My Experience of Declaring My Intention to Resume Practicing Falun Dafa
(Minghui.org) To declare one’s intention to resume practicing Falun Dafa is an opportunity Master offers practitioners who have given up practicing under the pressure of the persecution. This is Master’s mercy, as Master tolerates previous mistakes made by sentient beings. Every practitioner who has made a detour on the road of cultivation should treasure this opportunity and declare his or her intention to resume practicing. In this way, they can completely break from the evil and return to the practice of Falun Dafa.
As far as I know, there are still quite a few practitioners who promised to give up practicing Falun Gong in front of the evil and haven't yet declared their intention to resume practicing. I would like to share my experience of declaring my intention to resume practicing and hope that this may help those practitioners who haven't yet returned to cultivation.
I was persecuted in the evil den in 2001. Because I had too many human attachments and only understood Dafa at a superficial level, I violated Dafa's principles while facing the insane persecution. Worse still, I completely lost my belief in deities due to the education of atheism from the evil CCP. I ended up not getting out of the evil den for eight years. By then, I was so immersed in the human world that I did not have any thoughts about Dafa cultivation. Actually, during that time, a fellow practitioner came to see me and I also received truth-clarification materials, but I rejected them. I was struggling to find what I was living for and felt very depressed.
One time, I went on a tour to Xi’an organized by my department. We went to many attractions, including the Big Wild Goose Pagoda, Huaqing Hot Springs, the ancient city wall, Bell Tower, and Drum Tower. It brought out many memories in me. Every brick and tile of this old city felt so familiar to me that I felt that somehow I had lived there before. Master's words about Xi’an and the Tang dynasty appeared in my brain. It seemed that I had just come from that historic period and I recalled that period of time. After I came back from Xi’an, I became very interested in traditional Chinese culture and read a lot of books about it. To my surprise, I found that almost all of the traditional Chinese culture had some point of reference from Dafa, which really puzzled me at that time.
One day in October 2010, I stepped onto my balcony and inadvertently saw a blooming white Udumbara flower on a golden fruit. What an amazing flower blooms once every 3,000 years! [Note: According to Buddhist scriptures, the Udumbara flower blossoms once every 3,000 years, signaling the arrival of the Holy King Who Turns the Wheel.] I was deeply shocked and could not believe my eyes. The first thought that I had was: “Master, you did not abandon me and you guided me away from the wrong path by the holy flower of the Buddhist community.” At that moment, I burst into tears, and it seemed that everything about Dafa cultivation resurfaced from my memory. I was bathed in Buddha’s infinite grace and experienced utmost happiness.
I found my old MP3 player, which contained all of Master's lectures that I had downloaded in 2004. Although back in 2004 I had not yet completely believed in Dafa, I still felt that I was somehow connected with Dafa, so I downloaded Master's lectures, saved them and kept them in a secure place at my home. Every time I moved, I carefully protected them like protecting the seed of life. I believe that it was this thought of treating Dafa well that gave me the opportunity to finally come back and once again be taken care of by Master.
Later, I finished reading all of Master's lectures, often reading well into the night. Especially with regard to Zhuan Falun, I read every word with my heart. After reading Master's lectures, I suddenly came to an understanding. Master's Fa promptly corrected and changed me. I understood that the reason I had left Dafa was because I had considered Dafa and cultivation with ordinary people's thoughts. I always wanted to gain from Dafa, but I did not want to get rid of my attachments. This was the obstacle that prevented me from obtaining the Fa when I had read the Fa in the past. Finally, due to my attachments, I went to the opposite side and even complained about Dafa. What a lesson I had! I had not learned how to look inward and get rid of attachments until now. I had not learned how to cultivate until now. I had really fallen down heavily, and it really took a long time for me to stand up again. Upon gaining this understanding, I realized how serious cultivation is. I became determined to follow Master and to cultivate again. I remembered that day; it was close to the time of the Qingming Festival and there was a heavy snowfall. Looking at the snowflakes flying in the air, my tears ran down my cheeks. I knew that Master was encouraging me.
Two years after resuming Fa study and sending forth righteous thoughts, I gradually established a materials production site at home [to make informational materials about Falun Dafa]. I gradually went out to clarify the facts about Falun Dafa and save sentient beings.
But there was still an issue: I had never sent a declaration to the Minghui website stating that I was resuming my cultivation in Dafa. At that time, I did not realize the seriousness of this issue. I felt that since I was already studying the Fa and clarifying the facts about Dafa to people, it would be just a formality to write the declaration. Thus, I always put off.
Then, one day when I was reported to the police for clarifying the truth to people, I started to examine myself. I thought, “Dafa is sacred, but you furtively study the Fa without openly acknowledging yourself as a Dafa disciple.” I dug out the root and found that this stemmed from my attachments of fear and seeking comfort. I feared being persecuted again, so I did not want others to know that I had come back to Dafa. I even tried avoiding the evil. I said to myself: “Master has experienced a myriad of suffering to save me, but I do not even dare to openly declare my intention to resume practicing Falun Dafa. How filthy is my heart! Moreover, in cultivation, every Dafa disciple is validating the beauty and purity of Dafa and helping Master rectify the Fa, yet I don't dare to post a declaration of my commitment to resume my practice. Can I be called Master's disciple?”
After studying the Fa again, I realized that once I had spoken or written the promise that I would no longer practice Falun Dafa, I betrayed myself, and would be controlled by the evil and stand on the opposite side of Dafa. Master has given us time and opportunities to come back, but if we do not declare to nullify all of the promises made to the evil, the old forces would take advantage of us. As I understand it, in this case, Master would still protect us, but on many issues Master would be worried and could not do anything. Your saying that you would no longer practice is not something small, as Master really could no longer take care of you. If Master does take care of you, the old forces would be infuriated. How can I make more trouble for Master?
After realizing this issue, I immediately wrote my declaration of resuming to practice Falun Dafa and sent it to the Minghui website. I then felt a huge sense of relief. I felt very large, standing upright between heaven and earth, and all evil became tiny. This implies that evil fears us once we show the courage to declare our return to Dafa. Once we break the shackles of evil, the evil loses the reasons for its existence and will be eliminated.
Before I made my declaration, I had often lacked confidence and blamed myself. I was also interfered with by something that always made me lag behind. After posting my solemn declaration, everything changed. I felt a strong force pushing me, which bestowed me with confidence and power. The feeling that I was inferior completely disappeared. I did everything with completely righteous thoughts. Now, I can openly spread the truth calmly and with determination. I feel like my inner-self is pure and strong like a Vajra.
The night I declared to resume practicing Falun Dafa, I had a clear dream: Master lead me by the hand to go through various levels of the universe.
In this article, I used my own experience to remind those practitioners who gave up their cultivation in the face of the persecution and told the evil that they would not practice Falun Dafa, and who haven't yet declared their intent to resume practicing, to do so immediately. I hope they can diminish their worries and fears, firmly stand on the side of Master and Dafa, and publicly declare their intention to resume practicing Falun Dafa as soon as possible. In this way, they can fundamentally break from the evil old forces and become true Dafa disciples. By doing so, the process of eliminating the evil can be accelerated, which can help Master in Fa-rectification.
If anything above is inappropriate, please point it out. Heshi!