(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I’ve been practicing Dafa for over four years. With Master’s merciful protection, I have come this far on my cultivation path. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my experiences with you.
The first two years after I obtained the Fa, I slacked off in doing the three things well. I had to commute a long distance every day from my Santa Cruz home to my office in South Bay. As a project manager at a big company, I had a demanding job. On top of that, I was also the primary caregiver of my two young children. Due to the nature of his job, my husband barely spent any time at home. To make matters worse, he had misunderstandings about Falun Dafa. The heavy burdens of work and family left me with little time of my own. I thus used this as my excuse for not participating in group activities and Dafa-related projects, until one day I was awakened to the fact that, despite my personal challenges, the divine beings would not lower the cultivation standards just for me. Self-cultivation must be integrated with Fa-rectification. No matter how hard, I must try my best to step forward and participate. Since I had obtained the Fa and this was my path to cultivate, Master must have a way for me to cultivate. Whether I could break through or not depended solely on myself.
Dafa has mighty power and provides me with wisdom and courage. With much stronger righteous thoughts, my heart was lifted from the stress of my inability to advance in cultivation, which had been hindered by my own doubts and fears. Attending the weekend group activities or Dafa-related projects used to be the most difficult thing for me. This was mainly because my husband, who was in the real estate industry, had to work every Saturday, leaving me to care for our kids. Not to mention that he didn’t support my involvement in Dafa-related activities. Oftentimes I would first waste a lot of energy figuring out his weekly schedule and then wait for the right moment to bring up my request. I was so used to viewing things using my own notions that I constantly worried about almost everything—that my husband would be upset or the children would start complaining if I went out regularly on weekends. I later realized that the fewer concerns I had, the more likely the interference would vanish and the more I was able to do what I needed to do.
When I first became a practitioner, I initially had a problem with the local Dafa Association suddenly calling for urgent gatherings. I strongly felt that this type of last-minute communication had a lot of Chinese characteristics, did not conform to Western customs and ways of doing things, and had almost zero consideration for the difficulty of those who had jobs and families. I later understood that this wasn’t the case. When I was able to let go of my attachments and notions, Master always helped me find the balance between work, family, and Fa-rectification participation.
One time, the local Dafa Association urged every practitioner to gather in front of the Chinese consulate to protest its interference with the Shen Yun performance. I happened to have a phone conference scheduled with my boss in Chicago and another director during the first half of the protest. After consideration, I decided to leave right away from my South Bay office to the consulate. I could park my car, take the conference call, and then join the second half of the protest. Unfortunately the heavy traffic that day shattered my wishful thinking. It was almost tme for the meeting, yet I was still circling around looking for a parking spot. How was I supposed to explain this to my boss? I gathered my thoughts and asked myself why I cared so much about the two executives’ reactions if I was running late. Was it because I viewed job promotions and raises as more important than Fa-rectification? The answer to the question instantly relieved me. Then, something unbelievable happened—I received a notice that the meeting was cancelled just minutes before its planned start time.
When I learned how to make time to participate in truth-clarification projects, I chose Shen Yun. This was because I felt that I could use my abilities in the ordinary people’s corporate world. Moreover, the flexibility of how, what, and when to promote Shen Yun fit into my busy schedule. Since I was tied up with kids and household duties on weekends, I tried to find chunks of time Monday through Friday to make phone calls or sell tickets at malls. I often went to a mall not far from my office for a couple of hours every other day. Selling tickets at malls was tough, and to a great extent, it exposed and eliminated my ego.
In order to better communicate with customers the characteristics of Shen Yun, I began to collect all sorts of Shen Yun talking points, print them out, and take them to the mall. I took every opportunity to memorize and apply them. If I couldn’t go to the mall on certain days, I’d find pieces of time here and there to make phone calls. Back then we didn’t have the concept of presenting Shen Yun to service clubs, such as the Rotary or Kiwanis. Our main community focus was to send Shen Yun newsletters to companies. I received tremendous help from the project coordinator.
Last year our club team effort was considered a success in promoting Shen Yun. Looking back at my cultivation journey as the team coordinator, my heart was full of emotion. In Zhuan Falun, Master commented on the different tooth-pulling techniques between Western and ancient Chinese medicine: “We should look not only at the tools’ appearance, but also at their effectiveness.” Yet I was so used to “the tools’ appearance.” I felt uncomfortable when no business cards were made available for my club visits. I was bothered whether the organization on the card had its dedicated email address or a self-explanatory website. I complained when the teamwork lacked end-to-end, specialized support.
During the peak time of our presentations to service clubs, we needed more presenters. Some suggested that I should step in to help out. The suggestion greatly upset me: I was the one visiting clubs. I was the one coordinating the efforts. I was the one providing back-end support. And now you also want me to present? What would the clubs think if they saw me praising my own pots? Our main method of contacting clubs was visiting their websites and making contacts through them. In order to cover the entire Bay Area, it sometimes it took us three or four hours to visit just one club. Afterward, we had to follow up until a presentation date was confirmed. Then I shifted to resource assignment. When I couldn’t find practitioners committed to some scheduled presentations, I felt bitter and resentful that the opportunities we worked so hard to get were not cherished. Later on, someone made a comment that it must be our team’s fault when no direct sales were made after so many presentations. It outraged me so much that I couldn’t even concentrate on sending forth righteous thoughts. Just as Master said,
“Many Dafa disciples speak about 'helping Master rectify the Fa,' or 'whatever Master wants, that’s what we will do.' And it is said with conviction. But as soon as Master actually has you go and do something that doesn’t agree with your thinking, or when things are a bit challenging, you completely lose track of that righteous thought about helping Master. With resentment mixed into your thinking, the thoughts that you emit get in the way.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa”)
I was no longer afraid of praising my own pots.
I realized later on that if I only clung to the ordinary people’s operating methodology and way of thinking, but made no effort to let go my human notions and attachments, I’d never be truly able to assist Master in rectifying the Fa. Little by little, the things that I used to view as problems were no longer issues. When I was asked for a business card, I’d explain that I was a volunteer with the organization so I didn’t have formal business cards. However, I could leave or email my contact to them if I had theirs. When the people at clubs thought that I was self-promoting my own talk, I’d clarify whether or not I’d have the honor of being the guest speaker based on my schedule.
I also found that if I tried to put myself in others’ shoes, it became relatively easy to give up my ego and attachment to self and to harmonize with the group. To place emphasize and focus on Shen Yun, our new way of presenting the show this year required all speakers to restructure their talks based on a presentation made by New York practitioners. Considering everyone’s busy schedule, I knew it could be a very demanding task, so I decided to give it a try. After I gave the new talk at one Rotary Club and got some positive feedback, I knew I could successfully convince my speaker team.
One time I decided to visit a Kiwanis Club. To my surprise, the meeting location was at the same place where a local Rotary Club met. We visited this Rotary Club during our initial club team efforts. Due to lack of experience, the result of our visit was very negative, to a point that it was hard to repair the trust and relationship. I got into the car and slowly took off. It was a long drive to the club and my fear surfaced. A couple of times I wanted to turn around and go back. Finally I forced myself to recite Master’s words:
“You are cultivators. I’m not talking about your past, what you once were, or what you display on the surface. I am talking about your core and the meaning of your life, the responsibility you shoulder, and your historic mission. Only thus are you truly a Dafa disciple.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple”)
Over and over I repeated these words and soon my tears streamed down: “Since being a Dafa disciple is the core and meaning of my life, what excuses do I have not to relinquish my own notions and help Master in saving sentient beings?” The result was that I not only had a successful visit, but also established a good relationship with the club president.
One’s attachments are removed layer by layer through one’s cultivation practice. Just when I thought I was able to put others before myself, my hidden ego swelled again when I was swamped and had little or no time to study the Fa and do the exercises. Luckily I had the opportunity to meet with my team members periodically to share our experiences. It allowed me to wake up to see the gap between my own cultivation state and that of others.
One time a fellow practitioner sent me an email, asking me to lead a team to promote Shen Yun in Santa Cruz County. Including myself, only two practitioners lived in the county. Not only would I have to engage with new clubs, coordinate the club work, and support the greater group platform, but I also helped out at our weekend promotion booths whenever I could. There was so much on my plate that I felt I could take on no more. This practitioner must be fully aware of how busy I was. How could she even suggest I take on additional work? I became emotional and asked her for a face-to-face discussion.
When we met, I began by telling her that I drove 160 miles the past weekend in order to meet someone for presentation opportunities. I did this on purpose to remind her how busy I was. She responded with an understanding smile. She then told me about her own excursion that same weekend: she drove seven hours round trip and visited a remote but affluent town on the central coast. No one there had heard about Shen Yun, but everyone she spoke to longed to see it. One store owner volunteered to brainstorm on local promotion ideas. She kept asking whether there would be any future possibility for Shen Yun to come to their town so that everyone could have the privilege of watching it. Her story made me speechless. Compared with the residents of that town, I considered myself very fortunate. Being a Dafa disciple, shouldn’t I cherish what I had and try all my best to bring Shen Yun to every sentient being with the predestined relationship? I felt very ashamed of myself.
Just like in the early days when Master used to spend the majority of His time teaching the Fa but very little on the exercises, the fellow practitioner and I focused a lot on sharing our cultivation experiences instead of on the actual promotion plan. I fully understood and well appreciated her intent. If we wanted to make Shen Yun a success in our area, to truly assist Master in rectifying the Fa, and to save all the beings that should be saved, we must cultivate our hearts to temper ourselves both physically and mentally. The meeting we had that day impacted me profoundly. I was suddenly awakened to the fundamental attachment that had been embedded but hidden deep in my heart for the past two years: I was using the Shen Yun project to prove myself.
Initially when I was asked by the Bay Area main coordinator of the Shen Yun project to build a team, I blurted out a couple of names. The coordinator laughed. She said that those were the practitioners she expected to lead their own teams in order to get more local practitioners involved. If I recruited all of them, there would only be an all-star team. She recommended some other practitioners to me, but I couldn’t help thinking, “They don’t speak fluent English. They don’t seem to have much experience in dealing with mainstream people either. Would they be able to do it? They could end up hampering me.” It was this selfish thought that allowed me to treat Shen Yun as an ordinary people’s project, seeking so-called performance results. Two years had passed, and it wasn’t until now that I realized this dangerous attachment. It prevented me from truly caring about my fellow practitioners who wanted to join the project team but needed help and encouragement. This impersonal attitude made it impossible to create a positive environment to motivate more fellow practitioners to join the Shen Yun project, to truly have breakthroughs in our local Shen Yun promotions, and to cherish the great cultivation opportunity Master had given us out of His immense compassion.
I was suddenly enlightened by this understanding. I started contacting other practitioners, encouraging them to step forward to put their skills or righteous thoughts or time to good use for the Shen Yun project. The principle of “the appearance stems from the mind” began to take effect. I then wanted to tell all the practitioners who were actively working on or considering working on Shen Yun projects: “Let us be sure of ourselves. No matter how difficult or challenging things are, we are cultivators on the divine path. With righteous thoughts and a pure heart of saving sentient beings, we must and shall be able to overcome all the obstacles, and do what Master wants us to do.”
I had opportunities to meet many different people through the Shen Yun project. Whether it was selling tickets at our promotion booths, giving talks at clubs, or introducing Shen Yun to the people in my daily life, I viewed each as a great truth-clarification opportunity. One time I decided to have a facial treatment at someone’s spa whom I'd met at an event. I intended to promote Shen Yun, but she had already seen it. However she told me she’d been researching online about Falun Dafa ever since, but in vain. I told her that I myself practiced Falun Dafa. I talked about the principle of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, the world-wide introduction of Dafa, my personal cultivation experiences, and the CCP persecution. She listened attentively. After a moment of silence, she asked me whether I had time to meet her for coffee. A few weeks later, she started reading Zhuan Falun.
Another time I attended a county fair where I met one lady who had also seen Shen Yun. Unlike the first one, she had some reservations. I asked her whether she knew about the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) persecution of Falun Gong, she said she knew about it. I then asked whether she’d heard of organ harvesting. Her face started to show remorse. I continued, “Do you know that these Shen Yun artists are actually carrying out a noble mission? Through artistic forms, they expose the evil nature of the CCP in order to let the rest of the world know the truth; to restore our values, and to allow all of us to have a brighter future. Have you ever thought of the sacrifice they have to make? Many of them are first-generation immigrants. Because of their belief, they may never be able to go back to the country where they were born and raised. In addition, they are running the risk of implicating their families that still remain in China. In the face of such brutal persecution, do you still think these artists went overboard to expose the truth using such a beautiful artistic form?” She was shocked. Before she left, she made a comment, “It would be wonderful if you could tell everyone what you just told me through forums or community meetings.” It was my turn to be caught off-guard. Did Master just use her mouth to remind me that we need to promote Shen Yun and clarify the truth more deeply and widely in the communities?
I was fortunate to encounter Shen Yun halfway through my four-year cultivation. I cannot express how much I’ve gained from working on the Shen Yun project. All I can do is to strive forward in the midst of Fa-rectification so as to fulfill my duties with no regrets.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Article presented at the 2012 San Francisco Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference)
