Do Not Be Ruined by the Attachment of Lust
(Minghui.org) I felt quite heavy-hearted after a dream, and after giving it some thought, I decided to share this experience. First, this was a warning for me; second, it serves as a reminder to other young practitioners like myself.
The “dream” appeared very realistic; I “watched” as a third party (I was asleep at the time). The event in the dream was like this: A male fellow practitioner came to visit me carrying heavy luggage; he'd purchased numerous gifts and snacks for me. We were talking in the family room. It was getting dark, so I asked him to leave. He stood up, walked closer to me, and seemed to want to say something. I backed up and refused to listen. Tears ran down his face, and he said: “I came to visit you from so far away, and you want me to leave so soon?” My heart softened when I saw his tears. He walked closer. My mind sobered immediately: “You have to leave now, immediately.” He sadly picked up his luggage and walked out the door. He was still watching me as he walked down the stairs, and I watched him as well. I then awakened from my dream.
My mood was complicated when I woke up; I sensed the seriousness of the problem. This was the second time that this fellow practitioner had entered into my dreams. I had to look within. Did this happen because my words and deeds were not on the Fa when I talked to him? Searching deeper, I realized that he resembled a certain male that I looked up to, and even deeper, I felt that I'd developed feelings in my heart towards him. All and all, I'd developed the attachment of lust.
Every fellow practitioner knows how much damage the attachment of lust can do, and particularly for young practitioners, are we affected more severely by this at times?
Master taught us:
“Dafa disciples: I said long ago that sexual attraction and desire are a fatal roadblock that a cultivator absolutely must overcome. [Those people are] driven by human feelings and emotions way too much.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference”)
In my case, I always pursued so-called happiness and generated some fantasies – even though I know as a cultivator that one should learn to control oneself, but those thoughts still surfaced. When I don't stop it in time, these thoughts get carried away more and more, and at those times, even though I know it is an attachment, I still don't want to let it go and feel pretty happy. When one doesn't want to control it, the fantasy is like a horse running wild; this affected my Fa study and sending of righteous thoughts.
Whenever we're affected by sentimentality, we must rectify ourselves within the Fa – aren't we cultivators? Aren't we supposed to go beyond sentimentality? Why am I still affected deeply by it? Frankly, it comes from one's pursuit – one wants it, and feels that it is happiness.
Master told us:
“Sentimentality is something of everyday people, and everyday people just live for it.” (from Zhuan Falun, Lecture Six)
We are submerged in the substances of sentimentality since birth, so if we can't eliminate sentimentality, aren't we still human? Additionally, I discovered that I longed for attention, caring and loving feelings, and I felt that it was wonderful and wanted to have it. For example, when I saw a man wrapping a scarf on a lady gently and attentively, many deep, emotional feelings surfaced, including envy, grievances, regrets and even a sense of unfairness. I felt that I was a pretty good and deserving person, so why didn't I have someone that I was satisfied with, someone who could take tender care of me? This attachment was never eliminated, and accumulated after some time; the substances in other dimensions were quite solid, and therefore created tribulations for me.
I remembered how a fellow practitioner once described fantasies and lustful thoughts as feces in another dimension. This is absolutely true. I had similar dreams as well, using a shovel in an attempt to clean them out, one pile after another. I felt disgusted and asked myself: “After so many rounds of this tribulation, why do I still hold onto so-called happiness? These are all illusory, foaming and filthy things in the eyes of divine beings. Besides generating thought karma, intensifying one's attachment and affecting one's cultivation, what good can this bring, so why do I still pursue it?”
“Actually, cultivation itself is not hard; to abandon the ordinary human thinking and attachments is what’s hardest.” (from “Teaching the Fa at the Founding Ceremony of the Singaporean Falun Dafa Association”)
I want to remind practitioners that when you feel happy while talking to someone, feel that you get along great, you pay more attention to him or her, want to know information concerning him or her and care about what they're doing; when you like to sit next to him or her during group Fa study – you'd better be aware, as these are danger signals. All these behaviors mean that you're already affected by sentimentality; your attachment to lust has already surfaced and is exposed.
Lust and desire are like candy-covered poison; if you indulge your lust and fantasies, you will be trapped in it and feel “happy” and how “sweet” it is. Even though you know it's an attachment and reluctantly let go, you will become more deeply trapped in it and end up ruined. We have already arrived at the final point of our cultivation journey; numerous divine beings of the universe are watching, as well as the old forces. If your loophole was seized upon by the old forces, and you still haven't awakened to it, they will ceaselessly enlarge your attachment – you can imagine the result. You won't be alright – even if you don't take action, since matter and thoughts are both substances, so this becomes a huge obstacle on your cultivation path, causing significant tribulations in the future.
I felt that my level was dropping several days before I wrote this sharing article, since I'm sensitive and these feeling are real; whether or not you feel these things, cultivation is serious. The standard is also high, and you absolutely will drop in level because you've developed lust. Since I didn't completely eliminate lust, it accumulated for some time and taught me a big lesson; I deeply regret this.
Master was very serious whenever he expounded the Fa on the issues of lust and desire. We must rectify every thought, and should absolutely not be affected by it anymore! If you can't eliminate it now, you will forever regret and be full of remorse someday. As you know, you will not reach consummation if you can't eliminate your lust – do not be ruined by it!
I will end with Master's Fa:
“I have talked before about the old forces' interference. Have you thought about the following? [Sexual desire] is one of the factors [they use] to hold you back! What do the old forces and the old cosmos see as the gravest thing? Lust, [in the form of] sexual activity outside of marriage. That's what they see as the most serious of things. In the past, once someone violated the precept on that, he would be thrown out of the temple, and his cultivation would be utterly finished. So how do gods look at this now? Do you know what they have said in the prophecies that they left behind? They prophesied that all of the Dafa disciples who would be left in the end would be those who had maintained their purity along these lines. In other words, these things are extremely serious to them. So the old forces and all of the gods in that cosmos will not defend anyone who violates the prohibition on this, anyone who doesn't do well in this regard; in fact they will push you downwards.” (from “Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles”)