(Minghui.org) When I first saw the notice requesting articles for the Minghui Fahui in China, my first thought was: “Time flies like an arrow.” When my mother asked me to contribute an article to the Conference, I told her that I didn't have time. Then my school break came. My mother asked me again, saying that the deadline for sending in articles was nearing. I said, “I don't cultivate well. So I don't know what to write.” My mother said, “Precisely because of this, you should write an article. You said you don't cultivate well. Then, which part do you think you don't cultivate well? You should write about it and share it with other practitioners. That way, you can expose the evil!” I was speechless, thinking, “If I write about my inadequacies, won't I lose face?”
I later changed my mind, as my mother shared an article with me, suggesting that practitioners who have not shared their experiences should quickly do so. In the beginning, the author had the same feeling as me, thinking that he didn't cultivate well, and there was thus nothing to share. However, he later enlightened and upgraded his xinxing, feeling that he had many things to share. I realized that if he could do it, I could do it as well. I thus picked up a pen and started to write. The following is my understanding from cultivating in the Fa for the past few years. Please point out anything inadequate.
1. Letting Go of My Attachment to the Internet
My grades were pretty good when I was in elementary school, and my teachers liked me a lot. However, since fourth grade, in the eyes of my teachers, I was a poor student. At that time, many of my classmates liked to play video games. One day after school, several of them asked me if I wanted to play video games with them, and said that they would pay for the game. Out of curiosity, I went with them. Without realizing it, I gradually got addicted to it and I couldn't escape the need to play Internet games.
My grades plummeted from the high 90s to the failing 40s. While many of my classmates went home directly after school, I went to the video shop. I returned home very late at night. Fearing that my mother would be angry with me, I always made up excuses by lying to her. One day, my mother caught me playing the games and smacked me. However, I still didn’t truly recognize the seriousness of the matter, and continued playing video games as usual.
When I was in the fifth grade, my mother asked a fellow practitioner to share with me on these attachments of mine. After talking, I realized the seriousness of the matter, and decided to quit playing video games. But I was completely unable to control myself at the time. I felt as though as soon as I left my house, someone took control of me. When I saw a video shop, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to go in. My mother had repeatedly told me why playing video games was not good. Although I didn't want to play, I couldn't control myself.
I played video games for another semester. My mother asked me to recite Zhuan Falun. Master said,
“At the very microscopic level, it is all the image of that possessing spirit or animal. If it is given to you, what will you do? 'It is easier to invite an immortal than to see one off.'”
No wonder I felt very dizzy every time after I returned from the video shop. I knew it was because those bad beings from the video games had come into me. I felt scared. When I got off school, I just went home quickly, and I stopped talking about video games with my classmates. When I saw a video shop, I pretended not to see it. However, as time went by, when I saw a video shop, I still wanted to play. When this happened, the above passage that Master taught in Zhuan Falun came to my mind. But my wanting to play quickly disappeared. After studying and reciting the Fa, my grades improved significantly.
When I began middle school, I took a lot of classes to catch up, so the time I spent in Fa study and exercises was shortened. Plus, I was not a self-disciplined person. Thus, I again fell into the big dye vat of human society. I started hanging out with classmates who had poor grades. One day, they told me they didn't want to go to the night school, and wanted to go to the Internet café. They asked me if I wanted to go with them. At first, I said “No” to them.
However, when I was ready to go to night school, I kept thinking about whether I should go to the Internet cafe with my friends or not. After much deliberation, I decided to go with them. At that time, I was thinking, “I have never visited an Internet cafe before. I just want to go there once. It shouldn't be a big deal. As long as I come home on time, my mother won’t know where I’ve gone.” That was my very human mentality. That night, I went with my friends to the Internet café and they paid for me. I wasn't too good with the game because it was my first time playing it. On our way home, one of my friends joked, “You are such a poor player. You couldn't even beat me.” After he said this, I couldn’t take it, because of my big attachment to competition and fame. I told him, “Don't be too arrogant. Just wait, I will knock you down.”
So I once again became addicted to playing games. My mind was always thinking about how to beat my friends and become the number one gamer. Even when I was in class, my mind was always filled with scenes from the video games. I gradually started taking money from my parents to play video games, and I started to skip classes. At home, I lied to my parents. In school, I lied to my teachers. My grades started to deteriorate again. I started to see rats and centipedes in my house. When my mother saw them, she asked me, “Did you do anything bad outside?” In the past, every time after I did something bad, rats and centipedes would come to our house. I was in a panic and said to her, “No! I didn't.” My mother found out that I had taken a lot of money from them, so she called the school to find out. My teacher told her that the school hadn't asked students for any money. My teacher also told her that I had been cutting classes. My mother was very angry when she discovered this, and asked my father to go to the Internet café to look for me. I was playing computer games in the cafe when my father caught me. He was very angry and slapped my face.
That slap woke me up from the addiction of playing computer games. I lowered my head and ran home. After I got home, my parents told me a lot of things that could help me to quit. After the incident, I was determined to quit playing computer games. The next day however, I forgot everything. As soon as I walked into the classroom, someone asked me which level of the game I was playing on. This person was the one who I swore I would beat. I didn't pay attention to him and concentrated on my schoolwork. Seeing that I was silent, he got more excited and raised his voice to tell everyone in the class that he beat me. At that time, because my attachment to fame was so strong, I thought, “I will beat you hard, and after that I will stop playing.” Although I knew I shouldn't play computer games anymore, when it came to being challenged, I found all kinds of excuses to cover my attachment. So again I got addicted to computer games, and I skipped classes even more often. In the past, I only skipped night classes. Now, I also skipped afternoon classes. Even when I was in school, I always talked about computer games with my friends. I was really tarnishing Dafa at that time.
2. Cultivating in the Environment of Young Dafa Disciples During Summer Vacation
I finally managed to finish the first year of middle school. Then summer vacation came. During that time, a special class for young practitioners was held in our locality. My mother sent me to join it. I was reluctant to go at first. My mother wanted me to finish reciting Zhuan Falun, and out of curiosity, I decided to go. On the first day, I found out that most of the practitioners in the class were university students, except for one practitioner (who was slightly younger than me), and were also not really diligent in cultivation. The next day, I went to the class as usual.
I realized it was easier to calm myself down when practicing the exercises with other practitioners in the class. However, sometimes my mind wasn't there, and I would fall asleep. Our daily routines in the class were studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts. If we had time, we also shared our understandings on the Fa. For other practitioners in the class, it was a precious moment, but for me, it was most demanding because I was very shy and afraid to share with them. I just listened to their sharings and nodded my head when I agreed with them, and shook it when I didn't. My mother also asked some university students to share with me. When it was time for sharing in the class, I was always very nervous, thinking, “Please don't ask me to share.”
Sometimes practitioners in the class went to the neighborhood near the school in the afternoon to hand out truth-clarification fliers. They never asked me to go with them, because they thought I was too shy, but one day I went with them. I teamed up with a practitioner who was a high school student. After we finished handing out fliers in our designated zone, we still had many fliers left, so we decided to hand them out in the nearby neighborhood. Other practitioners had already covered that area however, so we went looking for another place.
We went to a residential building, and as we were climbing up the stairs, a man passed by us. We didn't say anything and kept climbing up the stairs. Suddenly, a middle-age man from upstairs saw us, and started to shout, “Hey, what are you handing out? Falun Gong materials?” We started to run down the stairs as soon as we heard him shouting. The man that we saw when we entered the building also heard his shouting and replied to him, “Hey, why are you shouting?” The middle-age man said, “Someone is handing out Falun Gong fliers.” The man looked at us as we passed him from the stairs. We quickly exited the building. When I turned my head, I saw them talking and pointing their fingers at us. We sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Master to help us, and we managed to get home safely.
Half of the summer vacation had passed and I really wanted to go home. My mother introduced a fellow practitioner who studied psychology to share with me. Probably because she studied psychology, she was different from other practitioners. I opened my heart to her and shared a lot of things with her, including all of my inadequacies. For once I didn't feel shy or embarrassed when speaking about my attachments. Gradually, through her help, I was able to talk and share more in front of other practitioners. Because my grades were very poor, my mother asked a fellow practitioner (a university student) to tutor me. I practiced the exercises and studied the Fa in the morning and went for tutoring in the afternoon. At night, we all went out to save sentient beings. When we came back, I had to finish the assignment given by my tutor. During the entire summer vacation, I managed to practice all five sets of exercises every day, study one chapter of Zhuan Falun, send forth righteous thoughts, and I also finished reciting Zhuan Falun. I was able recite Zhuan Falun once when I was seven or eight. This was my second time reciting Zhuan Falun.
During the summer vacation, I normally went to bed after I finished sending forth-righteous thoughts at midnight, and woke at 6:00 a.m. I felt very good about myself and didn't feel tired at all. I thought my time was well spent. Unlike before, when my mind was always filled with video games when I studied the Fa, I was now was able to calm down during Fa study.
In the blink of an eye, summer vacation was over. The fellow practitioners in my summer class had to go back to college, and my school was about to begin, too. During the summer vacation, I greatly benefited from being around other young practitioners. I was previously easily bothered and had a hot-temper. The greatest change I saw in myself was that I now always used the standard of Dafa to gauge my behavior, and I looked inside. My grades had improved from ranking in 40th place, to currently ranking in 10th place. I also won a “Progress Award” because of this. I knew that Master was trying to encourage me to do better. I knew that I had to do better and not waste my precious time in the Internet café like I had before.
When I looked back, I felt very regretful for what I did. In fact, among other practitioners in the summer class, I had been practicing in Dafa the longest. My mother told me that she had been unable get pregnant before she practiced Dafa. She had me after she took up the practice. Thus, I had already obtained the Fa even when I was in my mother's womb. My mother started taking me to the practice site every day when I was one month old. I had spent my early years in a Dafa environment. Even when I was very little, Master had started looking after me. When I was two years old, I injured my head in aa motorcycle accident, and I was sent to a hospital where the doctor sewed nine stitches into me. If this had happened to an everyday person, it would have caused brain damage, and I possibly would not have survived the accident.
One day when I was very young, I fell down an escalator. But I didn't feel any pain or have any bumps. Think about it, the edges of an escalator are very sharp, but I wasn't hurt at all. Wasn't it a miracle?
I’ve had 14 years of experience in cultivating in Dafa. I used to be a very good kid, but after entering the fourth grade, the big dye vat of everyday human society polluted me. According to a fellow practitioner who had his celestial eye open, many young practitioners my age were were affected more severely than me when they were little. But they had now surpassed me in cultivation. During the summer vacation, I had changed a lot. Through Fa study and reciting the Fa, I had deepened my understanding of the Fa principles.
Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“We do not need to be concerned with everyday people, as they just want to be everyday people and find temporary relief. You, however, are a practitioner. Don’t you want to continually purify your body? If it is attached to your body, when will you be able to get rid of it? In addition, it also has a certain amount of energy. Some people will wonder: "Why does Falun allow it to come? Don’t we have Teacher’s fashen to safeguard us?" There is a principle in our universe: Nobody will intervene if you want something yourself. As long as it is what you want, nobody will intervene. My fashen will stop you and give you hints. If it finds out that you are always like that, it will no longer take care of you. How can one be forced to practice cultivation? You cannot be made or forced to practice cultivation. It is up to you to truly make progress. No one can do anything about it if you do not wish to upgrade yourself. You have been taught the principles and the Fa. Who can you blame if you still don’t want to upgrade yourself? With regard to what you want, both Falun and my fashen will not intervene—this is for sure.”
After I read the passage, Master awakened me. I know what I have to do in the future. I will seize the opportunity during this limited time to save more sentient beings.
3. Young Dafa Disciples Must Seize All Opportunities to Save Sentient Beings
One day, my mother asked me to deliver “A Letter to Middle School Students” to the eighth grade students in my class. I thought it was a good idea to validate the Fa, so we folded the letters and put them into envelops. At 9:00 p.m., when students got off school, I ran into the class, and with Master's strengthening, I delivered all the letters and got home safe. The next day, I saw that many students were reading the letter.
I will try my best to live by Master's standard in the future, and won't fall short of Master's expectation of me. I will also negate the old forces' arrangement, walk on the path arranged by Master and return home with Master.
Thank you Master for your compassionate salvation and care. I cannot put in words how much I am grateful to you.
