Sickness Karma Helped Me Advance from Personal to Fa Rectification Cultivation

(Minghui.org)

Greetings, Master! Greetings to you, dear fellow practitioners!

Lately I've heard about more and more Dafa practitioners of the Fa Rectification period suffering from sickness karma, sometimes even about very acute cases, which prevents them from functioning.

I chose to address this problem, because in the past two years I, too, went through severe tribulations that manifested as sickness karma. I went through countless tests, and one understanding after another made me realize that I must believe in Master boundlessly, go through life and death tests without any fear, deny all the arrangements of the old forces and vicious elements, cooperate with the one body, take in the fact that this is no longer personal cultivation, do the three things well, and continuously raise my xinxing.

I started cultivating nine years ago with a beginner's enthusiasm. In spite of the difficulties and tests from the old forces, I persevered and was excited to get Master's hints and overcome challenges. It was enough for me to say with a pure heart, "Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good," and everything was changed. Difficulties diminished, sicknesses symptoms passed, and my understandings deepened.

Master said,

"There is a transition at the lowest level of cultivation practice, and this is to purify your body completely. All of the bad things on your mind, the karmic field surrounding your body, and the elements that make your body unhealthy will be cleaned out." (Zhuan Falun)

Looking back on my cultivation, everything seems to have been easier at the beginning. But as I kept raising my level and improving my xinxing, the tribulations grew as well. At a certain point I started repaying karma – no loss, no gain.

In "Sickness Karma” Master said,

"For us cultivators, other than the karma Master has eliminated, we still have to pay a portion ourselves. You will thus feel physically uncomfortable, as if you were suffering from sickness."

“...allowing you to overcome it and pay for your karma through suffering." (Essentials for Further Advancement)

Paying Back via Sickness Karma

Before I started cultivating I had three episodes of overactive thyroid. Each time, I was treated with medications for about two years to reduce the activity of the gland. During the last episode the doctor, told me that next time I would have to undergo radioactive isotope treatment to suppress the thyroid gland.

Two years ago I felt the familiar symptoms again. All the systems in my body were working at an increased pace: my heart, blood pressure, pulse. After every meal I went to the toilet, my hands were shaking, I could not walk fast, not to speak of going up the stairs. There was more… My first thought was that I was sick again and that it would probably take two years until I could recover.

In Zhuan Falun Lecture Six Master said,

"Should you believe that you are ill, this may really cause you to become ill."

“As a practitioner, if you always think that it is an illness, you are actually asking for it. If you ask for an illness, it will come inside your body.” (Zhuan Falun)

My family pressed me to go for a check-up and started trying to persuade me and pressuring me on a daily basis, which made my thoughts unstable. I sent more righteous thoughts and studied the Fa more, but somewhere inside my mind there was still the word "sickness" was hiding out. It was very difficult for me to think clearly during such great suffering. I began to waver.

Master said,

“When you can’t understand these from the standpoint of the Fa, then this process in which your body gets cleansed is drawn out, and it doesn’t go away for a long time, lingering on for several months. Then your thoughts get even less steady, and the ordeal seems greater as more time goes by, and it’s even harder to pass. You think, 'Why has it lasted such a long time, and still can’t be passed?' The thoughts begin to waver: 'Is this cultivation way not effective? Is Teacher not taking care of me? What’s going on?' It has already affected your health. On this issue you haven’t viewed yourself as a cultivator.” ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference in Australia")

I finally gave in to pressure, justifying it to myself with all kinds of reasons. That is, that I live in an ordinary family and in society, and that, at least on the surface, I have to behave according to accepted standards to not damage Dafa's reputation. I went to have the check-up and the results were very bad: overactive thyroid, high blood pressure, quick pulse. It was expected that I'd take the doctor's suggestions: radioactive treatment and medication.

I kept on practicing as usual and declined completely all intrusive medical means, but I agreed to an alternative treatment that at the time didn't seem to me like medical treatment.

Our family doctor then notified my husband that I would die if I didn't avail myself of conventional medical treatment.

This was a turning point that made me understand several things. First of all, I was upset with the doctor for breaking patient confidentiality, and I announced that it was my body and that no one had the right to tell me how to treat it. During all this time I had been studying the Fa, looking for answers, looking inward, and searching for hints from Master. I realized that the alternative treatment was the same as conventional treatment, and that I had agreed to it only because I still believed that I was ill. I realized that this was a test of faith that turned into persecution, and that only if I could believe in Master wholeheartedly and be prepared to give up life and death, could I move on. I announced to my family that, from that day on, no one would interfere with my life and if the time had come for me to die, so be it.

Afraid of Exposing My Situation to Other Practitioners

Eventually I realized I should start sharing my situation with a few practitioners. Each of them gave me advice from his or her own understandings, such as, "Look inward, raise your xinxing, it is best that you do this or that." I could see that Master was giving me a lot of hints, yet I had to deal first with not being able to really share my situation with others.

I have always been introverted and could never share my tribulations with other people, but there came a moment when it was clear that I could not hide them any longer, and would have to confront my deepest fears of being exposed in my weakness and share with others to thus move on and elevate.

Some of the symptoms were obvious, like the shaking of my hands when I held the book or sent forth righteous thoughts, or did the second exercise. I realized I had to share my situation, otherwise I wouldn't be calm when doing these things during the large group study.

At that point a few practitioners from my local group and from the projects I participated in were already in the picture. There were also some less obvious symptoms like accelerated heartbeat, which suffocated me, and difficulty in climbing stairs in my own home and walking. I needed to sleep more and to rest more than usual. My moods were unstable and I was easily angered.

In Zhuan Falun, Lecture Two, Master said,

"Cultivation practice is the only way to find yourself comfortably free of illness and to accomplish the goal of being truly free!"

And in Lecture Three, "Energy Field” Master said:

“A human body should not become ill, and being ill is an abnormal state." (Zhuan Falun)

At that stage my thinking started to become more stable, and understandings kept coming. I no longer treated it like an illness but, rather, as a test to see how determined I was and to what extent I believed in Master, and if I was willing to let go of life and death in order to persevere in Dafa.

I then concentrated all of my thinking on Master's Fa:

“Some people who used to have illness did recover as soon as they started cultivating Dafa, and they really were cured. But, in order to remove your attachments and test whether or not you have what it takes, the old forces cause you to have pain wherever the focal point of your former illness was, or have a relapse, with the symptoms even being the same, all to see whether you believe in Dafa. How are you to handle it when that happens? Human or divine—the difference lies in one thought. If what arises is a righteous thought, and you take the position that all of this is false, that it’s the old forces meddling, and you remind yourself of how long you’ve cultivated Dafa for and that no such thing is possible, if that thought truly comes from within, instantly the problem will vanish.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference”)

I realized that, as long as I was thinking like an ordinary person that this was an illness, and as long as I treated the symptoms as those of an illness that should be treated for two years before going away, indeed it happened that my suffering took exactly two years before going away.

From time to time I needed to remind myself that, if it was really an illness, why were there whole days without any symptoms and other days with symptoms so clear and obvious? It depended on my one thought. Whenever my pulse accelerated and I felt weak, I focused on the thought that nothing could stir my heart or interfere with the mission I was doing. Within a few seconds, all of the symptoms would disappear.

Environment of the Body of Practitioners

Only after I overcame this illness karma did I fully understand that it was not a personal matter. It involved the one-body of practitioners. The minute I deviated from the standard of a Dafa disciple, I was damaging the situation of the whole body. Furthermore, I failed to fully use the powerful tool of the environment of fellow practitioners. I did not share my suffering with other practitioners in a timely manner and on a larger scale, so it took longer for it to be eliminated.

In “Fa Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Fa Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference” one of the practitioners asked Master,

"Question: A practitioner in our region has had symptoms of a serious illness. Some practitioners have suggested that we send righteous thoughts toward him as a group, while others raised the point that Master has never asked us to do such a thing. Would it be harmful to Dafa?"

Master replied,

"Teacher: You'd be helping each other, and that's not damaging Dafa. If you have everyone reading the book to him, or reading the Fa to him, sending righteous thoughts toward him, and surrounding him as a group, then these things will be effective..." ("Fa Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Fa Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")

Today I am more open to admitting my terrible suffering and sharing it with the whole body of practitioners, knowing that we are all one body, that each of us is a particle in it and has an influence on it, and that we should function in harmony and cooperation within the one body.

After I overcame that tribulation, I still had some leftover symptoms. I occasionally had pain in my foot to the point that I could not step on it, and I had a rash and minor symptoms of ailments that I had in the past. This time I didn't treat them as ailments, but looked inward to see what other loopholes I had, so as to sever them and proceed along my path of cultivation. I treated tribulations as deviations from the standard and as things that should be rectified.

I tried to be honest with myself, for I had known for some time about my attachment to comfort – but what have I done about it? When I noticed my fear of being exposed as "not cultivating well," I did internalize it, but I did not let go of it all. I also knew another thing about myself, that I did not do well the third of the three things that Master asks of practitioners. This was my biggest loophole.

The tribulation helped me understand that I have to clarify the truth in person.

In the past I thought that doing translations for the media was also a way of truth clarification. Other practitioners also helped justify this understanding. I sat in my ivory tower and translated ceaselessly. Yet I was not content. When I translated a lot of articles about the persecution for our truth clarification website, I felt a little better. But later, when we shared about the issue during group study, I realized I could wait no longer – I had to go outdoors and clarify the truth in person to save sentient beings.

Later, in Master's article “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference,” I read the following,

“…after you did manage to complete your cultivation that cosmos would be no more—you’d be like a commander-in-chief with no army wherever you were."

I have since always imagined myself as a commander-in-chief with no army, standing in an empty universe and hearing Master telling me, "You must go and save people."

Master said in this same article,

“For a Dafa disciple, cultivation is first priority. That’s because if you fail to cultivate well, you will not be able to accomplish what you are to do; and if you fail to cultivate well, your power to save sentient beings will not be that great.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”)

I realized that all that I had been through with my illness karma had been just a minor thing, just a step on the ladder that helped me relinquish my most hidden attachment. Cultivating well is just the basis to enable me to fulfill the real mission I had vowed to carry out – validating Dafa and saving sentient beings.

Master said,

"Dafa disciples have a mission, and that is why you are called 'Dafa disciples.' Your goal is not your personal Consummation. It is to lead a large group of lives to Consummation. So you must go and do that." "Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference (Questions and Answers)")

All the symptoms of illnesses and all the tribulations on my path are nothing but arrangements and tests of the old forces to interfere in my doing what I have come to do here – to save sentient beings.

Nothing can affect a practitioner as long as he or she treats it with the righteous thought that a Dafa practitioner cannot be ill. If a so-called "illness" emerges, it can only be karma being eliminated, helping us to elevate. Or it is attachments that should all be relinquished, or it is that one is too stuck in one's cultivation and does not fulfill the mission of a Dafa disciple of the Fa rectification period.

In “Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference” Master said,

"I have never stopped telling you to sincerely study the Fa and do real cultivation, for once the righteous thoughts are strong, you will truly have the god-like might to split a mountain in half—split it with but one thought. Just see if the old forces dare to meddle then. When your righteous thoughts arise, nothing can block your path."

In the same lecture Master said that our personal cultivation is no longer an issue,

"I’ve said your Consummation is not a question. What is a question is [your fulfilling] the enormous mission of saving sentient beings. It’s only this question, of your managing to fulfill this mission, that counts as critical. Your own completion is not the goal." (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference”)

When I realized it, all the evil interference in my path subsided, for I treated all of the things that were trying to hinder my personal cultivation as interference to my more critical mission, which was saving sentient beings.

Master said in 2007,

"So in Fa-rectification, no matter what kinds of demonic ordeals I encounter or what kinds of blows I am dealt, they cannot alter my will, nor change what I plan to accomplish." ("Fa Teaching at the U.S. Capital")

Even when I was writing this paper I continued to understand and grasp these understandings. I felt as if this was a real leap forward for me, and that the issue of cultivating in the period of Fa rectification was overturned for me and is now being fixed in my main consciousness.

I realized that I have no more time to let these tribulations lag on in my cultivation, because they are no longer important. They only interfere, and I should ignore them in order to fulfill my real mission and establish my mighty virtue. Today I take part more and more in the activities of the one-body and clarify the truth to people. I feel a sublime happiness whenever I am doing it.

Master said,

“Everything is tied to Fa-rectification, everything is tied to the responsibilities of Dafa disciples, and everything is tied to your personal cultivation. All of these are inseparable." (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington D.C International Fa Conference”)

I would like to conclude with Master's inscription for Falun Dafa disciples in Changchun,

“It is not that the path of cultivation is agonizing, It is the karma from lifetime after lifetime obstructing you; Steeling your will, eliminate karma and cultivate xinxing , Obtaining an immortal human body, a Buddha.” ("Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa")

Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners. Please point out anything improper.