A Young Practitioner's Experience of Returning to Dafa
(Minghui.org) Cultivation involves cultivating oneself, clarifying the truth, practicing Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, studying the Fa, and sending righteous thoughts. In the beginning, cultivating in Dafa seemed very hard to do. However, I later discovered that if I did not obsess over ordinary human desires, then cultivation was not hard at all.
I also realized that only by being faithful to the Fa can we rid ourselves of our different desires and attachments. The more I studied the Fa, the more I became faithful to the Fa. If I did not study the Fa regularly, I became more and more like an ordinary person. I've experienced this firsthand.
I started practicing Dafa in 1995, when I was nine years old. At that time, it seemed like I didn't understand anything. I only knew that every day I had to practice the exercises with my dad. A lot of practitioners used to go to a nearby school playground to do the exercises and listen to Teacher's lectures.
Then, my dad invited all of the Dafa practitioners in my village to do the exercises and study the Fa at our home. Since I was more interested in playing than doing the exercises, my dad had to supervise me whenever I did them.
I remember hurrying home from school to do the exercises so that I could then go out and play with my friends. Now, when I think back on that time, I realize that the chance to practice Dafa is not easy to come by!
Right after the persecution began in 1999, my father was illegally arrested and our home was searched and ransacked many times. Everyone in our family was very scared. No one dared to practice for a long time. Then, after receiving Teacher's new article, we resumed our practice.
I remember riding my bike to school every day, handing out information about Falun Dafa to my fellow classmates. I would tell them, “Falun Dafa is good!” and when no one was around, I would sing Dafa songs and recite the Fa. Every day I sent righteous thoughts and went out with my mother to hand out Dafa-related materials.
When I went to college, I started to waver in my practice. I only took a copy of Zhuan Falun with me because it made me feel more comfortable when my fears surfaced. Since I failed to create an environment for cultivation, whenever I tried to explain the Fa to my friends, they rarely understood what I was talking about.
I found myself drifting further and further away from Dafa. I rarely watched videos of Teacher's lectures, and I almost never clarified the truth. I seemed like I cared more about physical things than spiritual things. I would watch Teacher's lectures every now and then, and whenever I watched them, I felt a sense of guilt, as if I had not lived up to Teacher's expectations. This feeling of guilt would temporarily renew my interest in cultivating; however, I often felt like an ordinary human being.
Three years ago, my face was covered with acne due to an allergic reaction to a makeup product that I had been using. My face looked very ugly and the acne was everywhere! I tried numerous products to get rid of it, but none of them worked. I was very worried.
A fellow classmate suggested that I see her doctor, who she said would prescribe a very effective remedy for my specific problem. Since her skin looked great, I couldn't resist, and scheduled an appointment.
Once I got to the hospital, I went to the receptionist desk to make an appointment. The lady there said that the doctor was ill, and that I would have to wait 10 days to see her. I was very disappointed, but as a practitioner, I couldn't help question myself if I was doing the right thing. However, since my mind was filled with ordinary human notions, I returned to the hospital 10 days later and saw the doctor. The doctor didn't really seem to care about me at all. She just asked me if I had any plans to have a child within the next two years. I replied, “Of course not!”
She then said that the medicine she was going to prescribe had some side effects, but they would go away in a year or two. She handed me the medicine before I realized what was going on. Once I got home, I did an online search for the medicine. I discovered that although it was effective in getting rid of acne, it was also very toxic. I was shocked. Then, I thought to myself, “Am I a practitioner? I can't do this. Isn't this a hint from Teacher?” I decided not to take the medicine.
Looking back, I realized that my acne wasn't really a big deal at all. It was just a test for me to pass, a test that I had failed many times before. It felt so good to finally pass the test! Teacher told us that cultivation isn't child's play and that we will be repeatedly tested to see if we are faithful to Dafa. In reality, a lot of things are learned step-by-step. Even another person's fortune is also part of their cultivation.
The night before I started school, I dreamed that numerous Falun had fallen from the sky. I shouted, “Falun Dafa is good!” everywhere I went. I also clarified the truth to every one I met. When I woke up, I felt ashamed for not cultivating myself well all these years. I decided that I would start acting like a true Dafa practitioner. As soon as I began to clarify the truth in earnest, I discovered that it wasn't that hard anymore. I noticed that when I talked to people about the so-called self-immolation incident in Tiananmen Square in 2001, they usually said that they knew it was fake.
I remember how hard it used to be to clarify the facts about Dafa. When I discovered how different things were now, I became very excited and clarified the facts in-depth to everyone I met, including encouraging people to quit the CCP.
I recall an incident that happened one day in my English class. My teacher wanted everyone to get up in front of the class and give a presentation. One student, who had repeatedly accused Falun Dafa of many bad things, went up and gave his presentation. I immediately sent righteous thoughts, and thought that this was a great opportunity to clarify the facts to my class.
I thought for a moment, and asked the student exactly how he is able to differentiate fake news from real news in China. He said he didn't know. Then, I asked him if the news in China was real or fake, and if it was fake, what would he do about it? He said that he would tell everyone what the real news was, even if it was hard to do. I replied, “I agree with you, as I am faced with the same situation myself.”
Then, I explained to everyone that the facts in his presentation were not correct. I also said that the news, as reported by China's state-run media on the so-called self-immolation incident in Tiananmen Square in 2001—which supposedly involved Falun Dafa practitioners—was also fake.
Then my teacher asked me if I was going offtrack, because there were no slides in the student's presentation that showed the Tiananmen Square incident. Shortly after, an older classmate of mine told me that she already knew that the state-run media did not report the truth of what happened that day. I then felt that the environment had changed, like all of a sudden everyone knew the truth.
In conclusion, I would like to remind Dafa practitioners who are not doing what they're supposed to be doing, that the past cannot be changed. However, I wish that all of you would change yourselves. Are your obsessions more important than Dafa? If so, then I hope all of you will turn over a new leaf like I did. Please do not fall into an ordinary person's way of thinking again. I know that what I've said has already been said before by many other practitioners, but this is my own experience. I wish I could be with every one of you so that we could all encourage each other!