China Fahui | The Cultivation Journey of a Young Practitioner: I'm Very Fortunate to Begin Practicing Again
(Minghui.org) Greetings, benevolent Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
After graduating from school, I became busy pursuing my career. In order to advance myself, I was forced by my supervisor to start drinking. One night in 2005 I woke up still drunk. I was sickened at what my life had become, and deep inside, I groaned, “Do I really want to live like this? I used to cultivate and practice Falun Gong. I used to be a person who practices Truth, Compassion and Forbearance!”
I decided that despite the pressure from my parents and my company, I would resume practicing Falun Gong. The next day I looked for the fellow practitioners I once knew. I finally found one that had never stopped practicing, and I was able to read Master's teachings again.
I want to thank Master for Your care and compassionate salvation all these years so that I can firmly cultivate in Dafa. I've written out my cultivation experience below and hope that it can provide some insight for young practitioners to prevent them from taking detours in their future cultivation.
Wisdom Opened through Studying Dafa
I began practicing Falun Gong in 1996 when I was 13. One night when I went to my grandfather's house he was practicing the exercises. I didn't know what he was doing and followed his gestures. I felt very good afterwards and my grandfather told me, “This is Falun Gong.” The name seemed familiar, but I couldn't remember ever hearing it. My grandfather said, “I saw people practicing at the plaza today, so I learned a bit of it. Let's go there tomorrow and do the exercises with them.”
This is how I was introduced to Falun Gong and later realized I was predestined to practice.
Unfortunately my parents were very strict with my school studies and didn't allow me to practice Falun Gong. Every time I decided, “I'm ready to risk everything” and went to the practice site for morning exercises I was worried that they would scold me. When I attended the group Fa-study at night, I would also be “ready to risk everything.” I thought, “Even if I only learned a bit of the Fa today, it's worth it. As for how I'll face the scolding when I return, I won't think about it now!”
Because I was afraid of being scolded, I felt uneasy each time I went out. However when I practiced or studied the Fa, I felt very calm and peaceful and felt that my xinxing was elevating. This compassionate energy can melt away negative things. Unexpectedly, my parents would not say anything when I returned home.
The first challenge I encountered after I began practicing was to straighten out the relationship between time to study the Fa and my school studies. I thought, what's the reason for attending school? It's to acquire knowledge and life's principles. Now, Master has provided these principles and I must study them well. However, I must be attentive in school as this is the responsibility of a student and it's also what a practitioner should do because we are good people wherever we are.
In the beginning I faced many difficulties, such as having to wake up very early to practice the exercises and then I also had to do my schoolwork at night. I finished my homework very late and was already very sleepy. But which is more important?Doing schoolwork or studying the Fa?
Thus, every night, I left home half an hour early to study the Fa first before doing my homework. No matter how late I stayed up to finish my homework, I studied one lecture of Zhuan Falun. No matter how tired I was in the morning, I forced myself to wake up.
It was very difficult in the beginning. When I really didn't want to get up in the morning, I'd tell myself, “Ignore the sleepiness and just get up!” As soon as my feet hit the ground, I felt refreshed and the sleepiness disappeared!
After finishing my homework, I would think, “I'm so tired. I should quickly go to sleep.” Whenever this happened I would remind myself, “What I really want to study is the Fa and I have not done so. If I go to sleep, I'll be wasting my day. Studying the Fa is the main topic of the day.” When I picked up the book, I felt instantly awake and I would see Master smiling at me. From then on, no matter how late it was or how sleepy I was after finishing my homework, I would instantly become awake when I picked up the Fa and started studying.
As I kept practicing the exercises, my brain became more and more clear and I could memorize things very quickly. Once, my language teacher gave us some time to memorize two ancient articles in class. Others were struggling to memorize while I looked at it calmly and attentively twice. Then I started to do my math homework. I thought I'd finish my homework in school and study the Fa that night.
My language teacher was not pleased when she saw that I was doing math homework and made me stand up. She said, “I told you to memorize the articles. Have you done so?” I said that I had already memorized them. The teacher didn't believe me and made me recite a bit of it. I started to recite the first paragraph and when I was finishing it, she said that wasn't the paragraph that she wanted.
So, I recited the second paragraph and when I almost finish reciting, the teacher again purposely said that it wasn't the paragraph. Thus, I recite the third paragraph. When the teacher saw that I had memorized the beginning of the piece she thought that I might not be able to remember the last paragraph, so she said, “Recite the last paragraph.”
I was able to also recite the last paragraph and the entire class applauded and cheered for me. The teacher said, “You are good. You have my permission to do your math homework.”
I was able to easily comprehend what my teachers were teaching and I could finish my homework very quickly. This allowed me more time to study the Fa. They complemented each other – with more time to study the Fa, my wisdom opened up and I could easily grasp what my teachers were teaching. I understood many things as soon as I looked at them.
The schoolwork became very heavy when it was almost time for high school examinations, but studying became more and more easy for me. At the same time, some supernormal abilities that helped my studies appeared and I was able to finish my homework faster and had time to study the Fa.
One day, my father came home and excitedly said, “I heard a few teachers commenting that you are the cleverest in your grade. The other children have to study hard while it's so easy for you. You are really gifted!”
Actually, there was another young practitioner in my class and was also quite gifted. He used to be a troublemaker who never studied. After he began practicing Falun Gong, he listened attentively in class. The teacher praised him as the student whose results improved the quickest and had the greatest change. The whole class applauded him.
Stepping Away from Dafa
In 1999, I was in high school and couldn't go to the Fa study site as often. At home, my parents didn't allow me to study the Fa and do the exercises. Gradually, I slacked off more and more. When the persecution, with the overwhelming slandering of Dafa and Master, started, I didn't know what was happening and I didn't know what to do. I even thought that Master had acknowledged this as a test for people and practitioners. At that time, my thinking was totally in line with the old forces and many of my understandings had deviated from the Fa.
Slowly, my thoughts changed and I was no longer following the Fa principles, but I didn't realize this. I only felt that when I studied the Fa, I no longer had the feeling of rapid progress that I previously had. My parents destroyed my grandfather's Dafa books and because he was threatened by them, he didn't dare to talk to me about cultivation things anymore. Later, when I went to college, I couldn't contact my grandfather and no longer read any of Master's recent writings. I was totally sealed off by the old forces and without my realizing it, I slowly degenerated.
I only knew that inside, I felt pain and deep regret. So, I started playing computer games to numb myself. Later, it got out of hand and sometimes I would sit up and play games all night.
In 2004, a practitioner distributed a truth-clarification DVD on the Tiananmen self-immolation hoax to our college's dormitories. I was shocked after watching it – it turns out that the self-immolation was a hoax! I had a sleepless night. What have I been doing all these years! I was terribly upset! Later, when I fell in my dreams I saw that I had previously signed an agreement with some divine beings that I must detach from Dafa for ten years. It seems that my knowing side had been suppressed because after waking up, I slowly and completely forgot all this.
After graduating, I was busy at work and was forced by my supervisor to start drinking. One midnight I woke up drunk and deep inside, I groaned, “Do I really want to live like this? I used to cultivate and practice Falun Gong. I used to be a person that practices Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. If my life is not filled with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I'd rather die!”
The next day, I went to find the fellow practitioners I knew. I finally found one who had always remained steadfast. Once again, I could read Master's teachings and began practicing again.
Breaking through the Old Forces' Interference
Cultivation is serious. When I began practicing again, my parents quickly realized that I was reading Dafa books. Ever since I was a small child, they always strictly controlled me and didn't allow me to practice. Now, Dafa is being persecuted and they are even more fearful. This was especially so for my mother. The mental stress on her was very great and she forced me to agree not to practice. I agreed casually, as my intention was to later convince her that I was doing the right thing.
Later, I told fellow practitioners what happened and some practitioners thought that since I had just resumed cultivating, saying this to placate her should be all right. As a result, after a few days I was persecuted. The police broke into my home using the excuse that there were Dafa books in my computer to arrest me.
Many human thoughts started to surface. “I'm not married, how can I find a wife in the future?” “I can't keep my civil service job and my parents won't understand me...” But at last moment, I had this thought, “I can finally cultivate. There must be practitioners in the prison. I can study the Fa and cultivate with them.”
When I thought of cultivating, my belt suddenly snapped and broke. I was startled but suddenly understood that this is enlightening me. I would certainly go out safely.
It turned out that the police had actually planned for a long time to arrest me. When I was imprisoned at the detention center, I saw that the situation was very grim. My parents were afraid that the mental stress would cause me to collapse so they entrusted someone to comfort me. I told them that I would be all right and would definitely get out.
There was a prisoner in the detention center who asked a strange question (a riddle) to make things difficult for others. Many people tried to solve it for two days but to no avail. One person said to let me, a Falun Gong practitioner, try it. In my heart, I asked Master for help, to help strengthen me and let me validate the magnificence of Dafa to them.
After I looked at the question, the answer appeared in my brain. When I said the answer out loud, all of them were stunned and chanted, “Powerful! Powerful!” That prisoner also said, “Amazing! I admire you!”
One young man said loudly, “I must practice Falun Gong after I'm released.” An elderly man who went to appeal and was arrested shook my arms and shouted, “I believe you. I want to quit the CCP. How do I quit?”
Because I had just resumed cultivating, I didn't quite understand what the three withdrawals were. Thus, I only told him that he must remember in his heart that he is no longer a CCP member.
The story of my ability to solve the riddle soon spread to the other prisoners and most of them changed their views on Falun Gong. During those few days that I was in the detention center, it seemed as though I was sitting in a protective circle with a layer covering and protecting me. My brain was also blank and I didn't have any negative thoughts.
A few days later, the situation changed rapidly as the conviction materials reported back to the city was suppressed by someone and were not approved. At first, there was no way of rescuing me but later it turned out that the leaders of my company, the people in the police department and disciplinary inspection department came to talk to me and talked to the head of the police station, asking for my release. The head of the police station who framed me could not withstand the pressure but was unwilling to release me. Thus, he sent me to a brainwashing center.
When I was sent to the brainwashing center, I became inexplicably lethargic. Those people were very frightened, as my relatives and leaders from the company often came to ask for me to be released and that I be allowed to return to work. Later, a leader from the city came and told the people at the brainwashing center, “You have to explain the situation clearly. If you can explain the crimes clearly, deal with him. If you can't, don't keep dragging this out.” Thus, I went home the next day.
However, I was tricked into signing something by a CCP agent who stayed with me at the brainwashing center. He lied to me that a signature will do and no writing is required. As a result, I fell into the trap and cooperated with the evil. I also unwittingly gave the old forces an excuse to continue persecuting me.
The pressure in the other dimension did not abate when I returned home. My grandfather's mental stress was very great because I had been illegally arrested. Originally, he was very healthy but suddenly serious illness karma began manifesting. A few days after I came back, he passed away.
When my grandfather passed away, my mother told me quietly, “When others passed away, they were shackled and pulled away by the messengers from hell. Why did many celestial beings come to welcome your grandfather when he passed away? Practicing Falun Gong is different!”
I was left alone to face more pressure. My relatives didn't understand and thought that I was looking for trouble. The leaders in my company also thought that I was giving them trouble by continuing to practice Falun Gong.
I didn't know how to break through this repressive environment, so in desperation I kept studying the Fa. Gradually, I understood that this is not personal cultivation, and I remembered some Fa principles of Fa-rectification cultivation.
At this time, the dark minions of the old forces reached into my company and began interfering. The company called my parents, and threatened and coerced my father to write a “guarantee not to cultivate” on my behalf.
My mother was so angry at the leaders who were threatening me that she had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital. When the ambulance came, all the people in the company knew what happened. I asked Master not to let my mother die so that people would not misunderstand Dafa. Master enlightened me that as long as I walked righteously, no one would dare to cause trouble and my mother would be alright.
When I took the guarantee letter and ripped it up, I suddenly relaxed. All the dimensional fields became clear in an instant. I knew that the arrangement made by the old forces had been eradicated.
When I returned home, my mother was already waiting for me and surprised me by telling me that when she was lying in the ambulance, she suddenly felt awake and she never felt so energetic before. She got out and walked home. She felt fine and very comfortable. She said, “This is amazing!”
My father was still worried that my work leaders would make things difficult for me. I told him that good and evil were at war and I used this opportunity to clarify some truths about Dafa to him. He said very excitedly, “You are very remarkable son. Your Master is very remarkable. So many things happened these last few days, yet you're still able to pass through such a big catastrophe safely. Your Master is protecting you.”
I didn't know if I had gone overboard by tearing up the guarantee paper. So that night I found a colleague and asked him what he thought. He gave me a thumbs up and said, “Remarkable. We know what's happening.” Later, nothing happened. Instead, good things came.
Focus on Saving Sentient Beings
The interference will lessen when the path taken is right and one has sufficient righteous thoughts. My Fa study environment has become good and I have a lot more energy when I do the three things.
One day, I went to the entrance of a village to put up posters. Suddenly, I felt scared and send forth righteous thoughts immediately to eliminate it. I realized that no matter what evil factors are present, I must eliminate them because I came here to save people. In an instant, the field became clear.
When I was about to leave after putting up the posters, a passerby walked past and he looked back at what I had just pasted up. He read loudly, “Falun Dafa is good.” He shouted behind me, “Wait! Do you have DVDs?” It just so happened that I had a Shen Yun DVD and gave it to him. He was very happy.
I frequently put Shen Yun DVDs in my car and drive to different places. I would stop the car when I see people along the streets and introduce the show to them and give them the DVDs. Sometimes, I hand out more than 200 DVDs in one trip.
Once, when I gave a person the Shen Yun DVD, he said, “Falun Gong, right? I don't want it.” The person next to him had seen last year's Shen Yun DVD and asked if he could have it. I described the wonderful contents of the DVD. The person who initially refused it listened curiously and he obviously wanted it but was embarrassed to ask. So, I also gave one to him. I said, “Look, I dare to distribute these DVDs, and you don't dare to watch it?” He laughed as he took the DVD from me.
I went to a city and as soon as I mentioned that I was giving away Shen Yun DVDs, one man shouted loudly, “This year's Shen Yun DVDs!” At once, a lot of people surrounded me. I handed out all the DVDs in a few minutes and they said they wished that Shen Yun would come to China soon.
One time when I was meditating, I saw all the details of something that happened when I was young:
Around 1992 I had the same dream every night. I dreamt that I fell from a very high place and couldn't see the end. I just kept falling and falling. Terrified, I woke up. I had this dream for quite a few days and in my dreams, I kept falling and never reached the ground.
The last time I had the dream I finally fell to the ground, and I awakened in a fright. When I nudged my father he said, “Did you have a bad dream of falling down again?” I asked him, “Who is Li Hongzhi, Dad? This time, when I fell to the ground, I saw an old man with a white beard. He told me that I must find someone named 'Li Hongzhi'.”
Now I understood that the dream was telling me that the cosmos I was from was already in a dangerous situation. If left unchecked, it would be destroyed. The old man told me that only by daring to risk everything and go down to the human world to find Master, will I have hope. However, I may also be destroyed in the human world.
At that time, I thought that as long as I went down, this cosmos will have a glimmer of hope! Thus, I shut my eyes and jumped down. The old man followed me to make sure I looked for Master. He told me that I must find Him.
In this lifetime I have connected with this opportunity of ages. I'm really fortunate. When I asked my father again about that time when I woke up from the bad dream and asked him where do I find Master, he said that he had long forgotten about this.
Everyone came here for the Fa but how many people are lost in the human world or have been deceived by the evil party and forgot the long-cherished wish for coming here. Dafa disciples must do the three things well because those are the vows that we made to Master before coming here, and it is also the wish of the sentient beings' world.
(10th China Experience Sharing Fahui on Minghui.org)