After Seven Years, I Finally Woke Up
(Minghui.org) Whenever I saw fellow practitioners last spring, I happily told them, “I’ve woken up and resumed cultivating.” I had stopped cultivating for seven years and slid down into ordinary society. During those years, I did not respond when fellow practitioners urged me to return to Dafa. I would just quickly say a few words whenever I saw them and then leave.
Many practitioners patiently talked to me, trying to wake me up. They also sent forth righteous thoughts to cleanse the evil forces behind me and the layers upon layers of the vicious substances that blocked me from returning to cultivation. I could see the hope, as well as the disappointment, in their eyes when they tried to encourage me to resume practicing.
I obtained the Fa in 1998 and walked through the most difficult part of the persecution; therefore, it was inconceivable to them why I had stopped practicing.
Revered Master, I've come back. Thank you for saving me!
I could come back because Master has never given up on me. Master gave me one hint after another and arranged many practitioners to talk to me. However, I did not enlighten for some reason back then. I'm very sorry, Master!
Practitioners had invited me over several times. The first day after Chinese New Year in 2012, I finally decided to go to a practitioner’s home. Although I listened to her attentively, due to a strong attachment of fear, I did not dare to take Master’s new lectures with me. However, I promised I would think about it.
A few days later, an ordinary person told me about a software that could break through the Chinese regime's Internet blockade. He said one could then read the information online that was not accessible through the normal channels in China. I took the software home, thinking that even this ordinary person was better than me.
With the help of the software, I was able to visit overseas websites and read a lot of things I had been unable to hear about in China. I was also able to get on the Minghui website and read Master’s recent articles.
I spent every spare minute studying the Fa every day and was able to eliminate every single substance that had blocked me. Studying the Fa also helped me to gradually clear up any doubts I had.
I thus woke up from the foggy state that I had been in for seven years. No longer would I let go of Dafa! I quickly finished reading all of Master’s articles, and now I know how to hold on to my xinxing. I've finally returned to Dafa.
Actually, I had seen the software before. The same person had introduced the software to me a few years before. I quickly scanned the website, but due to fear then turned it off. After that, I deleted it from my computer. If I had not used the software to read the Minghui website this time, I probably wouldn't have had any more chances. It's hard to imagine now why I was like that before.
What had caused me to fall so deeply? I've realized that I had many problems. My main problem was that I mistakenly believed that safeguarding the Fa, rejecting the persecution and exposing the persecution of Dafa practitioners was getting involved in politics. That thought caused me to gradually stop studying the Fa, and even when I studied, my mind was not tranquil.
I was unwilling to communicate with fellow practitioners, and even compared Dafa with ordinary human’s knowledge, science and philosophy. I thought that the communist theory had some credibility. What I didn't realize was that because I had grown up in the Communist Party culture, I was being controlled by it.
Soon after, whenever I tried to study the Fa, I experienced many distractions, and the number of doubts grew. I questioned this and that, and whether it was true or not. Finally, I even began to doubt Dafa. In 2005, I stopped studying the Fa completely, and this gave the evil forces the opportunity to completely control me. I believed that the thoughts injected by the vicious forces were actually mine. From then on, I became an ordinary person for seven years.
It's obvious to me now that I had loopholes in my cultivation. I thought that I was diligent back then, but as a matter of fact, I did not study the Fa well and thus failed to understand the Fa from Dafa’s perspective. Therefore, at the critical moment, I was unable to believe in Dafa and Master.
When I had doubts, it was easy for me to deviate because I used everyday people’s thinking to evaluate Dafa. How could human knowledge be used to measure the principles of the universe? I was unable to see how dangerous it could be.
Master told us:
“When a cultivator's mind departs from the Fa, the evil will find its way in.” (“Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.”)
Not only had my thoughts departed from Dafa, but I also used ordinary thinking to measure Dafa. Obviously I was leaving myself wide open to be interfered with. Had I not eliminated the attachments, I wouldn't have been able to break through the tribulations.
I need to forever remember what Master taught:
“No matter how difficult your environment is, no matter how busy you get, you cannot forget to study the Fa. You must study the Fa, because it is the absolute, most fundamental guarantee of your improvement. I can't meet with every student, especially with the current situation in Mainland China. And under these circumstances where our students aren't able to see me, they can't come find Master whenever there's an issue, so they can only take the Fa as the Master. And in order to enable you to do cultivation practice and improve, I've infused this Fa throughout with every element that can enable a person to improve and ascend through cultivation. As long as you study, any problem can be solved. As long as you cultivate and as long as you're able to understand the Fa from the Fa, there's nothing you can't achieve.” (“Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.”)
“So when it comes to those evil beings and their arrangements, as long as your righteous thoughts are strong enough you can reject them, repel them, and make them helpless.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.”)
I must firmly reject the old forces' arrangements and solidly follow Master’s arrangements—study the Fa, constantly search within, let go of all attachments (including the one to life and death), maintain my righteous thoughts and deeds, do the three things well, and assist Master to validate the Fa and save sentient beings!
I have woken up. Based on my experience, I know it's even more important for me to find those fellow practitioners who are still being blocked by the evil forces and bring them back.
I have already talked to some practitioners and told them that they should not leave Dafa. Fortunately, some of them received Master’s new lectures, and some now have the software to help them break through the Internet blockade. They are able to go on the Minghui website to learn about the what's taking place.
However, there are some who are still afraid to take materials from me. Like them, my fear used to be very strong, to the extent that it was stronger than that of non-practitioners. To wake them up, I must treat them as ordinary people: I should not tell them anything that is too deep; I must mind my tone of voice and their surroundings. Nonetheless, I must tell them the truth.
I have woken up because I finally understood. I'd like to tell fellow practitioners who have not stepped forward to wake up now! Master is still waiting for you.
Please think about it. Why after more than a dozen years of persecution in China, Dafa has widely spread to over 100 countries and received numerous awards overseas? Thousands of practitioners are safeguarding Dafa, resisting the persecution, clarifying the facts to people, and solidly cultivating in Dafa. How many Dafa disciples have been incarcerated, and how many have been tortured to death for safeguarding Dafa?
Wake up quickly, fellow practitioners, and return to cultivating in Dafa. Make sure you accept the materials that fellow practitioners give you. Only Master’s lectures can help you unlock your doubts and break through all barriers. I have personally experienced it.
Fellow practitioners in China are constantly at risk, but they still bring the materials to you. Why don’t you read them? The fear and thoughts that prohibit you from reading and learning the truth about Dafa are not the real you. They create fear in you because they do not want you to learn the truth. Once you begin to genuinely cultivate in Dafa, they will be destroyed.
Come back, fellow practitioners! Do not allow the evil forces to control you any longer. You have obtained the Buddha Fa, so don't lose it. Don't miss this opportunity that you will not meet again in thousands of years!
My level is limited. Please help point out anything inappropriate.