(Minghui.org) I am a veteran Falun Dafa practitioner. Over the past ten years, I changed from not knowing what cultivation practice represented to realizing the seriousness of cultivation and the preciousness of Falun Dafa. I am at this juncture because of Master’s protection.
--By the author
Greetings, esteemed Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I haven't participated in earlier China Fahuis because I was held back by the thought: “I am not practicing well.” I know that the Fahui is precious, and I didn't dare to treat it casually. After reading articles from the 9th China Fahui, I realized that it was time for me to share my understandings with fellow practitioners.
Learning to be a Cultivator
I am a veteran practitioner. Over the past ten years, I changed from not knowing what cultivation practice represented to realizing the seriousness of cultivation and the preciousness of Falun Dafa. During these years, I have survived ups and downs due to Master's protection. I cannot express my gratitude to Master. What I can do is focus on actual practice and cultivate diligently to repay Master’s grace.
When I first started learning Dafa, I had no idea how to cultivate. I only did the exercises. I was reluctant to attend group study and thought, “I finally have a day off but have to use it for group Fa study. Reading the book at home is the same.” Actually it’s not the same. Unfortunately, I did not realize it at that time. However, I went to the group study because I was worried about my reputation. I held so many human attachments when I studied the Fa, so I didn't benefit from the group study. I learned nothing. Yet, despite being such a foolish person, Master did not give up on me. I wasn't a diligent cultivator but I did understand that Falun Dafa is good and that it could raise one's moral level, purify people’s hearts and treat illnesses.
Arrest and Persecution
When the persecution started in July 1999 I just couldn't understand the reasons behind this tragedy. The ruling Chinese Communist Party (CCP) must have misunderstood. I went to Beijing to clarify the facts about Falun Dafa, but I was arrested before I found the Complaints Bureau.
In 2003, I was illegally arrested and sentenced to a three-year prison term. I hadn't studied the Fa diligently and so was taken advantage of by the evil. During those three years, I wrote two letters to the Discipline Inspection Bureau to report on the prison situation, including that the guards ordered prisoners to beat practitioners and about other types of torture.
People from the Discipline Inspection Bureau came to talk to me. I was not frightened and explained everything by quoting existing Chinese law. I said that practitioners live by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance while the guards and police use violence. It’s easy to tell which is good and which is bad. Yet, they are still trying to “transform” good people.
I asked, “What do they want us to 'transform' into?” Then I said that the CCP spreads the rumor about Master collecting money, so I pointed to the exorbitant prison prices and compared them to the low cost of Falun Dafa materials. I said, “Who indeed is collecting money?” They were not happy to hear this.
One guard said, “You are suffering here while your Master is enjoying his life abroad.” I answered, “What was said on television and radio are lies. I pointed to the falsehoods concerning the “Self-immolation Hoax.” They didn't respond.
When I arrived, the head guard cursed Falun Dafa daily during meetings. I clarified the facts about Falun Dafa several times. One day, she praised Falun Dafa after the morning exercise. I was really happy for her at that moment.
Letting Go of Attachments
Master suggested that there should be material sites throughout Mainland China. We helped fellow practitioners install computer systems and taught them how to use them. This effort helped me recognize and let go of attachments.
I always helped elderly practitioners that were computer illiterate patiently. This was Master’s arrangement, giving me the opportunity to get rid of attachments, including arrogance, vanity, and so on. I never felt my efforts to be inconvenient and always helped practitioners to keep their computers running or bringing them up to snuff when they forgot certain functions.
Once I worked on a computer until midnight. When I left, the gate was locked. I asked Master for help and it opened. I thanked Master in my mind, “Thank you Master!” I realized that if practitioners hold righteous thoughts and keep the Fa in mind, Master will protect and help them.
Facing Persecution Without Fear
During the 2008 Olympics, I was arrested for posting truth clarification stickers with another practitioner. To help the other practitioner escape, I pretended to give her the bag. I distracted the policeman and so the other practitioner escaped.
I was taken to a detention center. I let go of all my attachments and was without fear or worry, I was trying to save people. I did not cooperate with the guards and refused to answer any questions. I was sending forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil behind them. At the same time I thought, “I cannot stay here for long. I will get out of here as soon as I clarify the facts about Falun Dafa.”
I was held for 15 days During that time I send forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour, practiced the exercises, and persuaded people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. They sent two people to try to get me to renounce Falun Dafa. I told them, “Falun Dafa helps improve people's moral standards. It teaches people to not fight back when hit or insulted. That means society will become good. You must not persecute good people.” They said, “The CCP feeds and pays you, why are you against it?” I replied, “If you don’t persecute us, will the CCP pay you? We didn't fight the CCP, we only tell people about it.”
They then told me, “There was one old practitioner who was ill, and a group of Falun Gong practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts around him and read Zhuan Falun with him. But he died, and all the practitioners left.” I responded, “I don’t believe it.” One young man said, “I was there taking pictures.” I realized that it was he who had arrested the practitioner. I said, “It’s you who killed him. If you hadn’t arrested him, he wouldn’t have died.”
That made them angry. I asked them if they were from the Domestic Security Division or State Security Bureau. They said that they were from the State Security Bureau. They were the spies. I remembered that Master has said we must save spies as well. I was moved by Master’s compassion and benevolence and ashamed that I was not kind. They were silent for a while and said “We will come again.” I said, “I look forward to it.” I thought that they had come to hear the facts about Falun Dafa. They did not come back.
After I returned home, I thought about the reason I had been arrested. I discovered that I was still fearful. Although I was doing the three things, I did not have righteous thoughts. I was scared to do things that opened a loophole for the old forces.
Fellow practitioners told me that it was rare to be released so early during the Olympic Games. I knew it was Master who protected me.
Pay Attention to Actual Cultivation
I'm a fighter and am impatient. I often yell when I am impatient and never listen to others. I look down on people. For a long time, I thought I cultivated well and had given up many attachments. But, when looking within, I realized that I had not let go of many attachments.
I helped a practitioner in her 80s who could not see well. I cleaned her room and did the washing. Bu, whenever I asked her to study Fa, she said that she could not see. She fell asleep when I read the book to her. I was not kind to her and thought she was not a good practitioner. I thought that she did not pay attention to actual cultivation and was caught by the evil and persecuted. Later, I openly showed my resentment. I lost my patience and even lost my temper. I wasn't patient or kind and lacked benevolence. I hurt her instead of helping her.
Master said:
“I often say that if all a person wants is the well-being of others and if this is without the slightest personal motivation or personal understanding, what he says will move the listener to tears. I have not only taught you Dafa, but have also left you my demeanor. While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could! If others are not convinced deep down inside but only superficially comply, they will still conduct themselves according to their own will when no one is around to see them.” (“Clearheadedness” from Essentials For Further Advancement) (official translation)
I looked within to find what made me treat this lady like that and realized that I was selfish. I asked myself, “How have I cultivated over these past years? I lose my kindness when there are conflicts. All the attachments are from selfishness. If I don’t let go my selfishness, I will never cultivate well.” After deep reflection, I realized the seriousness of cultivation. It’s not just a form to show others. I must cultivate my heart! I must keep every single thought and mind on the Fa and regard myself as a real practitioner. Only then can I be called a Falun Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period.
After I improved, I was faced with a new test. I knew it was arranged by Master. An elderly practitioner wanted to learn how to make Falun Dafa truth-clarification materials. I promised to teach her, but we had a misunderstanding about safety. I was brusque and loud, and the practitioner asked me to leave and said some bad words.
I knew it was a test. I had to keep calm and should not hold a grudge or hate. I should not argue, either. Master said:
“Don’t argue when people argue with you
Cultivation is looking within for the cause
Wanting to explain just feeds the attachment
Breadth of mind, unattached, brings true insight” (“Don’t Argue” from Hong Yin III) (official translation)
I did not leave, was not angry, and helped finish the task of installing a dual system on her computer and taught her how to operate it. I had had nothing to eat the entire day, but I did not feel hungry or angry. Actually, I thanked her a lot because it was Master using her mouth to give me the chance to improve. I also apologized to her about my not being kind.
We both realized that building up a material production site is not easy. Once there is a loophole, the old forces will come and interfere. If we can’t reform ourselves in time, there will be bigger tribulations. Therefore, we must keep righteous thoughts. Practitioners should cooperate and shouldn't create any gaps between us, which will bring unexpected losses.
Only Studying the Fa Well Can Lead to the Right Cultivation Path
I'm a busy person and time is very precious for me. I get up at 3:30 a.m. daily to do the exercises and study one chapter in Zhuan Falun after sending forth righteous thoughts. Sometimes when time is limited, I listen to the Fa while driving in my car. Outside my home I will send messages over the Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) or make voice phone calls to clarify the facts about Falun Dafa, always sending forth righteous thoughts. I always keep the three things in mind. Despite being busy and tired, I will never neglect the responsibilities of a practitioner.
Sometimes when studying the Fa, I get distracted and think about other things. This is the disruption of thought karma. My heart is not always calm and I need to work on that.
I found a common phenomenon after communicating with fellow practitioners. When some practitioners, especially the elderly, do the five exercises, their positions are not very exact. Some are far different from what Master taught.
After July 20,1999, practitioners in mainland China lost the environment to practice together, so now they read the Fa and do the exercises at home. Some practitioners have not mastered the fundamentals of the practice.
It’s very difficult for them to correct everything now. I would like to suggest that practitioners demonstrate the positions during Fa study time.
Please kindly point out any shortcomings in my cultivation.
