(Minghui.org) I lived with my grandmother when I was very young, and did not move in with my parents until I started attending school. My parents worked all day and often spent their nights playing mahjong. They did not discipline me much, and I only saw them during meal times. I did not know how to communicate with others so I did not get along with my classmates in school. I even left home twice when I was in middle school.
Loneliness was my only friend. I met my future husband after graduating from middle school. A few years later, for many reasons, both of us started to use drugs. We tried to give up the addiction and spent a lot of money, however we always went back to using drugs. We even sold our apartment for drugs. My husband's mother went through a lot of trouble for us, and after being disappointed again and again, she gave up on us. We were deserted by our other family and friends as well.
To support our addiction, we had done many bad deeds—we even trafficked drugs. I was sent to a forced labor camp for two years in 1999. Even then, I still kept thinking about how I would smoke drugs once I got out.
I spent a month at a detention center before I was sent to the labor camp. There was a Falun Gong practitioner at the detention center, and that was when I heard about Falun Gong for the first time. I would never have learnt about cultivation since I lived mostly in a daze every day. I learned she was detained because she would not give up practicing Falun Gong. She had chains on her feet too. I did not understand her—why was practicing so important? Why didn't she just stop practicing? Why speak about the truth, as it is more acceptable to tell lies nowadays. We lie to and cheat each other, that is the norm. Even though I respected her persistence, I still felt she was foolish. At that time, I did not think further about why the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) forces people to lie.
At the forced labor camp, I was sent to monitor and follow Falun Gong practitioners around, and I had to report everything those practitioners did to the prison guards. Most of the practitioners were locked up in small dark single cells. Every practitioner was followed by two prisoners, and most of the prisoners following the practitioners were drug addicts. To “transform” one practitioner would allow the prisoner to receive an “award” such as a shortened term. The prison guards did not care what those drug addicts did to Falun Gong practitioners. Beating and stealing from practitioners happened often, sometimes instructed by the prison guards themselves. The head guard taught us how to beat others without leaving any mark. Prison guards took matters into their own hands if they encountered a persistent Falun Gong practitioner as the guards had to meet the “transformation” ratio set by upper government agencies.
In the first few months, I was with Falun Gong practitioners 24 hours a day. I was very confused as I did not know the truth about Falun Gong. Everything I knew about Falun Gong came from the regime's news and the prison guards. However, what I saw, heard and felt about Falun Gong was opposite from what they told me.
At the beginning, I was not kind to Falun Gong practitioners either. I helped prison guards to verbally abuse them. I could not bring myself to hit them though, since many of them were older than my own parents. I planned to abuse them psychologically, and try to “transform” them that way. However, it did not matter how I treated them, they remained kind to me, they even unconditionally helped me when I was in need.
Under any circumstance and under whatever pressure, I only saw Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in Falun Gong practitioners. In contrast, I only saw deceit, evil and cruelty in prison guards—they would do anything for their own personal gain.
I started to treat every Falun Gong practitioner I met kindly. I hoped one day I could have high virtues like them. I spent a period of time with a 60-year-old engineer from the Seismological Bureau. She told me many principles of how we should conduct ourselves. She told me that one must have morals and intuitive knowledge. Without such self-restraint, one would dare to do any kind of bad deed, and according to Buddhist principles of karmic retribution, this person would face horrible consequences.
This elderly lady also helped me to memorize Lunyu from Zhuan Falun. I benefited a lot from her in a short time. Slowly, I stopped using vulgar language, I acted in a dignified manner and I learned to see whatever situation with a compassionate mind. Once my heart was filled with kindness every day, I realized how happy and relaxed I was when I did not have any bad or selfish thoughts.
Many people witnessed my experience of quitting drugs and considered it unbelievable. “Really? In but a moment?” Let me tell you, it was really but a moment.
I did not know at the beginning that Master started to watch over me once I started to have compassion in my mind and had the thought of cultivation. Master cleansed my body. I used to imagine how I would look for drugs once I got out of the labor camp. One day, all of a sudden, I did not want to use drugs anymore, I did not even have the thought. I was like a healthy normal person who had never used drugs before. All of my physical illnesses such as stomach discomfort from drug use were gone after some time. Without spending one cent nor going through any suffering, I quit just like that. Even I think it was a miracle.
After I was released, I came across many of my old “drug buddies”, and some of them asked me to do drugs with them. I never went, nor did I need to use any restraint. I simply did not want to go. I tried to persuade them to quit drugs instead. I know it is very hard to quit. At the beginning, my family could not believe I quit using drugs, so as time passed, the fact that I quit drugs had the effect of validating the miraculousness of Falun Dafa.
My friends and family say that I am like a new person. I do not have any bad habits anymore, and I am polite, very understanding and trustworthy. My colleagues also commented that they have never seen such a good person as me. The truth is that I cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and Master taught us to require of ourselves that we live up to the standards of a cultivator. I need to think of others and be selfless.
Falun Dafa has spread to over one hundred countries, and it is legal to practice in Hong Kong and Macao. Dafa has positively affected societies worldwide and is appraised with many awards and letters of support from government officials. I think if mainland China allowed freedom of belief and there were no fear of being persecuted, there would be so many addicts and other people in China trying to cultivate Dafa. Many of them would have been like me, quitting drugs without spending a cent. Their families would be happy for them too. How wonderful would that be!
On this grand celebration of World Falun Dafa Day, May 13th, I thank Master for saving me.
From the Call for Submissions to Commemorate the Twentieth Anniversary of Falun Dafa’s Introduction
