(Clearwisdom.net) Some of my recent experiences allowed me realize what “searching within” and “cultivation” mean, which enabled me to experience the power of “harmonizing the Fa as one body.”
I used to work outside of my hometown. I thus had very little contact with fellow practitioners from home, nor did I have much contact with the practitioners there. I cultivated alone, rarely had any conflicts, and I felt my cultivation state was pretty good. One time, I suddenly had the thought of wanting to go back to my hometown and joining the other practitioners. By Master's plan, within a few months, I found a job in my hometown. Just as my work was going smoothly, one of my partners was doing something detrimental to our business. I was very anxious but did not know what to do, because he was affecting me and Dafa. I eventually developed a hatred for this partner, as he had given up his integrity for the sake of profit. I was unable to see this incident clearly from the Fa, and I was not in a good cultivation state. Even though I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil behind my partner, I had no compassion, and as a result, my righteous thoughts had no effect.
At that time, I was able to feel the intensity of the war between good and evil in other dimensions and its effects on my human side. As I was complaining about my partner to my family, I blurted out, “It isn't easy for him either!” I immediately had tears in my eyes and had much less hatred toward my partner. I realized that Master was pointing out that I should look at things from the other person's perspective. I realized that we need to “Treat all beings with kindness.” (“Righteous Gods” from Hong Yin Volume II) Next I saw the words, “Myriad evils weeded out, myriad beings brought to life.” (“Pause to Think” from Hong Yin Volume II) I understood that the evil is behind this problem, that my partner is also a victim. I should use righteous thoughts to save him. I shared my thoughts with fellow practitioners and asked them to help with sending righteous thoughts.
My heart felt a lot lighter without the hatred. One afternoon, I saw many “little people” in front of me when I was sending righteous thoughts. They were running from left to right, and as I took a closer look, those “little people” were all images of my partner. I knew that they were being saved and felt relieved inside. My mind came back to a state of calmness and I had a deeper understanding of “compassion.”
Soon, my partner's attitude changed and our business followed our original plan. From this incident, I learned that what may seem like a conflict between people should not be treated as an ordinary matter. Instead, I need to look at it according to the Fa and resolve it with righteous thoughts. I also felt the power of practitioners acting as a whole body.
Little did I know, that was just the beginning of more upcoming conflicts! In the new company, a majority of the employees were recruited by me from my previous workplaces. I thought that my job would go smoothy since I knew almost everyone there. Surprisingly, in the next few days, some of my trusted colleagues turned ugly because of their competitiveness, and blamed me for everything. I was saddened. At that time, I only recognized my attachments to “emotion,” and did not learn anything more based on the Fa. Later on, a colleague got promoted to be my supervisor. I used to supervise him and he was not even a good worker. He then pushed me around at work. He blamed all the failures on me and claimed all the credit. Even one of my old friends went to him to spread rumors about me. My other colleagues gossiped about my situation as well. Some said that I should stand up for myself, and some said that I was the one that brought in the bad influences. My working environment became chaotic. I would have a good day if my supervisor was not at work, and my heart would feel heavy whenever I thought about him in the morning before heading to work.
I knew there must be other reasons beyond what appeared on the surface. I wanted to send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it, but did not know what to eliminate and negate, as my righteous thoughts had no effect on the situation. I still could not figure out the reason: what have I done wrong? How can they treat me like this! I was enduring the pressure at work while searching for the cause of all my troubles. For a period of time, I had severe headaches, and I could not push myself to send righteous thoughts. Just when I felt hopeless, “Disciples’ righteous thoughts are strong Master has the power to turn the tide” (“Master-Disciple Grace” in Hong Yin Volume II) appeared in my mind. I suddenly felt relaxed. Master was pointing out to me that all these will pass. I needed to see my troubles with righteous thoughts and cultivate myself.
I remembered my fellow practitioners' sharing about “searching within,” so I gave it a try. I understand that “one's appearance reflects what's within” means that the outside environment is a reflection of one's inner state. Therefore, looking at my surrounding environment would help me find the causes within myself. I can find them and look at them according to Dafa, and then either eliminate or harmonize them. Once I had the wish to “search within,” Dafa showed me the essence of my troubles as I was reading “Realms” from Essentials for Further Advancement:
“A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself.”
As I read the word “jealousy,” my heart moved. Was this it? Aren't my colleagues' arguments about compensation and work distribution based on jealousy? Furthermore, selfishness is what lurks behind the jealousy.
After sharing with my fellow practitioners, they agreed that the problem was jealousy. Through sharing, we realized that jealousy was not supposed to exist in our dimension. We should not accept it and let it interfere with Fa rectification, and we should eliminate it right away. Once I could see it clearly, the heavy feeling in me disappeared, and my anger toward those around me disappeared, too. Instead, I took pity on those who were being manipulated by jealousy. At the same time, I understood that I can only purify myself once I let go of my ordinary human mentality. Then my supernormal side will emerge.
I studied Master's Fa about reincarnation as a group. As I thought about my colleagues and me, I cried. I understood that they came to this world with me for the Fa. It does not matter how their human side treats me. I still have to treasure them, because their human sides are not their true self. I am the one who needed to see things clearly!
In the following days, even though my environment did not change much, my heart was lightened. I understood that since I was not being proactive about cultivation, Master used the old forces to awaken me and push me forward. Through the actions of the people around me, Master allowed me to see all the impurities in my dimension that needed to be cleared away, for instance placing blame, competitiveness, starting trouble, saving face, looking down on others, mind games, etc. All of these were mindsets formed in ordinary human society in the past. They were being expressed through me, but they do not represent my true self.
What happened later furthermore enabled me to understand the seriousness of cultivation. By chance I saw the salary information of all the employees in my company. The figures were actually inaccurate, but I thought they were real at the time. My heart was moved, as I saw that my boss had lowered my salary and raised others without telling me—this was so unfair! Once I had this thought, my heart started to turn. I suddenly realized, “My jealousy is back. This is the root of the problems!” I thought that I did not have “jealousy” in me anymore, but apparently it was still deep inside of me, waiting for a reason to emerge. Jealousy is everywhere. No wonder Master talked about it separately in Zhuan Falun. On the surface, I might have appeared benevolent, but I was not able to truly feel happy for others when they had done something good. I was awakened. I was so far away from true purity. I must pay attention to my every thought, and find the elements that are not based on the Fa and eliminate them, thus purifying myself.
In the quiet night, as I was reading fellow practitioners' sharings and thinking about my recent experience, I had the strong desire to eliminate all of my attachments and find my true self. I thought about several people who had “hurt me the most” in my life. I cried again. I had no resentment in me, instead, I felt thankful and close toward them. I again experienced the power of compassion, as I recognized that mercy is a natural expression of gods, not humans. I used to think very hard about how to do things to be merciful, but now I know that I would know what to do once I improved my own level. Without xinxing elevation, actions on the surface must be controlled by human thinking. I understood that to cultivate, one does not need to worry too much about what is on the surface, but instead we should strive to understand the Fa and elevate our level. I knew that through my colleagues, I had elevated myself in the Fa and should thank them. I am thankful for Master's arrangements to bring them near me since none of them are from the local area. During this short period of time, I know that Master had eliminated many bad elements in me, and thus my body and heart feel very much relaxed now.
My experiences in the past year deeply moved me. After “cultivating” for so many years, I actually did not know how to cultivate, and I have just learned to “search within” after sharing with fellow practitioners. I feel both regretful and fortunate, because I am finally benefiting from “searching within.” Are there still fellow practitioners who are stuck in the conflicts of right and wrong, do not know how to “search within” and use our higher level mindset to take care of and control human level conflicts? I hope that my limited understandings can be of some use for fellow practitioners, in their efforts to let go of complex human thoughts, accept our “enemies,” and be compassionate to human beings. We need to elevate ourselves within everyday conflicts, find our true selves and save sentient beings.
The time is tight but our road is long. I know that I still have a lot of attachments to let go of and countless lives to save. I thank my fellow practitioners who shared thoughts with me again and again to help me understand the Fa. I also hope all of my fellow practitioners will let go of the human ideology and accept others, understand fellow practitioners with compassion and not get separated from the one body and lose this cultivation opportunity.
Category: Improving Oneself
