Letting Go of Hatred and Becoming Tolerant

(Minghui.org) I became a Falun Dafa practitioner in 1997. My lifestyle changed when I attained Falun Dafa from having the life of a University student to that of a worker and mother. Over the years I experienced many tribulations and with Teacher's guidance I passed the tests. I thank Teacher from deep within my heart.

I am an only child and lived with my mother after my parents divorced. In 2010, my mother died and given my sentimentality towards my mother I became deeply distressed. My mother was my only support and shelter.

Also, I wasn't diligent in my Fa study, so my understanding of the Fa remained very shallow. Therefore, I couldn't face this tribulation and missed the opportunity to pass a test.

My misery was aggravated by my relatives taking everything my mother owned, from the smallest to the larges belongings, including the house and the land. I was faced with the greed of others and was miserable.

My husband and I lived with his parents. My heart was full of hatred and grudges. I believed that my mother had suffered throughout her life because of the people around us. I didn't remember that I was a practitioner. My human nature had taken over. I hated these people, fought with my husband, swore at my parents-in-law, and even cursed at my father and aunts.

This went on for six months. One day I could not breathe, and felt excruciating pain in my chest. My husband took me to a hospital and the doctor couldn't find anything wrong. The pain continued, and I had to sit up while I slept. I still did not enlighten to anything.

Waking up from a Deep Slumber

When I went back to my former home, I met up with a practitioner. We studied the Fa diligently. During that time I heard Teacher's words in my mind,

“You should all be thinking this way, with your first thought being to scrutinize yourself to try to find the problem. Whoever is not like this is not in fact a true cultivator of Dafa.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)

I suddenly realized that I had not truly cultivated because I never looked within. When conflicts arose, I blamed others, I used the Fa principles to criticize others. I always thought I was better than others and never examined myself based on the Fa. That's why my life was so stressful.

Teacher never gave up on me. He hinted repeatedly and I finally woke up from a deep slumber. That is the time I thought, “I want to be a true cultivator.”

I began to look within and found many human notions. I worked on eliminating them. One day, I experienced waves of heat moving through my body. I felt my chest pain expanding outward like tree rings, and then they gradually stopped. That time, I truly felt Teacher's magnificence.

Understanding the Fa after Diligent Fa Study

With the help of fellow practitioners and Fa study, I enlightened to many Fa truths. After reading Teacher's article “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” I understood that Dafa disciples are magnificent because they want to help sentient beings. We cleanse ourselves with righteous Fa principles. This is true cultivation, this is the mighty virtue of a righteous enlightened Dafa practitioner. Now, I understood how serious cultivation is and how hard saving sentient beings is. A practitioner can only save people, how could I hate people?

Teacher scooped us out of hell and removed much of our karma. Then, he patiently guided us, step by step, just like a parent teaching a child to walk. He made us who we are today. He gave us everything we needed to change from a practitioner to a divine being and everything we needed for being a divine being.

I cried when I thought how much Teacher had to suffer to save sentient beings. Teacher's suffering, because of his wish to save sentient beings, is beyond words and description. The words “Immense Buddha Grace” can barely describe Teacher's magnificence. I suddenly felt that I was so insignificant, ignorant, and incompetent.

Teacher came down numerous levels to come to the lowest and dirtiest place in the universe to save sentient beings. He was humiliated, bullied, and defamed. Facing such sentient beings, Teacher still wanted to save them and bring them to higher levels. From this I came to understand that the bigger my heart, the more sentient beings I could save, and that determined where my level was.

I went to see those who hurt my mother and me. No matter what, I found where I did wrong to them and apologized to them one by one. This helped me recognize where I could improve. I finally had put Falun Dafa in the first place and so opened their hearts. They no longer thought ill of Falun Dafa after seeing the changes in me.

My body was as light as a feather. I experienced the compassionate state of a practitioner once he or she learns to be tolerant. I was completely transformed. Now some of my relatives who understand the facts about the persecution of Falun Dafa help me clarify the truth about Falun Dafa.

Fellow practitioners, Falun Dafa is invincible and all-powerful. The more I practice, the more I feel that I'm still far from what Teacher wants me to be. I must work very hard to catch up, look within and assimilate to the Fa. Only when I let go of myself and save more beings will I be worthy of Teacher's salvation and the title of a Falun Dafa practitioner.