(Clearwisdom.net)
Where Is My Home?
I went to college in China in the 1970s and felt lost. After the Tienanmen Square student massacre on June 4, 1989, the main interest of college students in China changed. It was all about studying abroad or starting a business after graduation. I didn't find many of my peers studying hard. Any talk of searching for the meaning of life would have labeled you as weird. I felt lost and disappointed in college.
Where did man come from? Where are we going? What is the meaning of life? The mystery of life and death had always puzzled me. I enjoy studying and thinking. I have always been self-motivated when it comes to studying because I was searching for answers. Different trends came and went and added fun and excitement on campus. Yet I wasn't interested in any of them. I was desperately unhappy, constantly fighting an internal battle. Part of me wanted to fit in, but the other part of me wanted to be true to my search for truth. Those days I spent most of my time in the library because of my desire to search. I once read a Chinese novel entitled Where Is My Home. I lay my head on the desk and began to cry as I read. The reality is we are destroying beautiful things little by little. If wealth, power, and love are not what a man should pursue, then what should we be searching for?
Then something marvelous happened in my junior year. One day at dusk, when it was breezy and cool, I left my dormitory for a walk. I looked up at the red clouds of the setting sun. All of sudden, a distant yet clear voice spoke to me, "Your family misses you! Your home is in heaven far, far away! Remember to return home!" That marvelous yet confusing moment was forever imprinted in my mind. I asked myself repeatedly, "Isn't my home on earth my true home? Where on earth is my home? Why have I come here?" These questions were finally answered when I started practicing Falun Gong.
The Mystery Solved and My Mind Rectified
After I finished college, I was assigned to work at a chemical plant in Qingdao where interpersonal relationships were very complicated. Since my job had nothing to do with my major in college, I spent most of my time chitchatting. I was bored and disgusted. I could not decide whether to find another job or stay and learn from my colleagues how to play games. One day after another, I stayed where I was, and I knew I was becoming one of them.
In 1996 a college intern named Ajia came to my department. One day I saw him reading Zhuan Falun. I had heard about this book. My mother had started practicing Falun Gong that same year. As a result of a car accident she had a comminuted fracture in her lower back and had been disabled ever since. To get downstairs, she had to put both hands on the railings and take each step very slowly. She could not ride a bicycle any more. In less than four months after she started practicing Falun Gong, she made an astonishing improvement. I witnessed my own mother briskly walking downstairs on her own. She also started to ride a bicycle again, with me on the back seat. My younger brother and I both encouraged her to keep practicing Falun Gong. After all, it had worked miracles on her. However, when my mother asked me to join her, I refused right away. How could a young girl like me practice qigong? I was not a retired old lady.
That was why it struck me as incredulous that a college student like Ajie should practice Falun Gong. "Why don't you read this book? It's rather good," Ajie said with a shy smile. Driven by curiosity and politeness, I read Zhuan Falun for the first time. I was an atheist at the time, so I didn't remember much of the contents, and I was skeptical. I also had a ton of questions, but one sentence made a remarkable impression on me. Teacher said,
"One should return to one’s original, true self; this is the real purpose of being human." (Lecture One of Zhuan Falun)
Indeed, it seemed to be the answer I had been searching for many years. It was rather surprising that this book seemed to know all the questions I had, as all of my questions were answered in the book when I read it the second time. I was muddleheaded when I started reading the book, but by the time I finished, I felt as if my mind was cleansed. If everything in the book was true, that was genuine beauty. "I want to follow Teacher back to my true home." I made up my mind that, although Falun Gong appeared to be mysterious to me, I would learn to practice Falun Gong's sitting meditation.
One evening about a month later, I sat in the double lotus position. My hands had just joined together when I felt as though there was a man next to me holding me and lifting my entire body up off the floor. I automatically started to do the hand signs. I was frightened and opened my eyes right away, but there was no one there. All my thoughts stopped. I seemed to be able to hear my world collapsing. I felt a wave of shock and joy wash over my brain. I had studied science in college. I knew my hands could not have possibly moved without any external force. The experience illustrated to me that Teacher was real and that there were other dimensions. Teacher must have installed a qi mechanism in my body, and I was so excited. I told Teacher in my heart, "Teacher, you have started to watch over me when I have not had a steadfast faith in you! Now I really believe in you. I really believe in you!" Thus I started practicing Falun Gong.
Falun Gong taught me that I must be a good person wherever I was. Gradually I learned how to cultivate my mind. I thought, "If I want to become a better person, I should do my job well." I decided not to find a new job. I worked harder than ever. I used to be arrogant and egocentric and did things my own way. If I did not respect someone, I would pound the table and argue even if it was my boss. I had no regard for other people's feelings. One day I enraged a new, young chairman. He was so furious that he slammed the door and left. I was competitive and vain, and I refused to accept any criticism. I often threw fits and cried. After I started studying the Fa, I finally saw how my words had hurt other people's feelings. I thought I was merely speaking my mind, but the truth was that I had no regard for anyone else's feelings. I was selfish.
My department was not profitable, so no one wanted to work there. I now no longer make a scene, and I have let go of my ego and try to do things in the simplest way possible. I try to get my job done in a way that is convenient to my colleagues. My employer rates my work performance highly. I look after older colleagues. I arrive at work early and leave work late. I volunteer to run errands such as buying lunches and getting hot water for them. I show respect for managers regardless of their performance, and I have never since talked back to any of my managers. It is a simple job, but I have been recognized as a pioneer every year. Since the Chinese Communist regime began its suppression of Falun Gong in 1999, my managers have been supportive of me and have even protected me and my fellow practitioners at work. Their attitude towards Falun Gong is a reflection of our kindness and our behavior at work.
Dafa Bestowed Wisdom Upon Me
A company's fate is in the hands of the market, so the sales department is crucial. The sales force is required to perform and to be reliable. Many salespeople become selfish once they have won over their clients. It is a challenge for the company to monitor them. My bosses trusted me because I practice Falun Gong. I have never thought of transferring to another department, but one day I was given a position in the import and export department that everyone envied.
I did not have any relevant experience. In fact, I wasn't that good in English nor did I know much about foreign trade. Yet Falun Gong had bestowed wisdom upon me. Because of my good xinxing and Falun Gong, I became a high-level salesperson within a year.
I conduct myself as a cultivator. I treat our clients and suppliers with sincerity, kindness, and tolerance. I do not beg or lower myself before clients. I adhere to my principles and do not do things that compromise the interests of the company. At the same time, I try to think from their perspective and help them out the best I can. Whether I get the deal or not, I treat them with the kindness that is required of a Falun Gong practitioner.
Once a new client that I had never met told me, "I felt as though I was basking in a spring breeze when I heard your voice. You seem to be different from anyone else." When I told him I had a personal faith and that I believed in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, he was delighted. "My grandmother is just like you," he said. "I wish you all good luck and happiness. May you be rewarded for your good deeds." During the five years that I was incarcerated in prison for practicing Falun Gong, some of my clients asked to visit me in prison. A client even asked around and found a way to send me 500 yuan.
Importers and exporters must deal with shipping companies. Shipping companies try to get business deals from us, so they often send us gifts and treat us to lunches and dinners. They are always cautious when they talk to us so as to avoid offending us. Our salespeople act inferior before their clients, but they act like superiors before the shipping companies. If a shipping company makes a mistake, the salespeople often rail at them. One day a shipping company made a mistake, which caused a delay in the ship booking and, in turn, a likely delay in shipping. Just when I was about to throw a tantrum, I remembered that I was a Falun Gong practitioner. I calmed down and comforted the lady from the shipping company. "It's okay. You have always worked hard, and mistakes are unavoidable. Don't worry, we'll find a solution." She began to calm down and searched for a way. What appeared to be a hopeless situation was no longer hopeless. We found a ship at the last minute. The products left the port on time.
The department manager once asked us to expand our client base, which was a big challenge. We had no new channels or new client contacts. We had limited financial resources, so we could not afford to invest in advertisements or over the Internet. We have our own website, but we are not very famous, and we simply waited for clients to contact us. The department manager was also at his wits' end. I was new to the department, so I didn't know what to do either.
One day I was thinking in front of my computer when I had an idea. Teacher sent a complete idea into my mind: "Mutual promotion and mutual constraint. It may be difficult to enter through the front door, but it will be easy to try the back door. One has to pay for buyers' data, but the sellers' data is free." Indeed, why didn't I think of it before? We may not be able to get a list of buyers, but they have to make their contact information available for free when it is time to sell their products. A path was revealed to me. It did take me much time before I got in touch with many new clients. In a month I had cut deals with five new clients and earned a huge bonus. I knew the wisdom came from the Fa.
I am not a meticulous person, and I lose things often. One time a client asked me to photograph the products when they were boxed, but I forgot to send the photos out. Later on the photos were deleted. I was very upset. I didn't want to feel embarrassed or be criticized. I asked Teacher for His help, but I realized it was an attachment to fearing criticism. It was also an attachment to fame, and I should let it go. I must admit it when I make a mistake, and I should no longer feel upset and anxious. When I was prepared to face the music, the person who kept the cameras showed up. He said, "It's the strangest thing. Your deleted photos are still in the camera. How could that be? Could I have remembered it wrong?" Only I knew it was Teacher that manifested a miracle when he saw I had let go of my attachments.
I am not a very diligent disciple. I have stumbled and fallen repeatedly and made a lot of mistakes. Yet our compassionate Teacher has never given up on me. Teacher may not physically reside in China, but I know he is right beside me at all times. He encourages me to persevere and he picks me up when I fall.
I was once lost in my cultivation. Teacher often gave me hints and brought fellow practitioners to help me out. When I finally made up my mind to rectify myself, I saw Teacher in a dream. I was a little boy, and Teacher was magnificently tall, and he wore a cassock. Teacher carried me on his back and took me out of a filthy place. He bent over and cleaned my hands and feet with clean water. Instantly my dimension was enveloped in affection and compassion that was capable of melting all things. This was the very first time I felt profoundly what compassion means. Instead of giving lectures or teaching theories, Teacher showed his compassion via real and powerful energy. I burst into tears, and I could not stop crying even after I woke up from the dream. The energy of that compassion stayed with me for a long time. After that I made up my mind to never fall prey to wicked lies. I shall follow our revered Teacher home.
After I have truly upgraded my cultivation level, I can now look back at my life and see I have lived many lives only to practice Falun Gong. All the trials and tribulations we face are a path back home to heaven.
