[Selected Submission] A Ruined Family Sees the Light Again
(Minghui.org) On the 20th anniversary of Falun Dafa's introduction to the public, I'd like to share my experience with the practice and let people know that Falun Dafa is a high-level cultivation system that teaches people to be good according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Dafa has dissolved the hatred in my family and changed me fundamentally from a person once nicknamed “Queen of Violence” to a person with a kind and forgiving heart. Ever since I started practicing Falun Dafa, my family has been bathed in Buddha’s light.
The 'Queen of Violence'
At the age of 27, I married a man whom I didn't like. I regretted so much that I had married the “wrong person.” My husband often went out, got drunk and didn't come home until midnight. Because I was afraid that he was having extramarital affairs, I tightly controlled his earnings. When he was drunk, he became violent at home. He swore at me, beat me and sometimes threatened me with a kitchen knife. Then I madly cursed him and threw whatever I could grab at him. One day, as he walked along a stairway, I kicked him hard from behind, making him fall to the lower level. We often fought with each other. I pulled his hair, bruised his arms and scratched and damaged his hands, while he pinched and bruised my neck, hurt my legs and smashed glass. When violence didn't work, I restricted him with three rules: First, he had to come home before 8:30 p.m.; second, he had to let me know where he was having dinner; and third, he could not get drunk to the point of becoming violent. I threatened that we would get a divorce if he did not comply. He said that he would never divorce me, so this method worked for a while. However, then I began losing my composure again. If he didn't come home by 8:30 p.m., I would go to the restaurant to publicly insult him and even kicked and beat him.
I felt exhausted. I suffered from severe inflammation in my spine and was hunched over all day long in pain. I had diarrhea all the time. A colonoscopy revealed that about one inch of my bowel had deteriorated and become discolored. My legs were so swollen that I was not able to put my shoes on. My face looked dark, like grilled chicken. I often had bad dreams in which I was burned, knives pierced through my chest or my stomach was cut. I would wake up soaked with sweat. However, my husband was oblivious to all of this.
My sister-in-law said to me: “Other people say that you are the 'Queen of Violence' who controls her husband. You are infamous for being controlling. Do not control him anymore.” After listening to her words, I was determined to not control my husband anymore. I decided that I would wait until my child became an adult and then divorce him. However, confronted with my husband's behavior, I was not able to suppress my anger and continued to fight with him. I was totally absorbed by intense emotion and could not free myself from it. I was at a dead end and engulfed by the pursuit of fame, benefit and sentiment.
My bitter heart became calm
After reading the book Zhuan Falun, I understood that everything in this human world has a causal relationship. All pain and suffering are karmic results of our own deeds. The hatred in my heart gradually dissolved through understanding this principle.
Master said in “Teaching the Fa at a New York Meeting” (Lectures in the United States):
“In today’s society many people evaluate a problem from within the specific problem and try to resolve a crisis with a combative approach, which can never resolve it.”
“According to the theory of yin and yang, females should be gentle and not strong.”
Master also said in Zhuan Falun:
“We say that when you take a step back in a conflict, you will find the seas and the skies boundless...”
Whenever my husband came home at midnight and became violent, Master's words came to my mind. I might have been tempted to shout, but I would close my mouth. I might have been close to fighting with an object in my hand, but I would drop it instead. My bitter heart became calm.
I came to understand from Dafa that the predestined relationship between me and my husband had led to our marriage in this lifetime. I regretted that I hadn't treasured this relationship. I hadn't paid back the old debt, but instead acquired new karma. I realized that I should cherish the time remaining. Regardless how my husband treated me, I decided that I would treat him with kindness, calmness and a peaceful heart. I would treat him well and try to be gentle with him. When he became violent, I comforted him and cheered him up. When he vomited, I cleaned it up and gave him hot water. When he went to bed, I put a blanket over him. I didn't even think of cursing him or fighting with him anymore.
When he came home drunk one night, he smashed and broke our big TV, for which we had spent 5,800 yuan. He also smashed the trash bin with the rice cooker. I didn't complain and harbored no hatred. Instead, I faced it peacefully, with one smile dissolving all hatred.
Master said in the “Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asian-Pacific Students:”
“As a cultivator, you have to be a good person wherever you are, and you have to be considerate of others--so in the home why can't you be considerate and understanding of your own husband?”
I did everything according to Master's requirements. I considered my husband first and took good care of him. I cooked good dishes for him, washed his clothes and even returned his salary card and the family savings to him and let him keep them. I changed from a discontented, selfish, bullying and peremptory person to a person who was peaceful, unselfish, understanding and tolerant. As a result, my husband stopped getting violent. We began to talk, laugh and respect each other. My neighbors asked me: “Before you fought and made such big noises; it seemed that the two of you could no longer live together. How come there isn't any noise now?” I told them that I had learned Falun Dafa and explained the wonderfulness of the practice.
Bathed in Master's saving grace, I got rid of all my diseases. Master cleansed my body. My skin first became so dry and cracked that it felt like it was covered with a layer of hard glue, but then the black substance under my skin came off and I recovered. My skin became tender and fair, with rosiness in my cheeks. My bent back became straight, and my whole body felt very light. I also no longer had nightmares.
Later, when I was in an accident, in which a car hit me and smashed my bicycle, I was not injured. With Dafa, I was reborn.
People shouted “Falun Dafa is good!”
My husband read Zhuan Falun once, and his previously achy legs no longer hurt. He turned away the policemen who monitored me at the ground level of our building. He and his subordinates also put up 700 truth-clarifying stickers on power poles in the city area. He often told the director of the police department, the director of the 610 Office and the director of the Domestic Security Division that they should discern good from bad and behave, that history will tell who is right and who is wrong, and that those who persecute Dafa practitioners will be judged as criminals.
One day in a restaurant, my husband led people at his table to shout loudly, “Falun Dafa is good!” Hearing this, the restaurant owner came over with a big fruit dish and gave it to them for free. He told my husband with tears in his eyes that he had been tortured in prison for being a Dafa practitioner and that his hair had turned white from the torture.
My husband also led people at his table to shout, “Falun Dafa is good!” on another occasion. One person didn't shout. My husband asked him: “Why didn't you shout? Quick, stand up and shout.” The eight of them then raised their arms and shouted loudly, “Falun Dafa is good!” A policeman stormed in and asked,“Who shouted?” My husband stepped forward and said: “I shouted. I am practicing Falun Dafa. What are you going to do about it? Do you dare to arrest me?” The policeman smiled and said: “You don't practice Falun Dafa. Falun Dafa practitioners don't drink alcohol.”
Our home is filled with peace and happiness. The whole family is thankful to Dafa, which has brought us happiness and joy. I have been very determined in my cultivation, despite the fact that Falun Dafa is being persecuted and grossly misrepresented by the government. I have been telling people that our Master is innocent and that Dafa practitioners are being treated unjustly. I tell people how I have benefited from cultivation in Dafa and the miracles that Dafa has brought to my family. Thousands of people have listened to me and renounced their affiliation with the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
I really hope that people will not be deceived by the CCP's lies and propaganda, and that they will come to know Dafa and experience the wonderfulness, splendor and beauty of Dafa. On this special occasion of celebration, I'd like to express gratitude to Master on behalf of my whole family and to send greetings to our compassionate Master!
From the Call for Submissions to Commemorate the Twentieth Anniversary of Falun Dafa's Introduction