone. I walked on and saw three men talking on the street. I walked up to them leisurely and struck up a conversation: “I would like to give you a DVD of an amazing dance performance. Do you have a VCD player at home?” One of them asked: “What performance?” I briefly introduced Shen Yun to them.
I gave each one a DVD and one of them commented: “I guess this is about Falun Gong.” I told them many of the artists in the show are Falun Gong practitioners and the programs showcase China's divine culture. I also explained to them what Falun Gong is, why the CCP is persecuting the practitioners as well as why the practitioners are risking their lives to tell people the truth about the persecution. I asked if they were members of the Party and its affiliated organizations. I urged them to withdraw their membership in order to have a good future.
One youth pointed to his companion: “He is a factory manager and a Party member. Please help him withdraw first.” I looked at the factory manager and asked: “Is it true?” He answered: “Yes and I would like to renounce my party membership. The government does not do good things for its citizens and I want to keep a distance from it. My factory is not far from here. You can send me information about Falun Gong. I would like to read them. If I'm not around, you can hand them to my workers and tell them it's for me.” The other two men eagerly said they wished to renounce their party membership. I gave them aliases and helped them withdraw from the Communist Party. I also asked them to remember that Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.
The factory manager gave “thumbs up” and said, “You are remarkable. You are not afraid to tell people the truth about Falun Gong in spite of the persecution.” I replied earnestly: “I'm not remarkable. It is Falun Dafa and my Master who is extraordinary.”
I know this is Master's way of encouraging me. He has paved the way for me. I gradually became better at explaining the facts to people face to face. I did not wallow in self pity when I was ridiculed. Neither did I argue with others when I was questioned or get upset when I was reprimanded. I did not become elated when people praised me. I clarified the truth to people with kindness and saved sentient beings with compassion.
One evening on my way home from work, I ran into a couple waiting for the bus outside a hospital. I walked up to them and asked if they had a VCD player at home. The man started to scold me. His voice was very loud and his swearing intensified. His wife joined in and many passersby stopped to watch the commotion.
I could not get a word in and sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil factors stopping them from being saved. At the same time, I reflected on my thoughts and realized that I had become zealous because my earlier efforts had gone well. After a while, they lowered their voices and I took the opportunity to clarify the truth to them. Everyone listened to me quietly.
The bus came and I concluded by saying: “Everyone, please quickly read Falun Gong brochures. Quickly withdraw from the Communist Party.” Usually people fought with each other to get on the bus first, but this time there was no shoving and nobody made a sound. Everyone was deep in thought and I knew that my words had affected them.
The bus left and I sent righteous thoughts to thoroughly disintegrate any evil elements that may stop that bus load of people from being saved. Although these people had no time to withdraw from the Party right then, our brief encounter would lay a foundation so they could withdraw from the Party in the future.
When I practiced the sitting meditation that night, I saw several demons dashing towards me. I shouted the formula for Fa rectification loudly. Countless Falun wheels appeared and destroyed the demons. Next, a few huge demons appeared. They did not assault me but instead stared at me with anger and hatred. One by one, they retreated backwards. I thought to myself, “The demons are angry. This must be a good thing.” I saw Master laughing with joy and this gave me tremendous confidence.
Letting Go of Material Gain
I had a strong attachment towards material gains before I became a practitioner. However as a cultivator, I had to follow the requirements of Dafa. I went through an arduous cultivation process to eliminate this attachment.
My husband was a train conductor. Before I became a practitioner, we never paid for train tickets. However after I started practicing, I should conduct myself according to the requirements of a cultivator. I should pay for tickets whenever I took the train. I was a little reluctant to do this in the beginning. Master gave me hints. In my dreams, I bought the tickets for half the journey in order to save money. When I boarded the train, I held the ticket in one hand and in the other hand, I had an IOU note and the loan amount written on it was the ticket price for the other half of the journey. I woke up and understood that Master was telling me the money I skimped on was recorded in other dimensions. After that I did not feel unhappy at all whenever I had to pay for a train ride.
On one occasion, I bought a fruit that cost one fifty yuan. I gave the seller a five dollar note which had a truth clarification message on it. He thought I gave him a 10 dollar note and gave me eight fifty back. I returned the extra money to him. He was very grateful and insisted on giving me additional fruit. I turned down his offer politely and clarified the truth to him. He kept reciting “Falun Dafa is good!” Such incidents happened frequently.
“He does not care at all in his heart for any ordinary human matter, and he will always be smiling and in good spirits. No matter how much loss he suffers, he will still be smiling and in good spirits without any concern.” (Lecture Nine in Zhuan Falun)
My neighbor seized the piece of land behind my barn. At first, I didn't realize it. When someone told me about it later, I was a little upset. However I remembered that everything happens to a practitioner for a reason.
In “Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”, Master said:
“... when a cultivator truly suffers some form of loss he simply laughs it off. That is the state that you should have, and that is what you must achieve, for you are not ordinary people and you seek to transcend their state of being.”
Recalling Master's teachings, I knew clearly in my heart how I should handle this situation. Isn't a practitioner supposed to take material losses lightly? I dismissed the loss of my personal property as if nothing happened and let it go peacefully.
Ever since I started cultivation, I tactfully returned all kinds of gifts given by students' parents. I took the opportunity to clarify the truth to them and often the results are very positive. One parent bought me a silk top on teacher's day. I asked my student to return it and the next morning, the child brought it back. I persuaded her to take it home. Her mother came to school the next morning and again I turned down the gift politely. I told her the facts about Falun Gong and she agreed to withdraw from the Communist Party.
Some teachers helped businesses promote their products to students in return for a fee. I turned away such offers and all my colleagues commented that I have truly changed.
As a practitioner, whether you are able to guard your xinxing when tempted with material benefits and willingly part with losses is reflected in all aspects. My father-in-law passed away this year. It is customary for colleagues at one's work place to pitch in money for a consolation gift. My supervisor gave me the gift and I returned it. That night I had a dream. From a small path I walked onto a painted road that was 200 meters wide. I was busy saving people and hurried along the way.
My body and mind felt relaxed and at ease after I let go of my attachment to material gains.
Letting Go of Sentimentality Toward Family Members
For me, letting go of fame is difficult and so is letting go of material gains. But letting go of sentiments is the hardest of them all.
When my mother was alive, she doted on me and I was extremely reliant on her. She passed away before I became a practitioner. I grieved so hard after she died that I became ill. Yet she often harmed me in my dreams and I didn't understand why.
Once I dreamed of meeting my mother on the road and I shouted “Mom!” She walked towards me and suddenly reached out and strangled me with both hands. She turned into a hideous ghost. I shouted loudly: “Falun Dafa is good!” and she vanished in an instant. I woke up and realized that I should let go of this attachment to sentimentality since I have become a cultivator.
On another occasion, my mother was crying in my dreams. She asked me to visit my third elder sister who was possessed by a spirit and had become delirious. My mother cried and hugged me, saying how pitiful my third sister was. She told me I must visit her. I also wept very bitterly and when I awoke, my pillow was wet.
I recalled Master's teachings:
“...your parents have passed away. They told you to do some things... all of which are things that you should not do. If you do them, it will be bad. It is just so tough to be a practitioner.” (Lecture Six in Zhuan Falun)
“If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What takes over in its place is benevolence, which is something more noble.” (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun)
Indeed, I am a practitioner and should listen to Master's words. I must guard my xinxing and not be swayed by human attachments.
I dreamed of sleeping next to my mother on another occasion. She told me: “In a past life, I was appointed a high ranking official in court. However the position was given to you in the end.” She then tried to stab me with a poisonous needle. I snatched the needle and broke it. The poison flowed out.
I woke up and reflected on my dream. My mother has been disturbing me endlessly because I had not gotten rid of my sentimentality to her completely. I sent righteous thoughts to settle our bitter past with benevolent solutions. I said to my mother: “I don't know what predestined relationship we had. Irregardless of what happened in the past, don't cause trouble for me. I am now doing the most righteous thing in the universe and whoever interferes will be committing a sin. No matter what I owe you, I will give you the best settlement when I reach consummation.”
I also read to her Master's teachings on benevolent solutions:
“You can have this thought: 'During the Fa-rectification of the cosmos, I can make a reasonable arrangement for those of you who don't interfere with my validating the Fa; I can have you become beings in the future. Those of you who seek a benevolent resolution should leave me and wait in my surroundings. If you really cannot leave me, then don't have any part in interfering with me. In the future I will be able to achieve Consummation, and I will offer you a benevolent resolution. Those who are completely bad, who still interfere with me and who cannot remain will, according to the standards, have to be eliminated. Even if I don't eliminate you, the Law of the cosmos won't let you remain.'” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York”)
Since then, she never came back to disturb me and I thoroughly overcame my sentimentality toward my mother.
My husband passed away four years ago. After he died, I did not go to work for six months. I read the Fa and did the exercises. Yet I wept constantly and was deeply moved. My daughter dragged me to Master's portrait and said to me: “Mother, you should be diligent in cultivation and not have any regrets later on.” Master was even more worried for me. Once, I heard his voice saying, “Knowing not the great peril at hand”. (“Diamond-like Will” in Hong Yin Vol. II) I became a lot more sober. I cannot let Master worry about me.
I saw another me in my dream one day. That me was with my deceased husband and she asked him to take her away. My husband lifted her and departed. I shouted at him loudly: “Let her go!” I then shouted to that me: “You cannot leave with him!” My husband dropped that me down and ran away.
Before this, I often dreamed of being with my husband and did not pay much attention to these dreams. However that day I felt the severity of the problem. Master said: “If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation.” (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun)
I resolved to let go of this sentimentality from now on. I spent a lot of time reading the Fa and further understood the purpose for my coming to the human world: To assist Master in Fa rectification and save sentient beings.
I stopped sitting at home, and went out to clarify the truth and save people. I clarified the truth to a distant relative and they withdrew from the Party. One elderly couple listened and quit the Party. Their daughter-in-law returned home from work a few minutes later. I told her the facts of the persecution and she too quit the affiliated organizations. I cleared up some questions she had and the whole family understood the truth.
From then on, unless it was raining heavily, I never skipped one day to clarify the truth and save people.
My daughter is my only child and my devotion to her has brought me endless worry. I was especially afraid that she would not be diligent and fall behind in Fa rectification. I knew that I had to remove this sentimentality too. Master gave me hints again. I dreamed of being with my daughter. I said to her: “I want to let go of my affection towards you, but I don't know how.” My daughter smiled and answered: “That's easy. Just don't think about anything.”
I understood at once that whatever you think about constantly is an attachment. If you stop worrying about it, you'll let go of that attachment. Every time I worried about my daughter or developed an attachment, I would study the Fa. Through reading Master's teachings, my sentimentality weakened and gradually I was able to let go of the attachment.
One time, a demon told me fiercely in my dreams something was going to happen to my daughter. I cried my heart out. When I awoke, I knew this was an illusion transformed by the old forces in an attempt to harm us. Master's teachings came to my mind: “...just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” in Essentials for Further Advancement II) I guarded my xinxing and was not swayed. I persevered in reading the Fa, doing the exercises, sending righteous thoughts and saving people. I did not think of anything else and my mind was very steady.
In cultivation, I truly experienced what Master taught:
“Cultivation practice must take place through tribulations so as to test whether you can part with and care less about different kinds of human sentimentality and desires. If you are attached to these things, you will not succeed in cultivation.” (Lecture Four in Zhuan Falun)
(1) Taking Hardship as Joy and Taking Pleasure in Practicing Cultivation
Enduring Pain During the Sitting Meditation
The first day I went to the practice site, I tried the sitting meditation double lotus position. I could pull up both legs easily but they began to hurt after assuming the posture. I gritted my teeth and endured the pain for a long time. I looked at my watch but only five minutes had gone by. Each time I did the meditation I endured the pain and finished the exercise by counting the minutes. The first day I could sit for half an hour. The pain in my legs gradually diminished. Half a month later, I could sit for 45 minutes and six months after that I extended the time to one hour. I went through a lot of hardship. To sit with both legs pulled up for more than 50 minutes, I endured the pain and held on by counting the seconds. I set a rule for myself: The time I spent in sitting meditation must increase each day. I could not sit for a shorter time than I had the day before.
After a year I could sit for 100 minutes. At the practice site, I would sometimes practice the sitting meditation alone after other practitioners left. Later I practiced the sitting meditation at home, usually for an hour a a half. My legs would start to hurt after 75 minutes. I would hang on for another 15 minutes.
Once I said to my husband jokingly: “You take money and wealth lightly. I cannot compare with you. However I can endure hardship better than you.” I suffered for a long time as a result of my careless remarks. That night, my legs started to hurt after 45 minutes. I understood at once that this was a consequence of my casual remarks. I did not cultivate speech. The pain was unbearable, just like when I first practiced the sitting meditation. It was as if my body was in spasms and I broke out in a cold sweat. I nearly wanted to give up. I kept thinking: “I must persevere. It was my fault for not cultivating speech. I deserve it.”
An hour later my body and legs were writhing with pain. I kept reciting the phrase from Lecture Nine in Zhuan Falun: “When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible.” I hung on for one and a half hours, then gently moved my legs. My face was covered with sweat and tears.
This experience taught me cultivation is a serious matter and I became more strict with myself. I would sit in double lotus whenever I was reading the Fa.
By 2011, I could sit in this posture for four hours. My legs were soft and flexible. I could pull them up into this position without using my hands and sit for four or five hours and they would not hurt much. At work, as long as there is nobody around, I would study the teachings in this posture.
I extended the time sitting with both legs up slightly for several days this year. One day, I sat for nine and a half hours. After five hours, the soles of my feet started to feel cold and discharge bad substances. Eight hours later, the cool sensation disappeared and my legs began to radiate heat. Warm currents flowed through my body and I felt very comfortable. I wanted to sit in this posture longer. I reluctantly put my legs down at nine and a half hours as I ran out of time. I moved about for one to two minutes and my legs felt normal again. I sat for eight hours on a few occasions and every time, it felt even more pleasant as time went by. My record was 12 hours and in the end, I had to get up because I didn't have time to continue. I never felt that I could not endure sitting like that. During this time, I did not eat or drink and was not thirsty nor hungry. The magical powers of Dafa are unfathomable.
(2) Breaking Through Fatigue
I suffered from severe insomnia before I began practicing and could not fall asleep even at 2 in the morning. During the day I was listless. After I obtained the Fa, I became drowsy whenever I read the Fa and could not remember what I read. However I did not give up and would read Master's teachings whenever I had time.
I did the exercises twice a day, in the morning and at night because of my poor health. Master said that doing the exercises is the best form of rest. Since my sleep quality was poor I thought I might as well do the exercises more often. Indeed, after I did the exercises, my whole body felt relaxed. My health was even better after I studied the Fa. My mind became clearer. I wanted to spend more time reading the Fa and doing the exercises but how could I find the time? I had no choice but to sleep less.
I usually went to bed around 9 p.m. After I began the practice, I stayed up until after 10 p.m. I slept less but my sleep quality was excellent. I was more alert in the day. Even though I slept fewer hours I was more energetic. How extraordinary Dafa is. As I continued to learn the Fa and did the exercises, Master kept cleansing my body. I used to suffer from many illnesses such as heart disease, rheumatism, panic attacks and so on. I regained my health.
We had to study the Fa, do the exercises and clarify the truth to people after the persecution began. Thus I changed my routine and did the exercises in the morning. I carried out Fa validation activities at night without fail every day. When Master asked us to send righteous thoughts in 2001, the first few days, I did not even hear the alarm go off. I thought: this won't do. I cannot be slack in what Master has asked us to do.
I decided to go to sleep after midnight to make sure I didn't miss sending righteous thoughts at 12 a.m. My sleep was reduced to less than four hours a day consequently. Initially I was so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open and I could not study the Fa well. I washed my face when I was overwhelmed with fatigue, but all these were human methods. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
Later, I switched to going out to distribute truth-clarification brochures whenever I became drowsy. This was very effective, so I adjusted my routine. After sending righteous thoughts at 6 p.m, I would study the teachings first then go out and distribute brochures. I returned at 11:30 p.m, sent righteous thoughts and I did not feel tired at all. I went to work in the morning and was full of energy as before.
Master taught in “Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference”: “...always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank.” Since Master wants us to practice cultivation as if we were just starting and doing the exercises are the best form of rest, I should do all five sets of exercises twice a day. So, since the end of 2009, I started to do the exercises twice a day again. I gradually extended the time I spent reading the Fa from one lecture to two lectures then three lectures a day. I also increased the time for righteous thoughts. I routinely sent righteous thoughts for 70 minutes at night and around half an hour at other times. I read one lecture at the group Fa study at 7:30 a.m. During the day, I spent most of my time clarifying the truth to people face to face. In the evening, after sending righteous thoughts, several practitioners come to my house and we study one lecture together. I continued to read one more lecture after practitioners depart followed by exercises, writing or reading other materials all through the night, forgoing sleep.
I only work on public holidays which is the same as retirement. Master gave me signs that I should spend more time studying the Fa. Where can I find the time to do that? I stood in front of Master's portrait seeking guidance for this predicament. A thought came to my mind. Why don't I read one more lecture after sending righteous thoughts at 12 midnight? I saw Master's eyes in the portrait light up and emitted two rays of white light. His mouth turned up in a smile. I knew I had found the right solution. From then onwards, after sending righteous thoughts at midnight, I would offer incense to Master then study the Fa in front of His portrait.
I adjusted my sleep time again at the end of last year. I went to bed at around 7:30 p.m and got up at 9:50 p.m to do the exercises. After that I don't sleep at all. I studied the teachings from 12:30 p.m to 3:40 a.m. I sleep around two hours every day. Inspired by Master, I knew I should progress towards divinity from a human being.
Lately I slept less than two hours and the days I stayed awake overnight is increasing gradually. In the past few years, I slept without changing my clothes. I stopped using blankets, bedsheets and pillows on my bed for the past six months. When I'm tired, I simply take a short nap. If I get too comfortable, it'll be hard for me to get up.
“Have you ever thought of the fact that practicing cultivation is the best form of rest? You can obtain the kind of rest that can’t be obtained through sleeping. Nobody would say: “The exercises are making me so tired that I can’t do anything today.” One would only say: “The exercises are making my whole body relaxed and at ease. I don’t feel sleepy after a sleepless night. I feel full of energy.” (“Lecture at the First Conference in North America”)
I do the exercises for four hours a day and sleep for about an hour. That's enough for me to be fully rested. I really went through some hardship in the process of overcoming leg pain during sitting meditation and fatigue.
I always remember Master's words:
“So I am telling you that suffering is not a bad thing. Humans are the only ones who think that suffering is a bad thing, that a life of suffering is not a happy one. Yet for a cultivator, suffering will not only eliminate karma, but also raise one’s level and lead to Consummation.” (“First Fa Teaching Given in the United States” 1996)
I conducted myself according to the requirements of Dafa and strictly guarded my xinxing in the long course of cultivation. I truly experienced the feeling of abundant leisure that comes from regarding suffering as a good thing and taking joy in overcoming hardships.
Lightheartedly Embracing Tribulations and Passing Tests with Master's Help
I had countless tribulations during my cultivation journey. All these were resolved with righteous thoughts and protected by Master. When I look back, these adversities amount as nothing. Yet they tempered my xinxing and will. I understood that every sentence in Master's teachings is transmitting the Buddha Fa's divine power. It's up to you whether you choose to believe or know how to use this power. It is also a test of your faith in the Fa.
(1) Seeing Through Deception
The old forces transformed many false signs of sickness karma. I got rid of the less severe ones with righteous thoughts. For example, my legs would hurt suddenly, sometimes my stomach hurt, I had a headache or my throat became inflamed and so on. I quickly recovered from these small discomforts as long as I had righteous thoughts. I managed to pull through the more severe illusions after sending righteous thoughts for a longer period of time.
I slacked off and played poker with my friends at a work place gathering during the Chinese New Year in 2006. As I sat down, a cold current invaded my body. I did not pay attention to it but I began to cough when I got home. I looked within and realized I shouldn't have played poker. The old forces took advantage of this loop hole and thus I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them. However this did not work and the coughing went on for one month and worsened day by day. I could not clarify the truth to people at all and whenever I opened my mouth to speak I would cough.
I felt that this could not continue as it was affecting my truth-clarification. I decided to send righteous thoughts longer one evening at 6 p.m. I asked Master for help. I was determined to send righteous thoughts continuously if my coughing did not stop. Previously whenever I sent righteous thoughts, I would cough more intensely. This time I ignored the incessant coughing and kept sending righteous thoughts in my heart. The coughing became worse. After sending righteous thoughts for 40 minutes, I was a little breathless and my whole body broke out in a sweat. Every minute was a struggle but I hung on stubbornly and five minutes later the evil was finally defeated. I did not cough so hard anymore and was able to catch my breath. I persisted for another five minutes and recovered completely. I sent righteous thoughts for another five minutes and therefore after one hour of righteous thoughts I was absolutely fine. I went to work the next day and everyone was amazed at my speedy recovery.
On one occasion the evil gave me symptoms of a stroke. The left half of my body became numb, the left side of my neck hardened, my limbs lost their agility but I could still move. I began to send righteous thoughts and cold air discharged from my palms and the soles of my feet. The cold discharge stopped after an hour and a half and I recovered completely. The same symptoms appeared again another time but it was more severe. I sent righteous thoughts for two hours before I got better. In conclusion, the longer time spent in sending righteous thoughts the more effective it is.
I felt unwell one day in April this year after sending righteous thoughts at midnight. My stomach hurt initially then the pain spread to my whole body. I had no strength in my limbs. I wanted to send righteous thoughts but I could not sit up. With great effort, I took out my MP3 player and listened to Master's lectures. I could not even move my hand then.
I was not afraid at all. I listened to the lectures for half the night. When it was time to do the exercises, I could not get up and continued to listen to the Fa. I guarded my xinxing and had complete faith in Master and Dafa. I looked within for any attachments. I will not acknowledge the old forces arrangement whether or not I have any shortcomings. I kept listening to my MP3 player with one thought in mind: “....with the master and the Fa here what is there to fear?” (“Lecture in Sydney”) I listened to the recording till 2 p.m and felt a little better. I could get up. I did the exercises, all five sets, once and was back to normal. My sickness karma was removed through listening to the Fa and with righteous thoughts.
I heard a voice say: “Her father died like this and so did her mother” one day last winter. I was shown a sight where my husband's whole body was swollen. I smiled and said to the illusion: “Your words don't count at all. My Master decides everything. He taught us: '...because the Dafa disciples are my disciples, and nobody else is worthy of handling them.'” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students”)
One morning two days later, I woke up feeling something was amiss. My body felt stiff and my stomach suddenly swelled. I showed my daughter and she was shocked. She calmed down at once and said: “Mother, don't be afraid.” I laughed: “Why should I fear it?” I continued with what I had planned to do. I went out riding my bicycle to clarify the truth to people. At the end of the day, I came home and was fine.
The same symptoms appeared the next day. Still I went on as normal, studying the Fa and going out to tell people the facts about the persecution. Again I was fine at the end of the day. Such symptoms never appeared after that.
The old forces changed tactics and said to me: “We will make you suffer.” I laughed and said to them: “I deny your arrangements. They don't count.” I got ready to distribute flyers after sending righteous thoughts at 6 p.m that evening. I stood up and my legs hurt as if pricked by needles. I recalled Master's teachings about how he froze the old forces. I said to them: “You will feel pain in the same spot where you caused me pain. I refused to accept any of your arrangements. You are afraid of me going out to give out brochures and saving people. You cannot stop me for one moment.” I took the brochures and walked out. My legs did not seem to hurt as much. They were all right when I returned home.
The illusion of sickness karma transformed by the old forces that lasted the longest was in August 2008. One day, after sending righteous thoughts to help a fellow practitioner, a small lump emerged on my third finger. It grew bigger, the skin ruptured and discharged pus. Later, my entire arm was infected and pus came out of every finger. It was unbearably itchy. The old forces said: “We gave you a poisonous injection.” I told it: “'I'm Li Hongzhi's disciple, I don't want other arrangements or acknowledge them.'” (“Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference”)
Despite continuously searching for any attachments that I still had and sending righteous thoughts, the situation deteriorated. It extended to my wrists. By October 1, 2010, my arm had been red and sore for more than two years. I recalled a paragraph in Master's teachings where a disciple said his body would still be sitting there even if his head was cut off. Indeed, I already obtained the Fa so what was there to be afraid of? I resolved not to be affected by it and let Master take care of everything, so I stopped thinking of this when I sent righteous thoughts. It was as if nothing had happened. I simply did the three things well. Then, a miracle happened. On the third day, the itching stopped. My arm was smooth and blemish free by the fourth day. It was the same as before. The arm which festered for two years was completely fine in four days.
This experience taught me that Master will help us when we truly let go of our attachments. Words cannot describe how I felt then.
The evil came up with tests of life and death for me, time and again. I cleared these hurdles with the power given by Master and righteous thoughts. Two large black and white photos appeared in front of my eyes one day. They resembled portraits of the deceased hinting at my approaching death. A demon said to me viciously: “You died twice already.” I thought to myself: “I've passed tests of life and death twice. I'm fine.” This single thought that was not on the Fa caused me countless trouble. The evil moved another eight large black and white photos of me. I arduously went through another two tests of life and death. Through studying the Fa, I realized that I had stepped on to the path arranged by the old forces.
While reciting the Fa one day, I encountered especially great interference and had to stop reciting. I began to study the teachings after sending righteous thoughts at night. I had a terrible headache but I refused to acknowledge the evil's arrangement. I strengthened my faith in Master and Dafa and continued reading another lecture. The headache eased a little and I saw red patches in the book. Rays of purple and blue light emitted from my celestial eye and I saw an enormous peach. My head stopped hurting and I heard a small boy's voice say: “She's come back to life.” The sound was loud and clear. Perhaps the evil in the other dimensions wanted to kill me, but Master thwarted their plans.
One day, I saw a huge mountain when I went to bed after sending righteous thoughts at midnight. The mountain was very high and there were two rings just like the lens of a camera at its peak aimed at me. I quickly got up and sent righteous thoughts. Thick, black smoke emitted from the two apertures billowing towards me. I yelled out: “Master please help.” The fumes dispersed at once and the entire huge mountain collapsed layer after layer, dissolving into muddy water. The whole mountain was reduced to nothing in a short time.
The evil resorted to battling with me directly. They pushed me when I sent righteous thoughts or during sitting meditation. I got up at once and sent righteous thoughts to eliminate them. At times when I felt that I had insufficient prowess, I asked Master for help. As long as I maintained a cultivator's xinxing, I could eliminate the evil in the blink of an eye.
I walked up to Master's portrait and prepared to send righteous thoughts one evening at 5:50 p.m. Upon reaching a tranquil state, a huge demon appeared on my left and shoved me. I called out loudly: “The Fa rectifies the cosmos the evil is completely eliminated. Master please save me,” and demon vanished instantly. I held one palm erect and a giant demon appeared on my right wielding a huge stick. It struck my head with it and I shouted the same words. That demon disappeared as well.
I regained my composure and proceeded to send righteous thoughts. A demon holding a round thing resembling a pot cover came rushing towards me. I yelled out for help once again and this demon retreated as well.
I sat straight up and continued to send righteous thoughts. I released my legs an hour later and glanced at Master's photo. Master was smiling at me! I wept with gratitude. Once again I experienced the happiness and glory of basking in the compassion Master has shown me.
Master got me out of dangerous situations. One day I went to bed at 3 a.m after sending righteous thoughts and reading two lectures. As I laid down, black fumes began to surround me. Just as I was going to send righteous thoughts, I saw Master appear in the air. He stretched out an enormous hand and all the fumes gathered in his palms. His hand absorbed all the fumes instantaneously and the earth brightened up. I am grateful to Master for resolving this great tribulation. Who knows what great hardships he has borne for me.
“No matter what it is you have encountered as you've gone about validating the Fa, it is all, I will tell you, a good thing--and that's especially so in these years of persecution--for those things have come about specifically because you do cultivation. Those ordeals and the suffering, no matter how great or harsh you find them to be, are good things, because they take place solely on account of your cultivation. A person can eliminate karma and shed human attachments when he goes through ordeals, and through ordeals he can improve.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference”)
I'm Indebted to Master's Infinite Grace
Master has been compassionately guiding and protecting me all these years. I finished sending righteous thoughts at 12:30 a.m one day and just as I planned to lie down and rest for a while, a large character “study” appeared on my ceiling. I immediately got up and studied the Fa.
Two large characters “Dafa” appeared on the ceiling the next day at the same time. Master was reminding me not to be lazy and to study the Fa. Master is always beside me protecting and guiding me.
One time, I faced tests one after another and was under pressure. When I sent righteous thoughts that night, I was shown a giant tree in another dimension. A large magpie stood on the tree and I knew this was a sign telling me the tribulations I was having was a good thing. They were opportunities for me to improve and elevate.
Many miracles also happened to my body. For instance my body would shoot up to several stories high at times or be reduced to the size of a sesame seed. When I did the exercises an array of colorful lights emanated from my chest. Once, two plum blossoms appeared on my legs shining with silver light. Sometimes I saw flying deities, or Falun while reading the Fa. The characters in the book became enlarged and bright. Other times, the book turned into a piece of light green jade and every character was embedded inside the jade. One day when I was doing the second exercise, I saw my body was inside a giant Boddhisattva.
I was sending righteous thoughts on August 30 this year in the morning when I heard Master's voice ringing in the air: “You should make the final sprint.” Indeed, if I don't hurry up and be more diligent in my practice now, there will be no opportunities in future. This rare and precious opportunity will be gone in an instant!
In my 18 years of cultivation, I changed one notion. I used to regard cultivation as a part of my life. My priority was on my daily life. Now I treat everyday activities as a small portion of my existence. I go to work, eat and sleep simply to satisfy the requirements of an everyday person leading a normal life. They provide me with a cultivation environment. My true purpose in the human world is to assist Master in Fa rectification and save people. I should fully immerse myself in doing the three things Master asked us to do. This should be my focus while other matters are just complementary.
“Cultivation depends on one’s own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One in Zhuan Falun) We live in the big dye vat of everyday people and must always remind ourselves that we are cultivators. We don't pursue fame, material interest or sentiments. We assimilate to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and regard suffering as a good thing. As cultivators, this is the state we should have.
What I feel most deeply after 18 years of cultivation practice is: Master's grace is infinite and cannot be repaid. As a disciple all I can do in return is to be more diligent in cultivation.
I bow to Master and thank fellow practitioners!