Compassionately Saving Those Who Hurt Me
(Minghui.org) I would like to share my own enlightenment on how I let go of “self” and compassionately saved those persons who hurt me.
Before I began practicing Falun Gong, my husband had extramarital affairs and had asked me for a divorce. My happy family was on the brink of breakup. We lived separately, martially and monetarily. To get divorced, he was very mean to me. I was deeply hurt, and resentful and angry at his moral decline.
My younger sister introduced Falun Gong to me during that difficult period. After attending ten lectures, I began to understand the very essence of life. I became determined to be a true practitioner and conduct myself according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and I no longer felt resentment, anger, or grief. After searching inward for my own shortcomings and problems, I realized that because of my attachments to competition, intolerance, resentment, and anger, I hadn't seized opportunities to help him. I had instead pushed him away, causing him to get too lost to be pulled back. I should share a portion of the blame.
I began to treat him with lenience, caring for him in every respect. No matter how nice or how mean he was toward me, I always remained calm and compassionate so that he could surely see how I had changed by cultivating in Falun Dafa and the sacredness and beauty of Dafa.
My husband used to be healthy. But he started to suffer from gastric pain soon after he tried to get divorced. He tried a variety of treatments without any success and lost a lot of weight in just half a year. I heard about a medicine that was supposed to be very effective for stomach ailments. I purchased it for him without any hesitation despite the high price. I not only prepared the medicine for him but also made sure he took it. When he had to go out of town, I told him how to prepare the medicine and how much and when he had to take it. His stomach pain soon disappeared. He held my hands once and sincerely told me, “I can't leave you! I can't leave you!” I said to him, “Let's start over again and have a good life!”
A few days later, he was mean to me and asked for a divorce again. He then started having serious lower back pain that caused him difficulty walking. He was in a bad mood after being diagnosed with a prolapsed lumbar intervertebral disc. I still paid close attention to him and took good care of him. To save him from falling too far morally, I even asked for help from his mother, his sister, his brother-in-law, and his younger brother, but no one offered. I had a thought that even if the divorce was inevitable, I would still be good to him and guide him to a better path with the standards of Dafa and with the merciful attitude of a Dafa practitioner.
One day, he suddenly invited me and our son to dine out. I happily accepted the invitation. He said to us when we were eating, “This gong (he meant Falun Gong) is very good. You two should continue practicing it.” I quickly said to him, “Practice with us, please.” Unfortunately, he shook his head. He died suddenly a few days later. I am really happy for him that, before leaving the human world, he recognized the goodness of Dafa and expressed his positive attitude toward Dafa. I am also sorry that he missed the chance to practice.
My husband's entire family supported his intention to get a divorce, so it was a big test for me if I could follow Dafa's principles to handle his funeral and get along with his family. It also provided me an environment for my cultivation. During the funeral, I maintained my xinxing and firmly reminded myself that I was a Dafa practitioner. I actively cared for his entire family regardless of their attitudes toward me and quietly accepted their demands, even an unreasonable one, without argument. After the funeral, I gave my mother-in-law most of the condolence cash and other things. Soon after the funeral, she asked me for almost everything that had belonged to my late husband including comforts, sheets, clothes, shoes, sweaters, etc., and I gave her what she requested. In addition, I gave her something extra.
I have sent money, more than the amount my husband was sending, to my mother-in-law for the past ten-plus years since he died. I have traveled a long way many times to visit her and clarify the truth to the entire family. I told them of the huge changes in my son and me after we began practicing Falun Dafa. During my first visit one lunar New Year, my brother-in-law asked me to sit down and then bowed to me saying, “Sister-in-law, thank you!” My mother-in-law held my hands and whispered to ask whether I resented my husband. I replied, “No, I don't hate him.” She then continued, “You have treated me better than my own daughter has.” I couldn't imagine how bad my relationship with my husband and his family would have been had I not been a Falun Dafa practitioner. All of these good things were given by Dafa and Master.
Sincerely hoping her entire family would practice cultivation in Dafa, I gave my mother-in-law the book Zhuan Falun. She read it three times outright and said to me and my son, “This is a very good book. You two should continue practicing it.” I am very happy for her enlightenment at such a crucial period when Falun Gong is being brutally persecuted by the wicked Chinese Communist Party (CCP). She is now in her nineties. She is alert and able to take care of things herself. On one occasion, my younger brother-in-law took Zhuan Falun from me when he saw it in my hand and asked whether he could keep it. I replied to him smilingly, “Yes as long as you cherish it and protect it. But remember, you should finish the whole book the first time you read it.” He promised he would. He used to be very weak with many illnesses. In less than six months, this man in his fifties became energetic. He married a nice woman who has taken good care of my mother-in-law. Suddenly, everyone in the family became invigorated.
I visited my mother-in-law after the “Quit the CCP” movement started. My brother-in-law said to me as soon as he saw me, “The villagers didn't believe me when I told them yesterday that you were coming back today. They didn't think you would, since my brother died years ago. I even told them to find out for themselves today.” I smiled and said, “I want you to do one thing this time if you believe it is for your own good.” He answered, “Anything you want me to do is always a good thing for sure.” I said, “It is good. I want you to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations with an alias.” He responded positively. I then clarified the facts to the whole family and advised them to quit the CCP. As a result, 19 out of 25 family members did renounce the CCP. My parents-in-law never joined any CCP organizations. Except two relatives whom I hadn't met, only two persons refused to do so.
As to those pitiful women who had affairs with my husband, I was enlightened that they were also beings who came to the world for the Fa. They forgot their prehistoric vows and got lost in the human world because they had been deceived and were led down a wicked path by the evil CCP propaganda. How pitiful they were! As a Dafa practitioner, I felt it was my responsibility to save them. I found the first woman and gave her back all the evidence relating to the affair to end her worries first, and then gradually clarified the truth about Falun Gong. She refused to quit the CCP the first time I advised her to and returned the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party booklet without even reading it. But I didn't give up, and continued to clarify the truth to her. She finally agreed to quit after my persistent efforts. She even invited me to dine with her. I was very happy that another life was saved.
I cultivate in Dafa and do the things required by Dafa. I still have many attachments yet to be removed. I also have made mistakes on my cultivation path, but merciful and esteemed Master has greatly helped me improve, mentally and physically. I look like a new person, healthy and glowing. People are surprised when they see me. To repay Master's immense grace, I will do the three things well, save more people, and fulfill my prehistoric vow. Thank you, Master!
The above are my own understandings on my cultivation path. Please kindly point out anything that is inappropriate.