I Changed from a Person Who Wanted Revenge into a Person Who Sees Saving Lives as My Mission
(Minghui.org) I was born into a very poor farmer's family, and my mother was weak and had multiple illnesses. My siblings were young, and the livelihood for my whole family depended on my father's earnings doing farm work. Our life was a struggle. I started working in the fields like an adult when I was 10 years old. In my village, many families have the surname Lu. My family and a few other families have the surname Wang. My family was often bullied. When I was 16, my father was involved in an accident and his leg was fractured. Because my mother was sick and could not work, my whole family lost our income.
With no other choice, I married a village man surnamed Lu and gave birth to two girls. My husband frequently punched and kicked me, and he even threatened to break my legs. He also threatened my parents. I was fed up with him and hated him; I always thought of taking revenge on him. After many difficulties and frustrations, we finally divorced. My children and everything we owned were awarded to him; I lost everything.
Later, I married my current husband, and we had a baby boy. Although we were poor, we worked together and ran a small business. Over time, we accumulated some savings. We built a house and our son grew up. Around that time, my desire to seek revenge on my first husband flared up again. I made up my mind to work hard and save money, with the ultimate goal of revenge.
However, things did not go as I expected. I started feeling sick; a medical exam showed that I had lung cancer. I and my whole family was shocked by the diagnosis. We were soaked in misery and despair. Later, a kind person introduced me to a private clinic and told me that the medicine there was affordable. The clinic was run by an elderly Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor surnamed Chen, and he was very kind. Every time I went to him for treatment, while he was treating me, he comforted me and said, “Don't worry. Illness can be treated.” He also said that he wanted to give me three words to remember: Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. He said, “If you remember these three words and believe in the three words, you are guaranteed good fortune in your life.”
It was probably not my time to begin practicing Dafa yet because I did not keep his advice in mind. However, one day in 2004, my aunt came to see me. She gave me a cassette player and the audio tapes of Master's Fa lecture in Guangzhou. With her advice, I started listening to the tapes. The more I listened the more I liked to listen, and the more I listened, the more I felt the lectures touch my mind. In the Fa lectures Master taught us to be a good person and then to be a better person. It was not like how Falun Dafa was conveyed in the newspapers, TV, and radio broadcasts; I realized that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) used its media to deceive people and slander Falun Dafa. That was when I began my journey on the path of cultivation and my returning to my true origin.
Soon after I started cultivating Dafa, all the illnesses I had, including lung cancer, hypertension, arm numbness, and so on, all disappeared. I felt like Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“... as though treading on air. In the past, you would be tired if you walked a few steps, but now it is very easy no matter how far you walk. You feel as if being pushed while riding a bike, and you are not tired when going upstairs—no matter how many floors there are.” (“Lecture Eight”)
I really felt energetic without any illness, and I was light-hearted every day, all day long. I worked happily, listened to the Fa, did the exercises happily, and I introduced the Fa to the people around me. I was filled with joy.
Overcoming Barrier after Barrier, Persistently Cultivating Dafa
I could not read; so I learned the Fa by listening to Master's Fa lectures on the audio recording and watching Master's Fa lectures on videotape. I was a high school janitor. My job included cleaning the classrooms, offices, conference rooms, restrooms, and the sports field. I worked more than 10 hours a day, and I often helped the teachers and students to collect and sell used books and magazines. To study the Fa and to do the exercises, I used any available time, including time before and after meals, and I reduced my sleep time.
My husband's mind was deeply poisoned by the wicked Party. He was afraid of the CCP's cruelty and was afraid of losing his job. He opposed my practicing Falun Gong. One day while I was doing the exercises, he picked up a stool and swung the stool toward my head. I ducked. I then seriously told him, “I am determined to practice Falun Gong, and no one can stop me. No matter whether you beat me or scold me, you will not stop me from practicing Falun Gong.” He got angrier. He picked up the stool and threw it at me. I said, “I am not afraid. I am not an ordinary person. You cannot hit me.” I then asked, “Why are you so heartless? Do you really want to kill me? Why do you want to stop me from practicing Falun Gong? The two of us only earn so little that is only enough for me to go to a hospital a few times. Master purified my body and teaches me to be a good person. My practicing Falun Gong does not interfere with my work and does not interfere with my doing housework. I can still earn a salary for our family, do the laundry, cook meals, and still take care of you...” He said ferociously, “I just want to kill you. I don't need your money and don't need your care.” I felt really hurt and wronged. Tears kept running down my face. I knelt down in front of Master's picture, "Master, Where did I go wrong? Why does he treat me this way?” I cried and cried … At that moment, Master's compassionate voice entered my ear,
“Forbearance is the key to improving one's xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator." ("What is Forbearance (Ren)" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I stood up and quietly said, "Thank you, Master, I understand.”
At noon the next day, my husband (behaving like nothing happened the day before) said to me, "Hi, our father is learning Christianity. We learn Falun Dafa, right?" I smiled and thanked Master. My husband had woken up.
One wave had hardly subsided when another rose. One day a teacher told my husband, “Your wife practices Falun Gong. The school officials found out about it and got angry. The principal said at a school meeting, 'A person has been working in the school for many years, and she has been doing very well. All the teachers and students have a lot of respect for her. Now she practices Falun Gong. We don't allow that. If she continues practicing Falun Gong, we will have to let her go.'”
My husband was afraid I would lose my job, and he again started trying to stop me from practicing Falun Gong. I understood that this must be occurring because I had not studied the Fa well and did not do the three things well. The situation was taken advantage of by the evil. I looked inside for the reason. I found that I had not studied the Fa as diligently as before, and I did not focus my mind on clarifying the truth. Master told us,
"Validate the Fa with rationality, clarify the truth with wisdom, spread the Fa and save people with mercy--this is establishing the mighty virtue of an Enlightened Being." ("Rationality" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I was determined to keep Master's teaching in mind, to study the Fa well, to save more lives, to fulfill my prehistoric vows, and to practice Falun Gong to the end.
The Party Secretary of the Department of Education:"It's really a good idea!”
Master told us many times that saving lives is the mission and responsibility of Dafa disciples. I kept Master's teaching in mind. From studying the Fa, I understood that Fa-rectification has come to the final conclusion and understood that saving lives is urgent. I also understood that as a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, we must seize every minute to clarify the truth and save lives. At home, at work, when visiting friends and relatives, when going to other family's events, when chatting with people, and when traveling, I handed truth-clarification materials to people I encountered and explained the truth to them. I advised them to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations, in order to save them.
At home I explained the truth to my husband, my son, my mother, my siblings, and their families. I told them that the people who hear the truth are fortunate and that whoever believes the truth will receive blessings. Now my whole family knows that Falun Dafa is good and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. They have received blessings one after another. My son ran away from home after he had an argument with his father. He came back home only a dozen days before the college entrance exam. However, he achieved a good score and got accepted by a college. All the teachers and students in his school applauded him. My husband was diagnosed with diabetes. However, his diabetes disappeared soon afterwards. My mother, my brother, and my sisters are all healthy. My whole family believes in Master and Dafa.
There were also people who refused to listen to the truth. They reported me to the school administration, told my family members about me, and created difficulties for me. I maintained my xinxing and patiently answered their questions with a sincere and honest mentality.
One time, a school teacher asked me, "Do you practice Falun Gong?" I said, "Yes. Falun Gong is the best and the most righteous practice in the Buddha School. I conduct myself according to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to be a good person, and I think of others first." I also explained the truth to him (in contrast to the CCP's propaganda) and helped him to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
Another time, I explained the truth to a new colleague while we were doing our work together. However she reported me to the school administration. The school administration personnel talked to me and asked me not to talk about this topic anymore. I said, “Don't worry. I won't do anything wrong. I know what to do." In the evening, I bought some fruit and went to visit her. I explained the truth to her again. Although she did not withdraw from the CCP, it was obvious that her mind was touched. She said, “You are a good person. Thank you. Give me some time.” The next day she left the school and went to another place to work. I understood that Master was helping me to improve my cultivation environment.
I started practicing Falun Gong late. My work was intense, and I did not have much time to learn the Fa and do the exercises. I was very anxious. I thought that I must properly arrange my time and that I did not want to fall behind. I also knew I must do the three things well. I reduced my sleep time, simplified my cooking, and streamlined my housework. I used all the available time to read the Fa and do the exercises. I combined my truth clarification into my work and daily life. No matter who I met and regardless of where I was, I took all opportunities to save lives. Many teachers and students came to understand the truth and withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. They spoke very well about how I conducted myself, and they were very nice to me. They helped me and protected me. They often said, “You are working very hard all day long, and you often helped us without considering yourself. Falun Gong is good. Your Master teaches people to be good people like you. He is great!”
On one occasion, I helped a teacher and sold some scrap for 50 Yuan. I gave the money to him. A while later he told me that the money I gave him was fake money. I did not consider whose fault it was, I just exchanged the money with him. Later he found out that it was someone else who gave him the fake money. He came to me and apologized. I said, "You don't need to apologize. I am an ordinary worker and I cannot tell whether the money is fake money. Since you said the money was fake, I just exchanged it. I could not let the fake money be passed on to others." He was very moved. I then explained the truth to him and helped him withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations. One more life was saved.
One time a Party Secretary of the Education Department came to our school. While he was playing tennis. I brought him some water. During the break, he chatted with me. He said that others had said good things about me and that I worked very hard without thinking about myself. I said, “The teachers and the students of the school all have treated me very well and trusted me. They allowed me to clean important places, and the school administration also takes good care of me. You are also very kind to me. There is not much I can do to pay you back. However, today I want to do something for you. This saying, 'Heaven is eliminating the CCP. Withdrawing from the CCP and its affiliated organizations can secure a safe future' is popular in society, and you may have heard about it. It is true. You may also have heard about the stone with these words carved in it in Guizhou. This is heaven's will. You have to believe it. One should not go against heaven's will! I am a Buddhist. If you believe me, I will find you a lucky name, and when I go to pay respect to Buddha, I will help you to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations in front of Buddha." He smiled, nodded and said, "It's a good idea.”
Master Holds My Hand and Leads Me Forward
From 2004 to the present, I have been cultivating Dafa for nine years. Because I did not have much education and because I started practicing Falun Gong late and did not learn the Fa well, I did not do the three things well. At times my mentality of fear came up and interfered with my truth clarification. I felt that I am not worthy of Master's salvation and that I was not diligent. Master did not give up on me. Master often encouraged me, allowed me see many things in other dimensions, and gave me hints frequently. Master is always with me, encouraging me, and leading me by the hand on the difficult path of returning back to my origin.
My celestial eye is open. Many times on campus, in classrooms, and in the teacher's offices I have seen some students with half of their bodies dark and half bright, some had dark clusters that filled their bodies, some had transparent bodies, and some had bodies that looked like jade ... When I was doing the exercises, I often saw many people in front of me. As soon as I had the thought to have them line up, they lined up in straight lines immediately and started doing the exercise with me. Another time when I was doing the sitting meditation, and I saw a police-like person guarding me.
On one occasion, my aunt and I visited one of my cousins (a fellow practitioner). When we sent righteous thoughts together at noon, I saw that everything in her room, including the utensils and furniture were all a shining golden color. I thought, “A practitioner's home is a land of treasure.”
Soon after I started practicing Falun Gong, my son and I went to Henan Province. We handed out truth-clarification fliers on the train and explained the truth to the passengers. On one occasion when I looked up, I saw Master floating in the air in the lotus position, going along with the train. This lasted for quite a while. At that time I did not know that I had seen Master's law body. Later, when I saw Master's Fa lecture on video, I realized that I had seen Master's law body. I was very happy and felt very fortunate!
One day I sat down to do the sitting meditation. At that time I had not learned how to do the sitting meditation yet and did not know anything about the single lotus position and double lotus position. I just followed the sitting position of the Buddha statue in the temple that I had remembered, with my two hands in heshi position and with my eyes closed. I kept sitting that way; then I felt that my spirit came out of my body. I felt that I was gently floating in the air, and I felt really comfortable! When I thought that I wanted to go back to the ground to do the sitting meditation, I returned to the ground. This lasted for about five minutes.
When I did the the Falun Standing Stance exercise, I saw many Falun (Law Wheels) around me. For a long time after I started practicing Falun Gong, I always felt a Falun spinning at the location of my abdomen, and the feeling was really comfortable. When I recited Lunyu, many times I saw each of the words in “Lunyu” clearly appear in front of my eyes, including those words I did not know. I also saw many times that in my abdomen there was a small figure. I could see the small figure when I read the Fa and did the exercises. However, if my cultivation state was not good, if I did not read the Fa well, or if my righteous thoughts were not strong, I was not able to see it.
Also, when I sent righteous thoughts, I often saw many evil beings lined up; they made motions to attack me. I immediately raised my hand in front of my chest and recited the Fa-rectification verses, “The Fa Rectifies The Cosmos, The Evil Is Completely Eliminated.” At times when I could not eliminate the evil, I would anxiously cry out, “Master, please help me!” As soon as I asked Master for help, the evil beings were eliminated right away.
I often sit quietly by myself and think about these things; before I know it, tears will run down my face. I know from the depth of my heart that in the nine years of my cultivation, Master has helped me a lot. Master saved my life and saved my family. If I had not started practicing Falun Dafa, I might have committed terrible wrongdoing for revenge, and the lung cancer would have already taken my life. There are no words to describe my gratitude towards Master and Dafa. I must cultivate diligently, save as many lives as possible, fulfill my mission, complete my cultivation, and return to my true home following Master!
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!