(Clearwisdom.net) I am a new Falun Dafa practitioner who started practicing Falun Gong in 2008. I regret sincerely that I obtained the Fa so late in life. In the beginning I cultivated very diligently. I stopped working and doing my household chores in order to save time to cultivate. At that time I thought that I understood the Fa's principles very clearly and I thought highly of my cultivation state.
There were many veteran fellow practitioners around me. I noticed that many of them, especially the elderly ones, were not clear about the Fa's principles and often showed their human notions. Actually, the good side of their cultivation had disappeared and was not visible to me. When I compared myself to them, I thought that I had cultivated very well and so fast, due to my good inborn quality. Therefore, I thought that I was something special. Since childhood, I had the notion that I was better than the average person. I was afraid that, since I obtained the Fa so late in life, I might not be a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. I worked extra hard to rectify the Fa because I wanted to be a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. I thought that the more I did, the better and the more mighty virtue I would get. I did that not for the sake of a cultivator's responsibility but rather for everyday people's greed and selfishness.
Due to my attachment, a demon sneaked in and made me fall down and go in the wrong direction. It took a long time for to get up again and then I became negative. I thought that I used to cultivate very well, but now I was so bad compared to before. One thought always occupied my mind: If I had not fallen down, I could have cultivated very high and that would have been very good! Therefore, all kinds of negative thoughts came forth, which made me attached to the past and also made me lag behind in my cultivation.
Master has already said: "As long as you practice it to the end, you will be able to reach Consummation." (“Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference”)
I read this and I started to feel fortunate to have picked up this treasure dropped from heaven. Once again I lagged behind in my cultivation and just wholeheartedly waited for completion. The old forces saw this and caused me to fall down again.
Later I studied Master's new article and I started to understand. Master said: "The only path that lies before you, the disciples of Dafa, is one of real cultivation. There is no other path." (“What is a Dafa Disciple”) But whenever I wanted to cultivate diligently, the bad experience of falling down would enter my mind and this made me feel regretful and ashamed. Those thoughts kept coming back again and again.
In looking inside, I found that I had all kinds of feelings: sometimes I was satisfied with myself, sometimes I thought negatively and that I was finished. I was attached to my past and to gaining mighty virtue during cultivation. I thought that I was higher than others, which was possibly caused by jealousy. I could not tolerate my having committed these wrongdoings and all the other human feelings which came from my selfishness and were caused by "improper intention."
Actually, practitioners are all human beings, so how could we not make mistakes? If practitioners were that pure, then we would already be enlightened beings. So why would we need to cultivate? Right now the universe is being rectified by the Fa, the cosmos is under re-construction, and sentient beings are all waiting to be saved. However, I was attached to my personal cultivation level, my own mighty virtue—big or small, to whether or not I could become a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, and to whether or not I could achieve completion. What a big human attachment that was! Frankly, all those human attachments came from selfishness. I did not think clearly about cultivating diligently and solidly, and I also did not think about helping Master save sentient beings and a practitioner's responsibility to help rectify the Fa.
I wrote this article to remind my fellow practitioners to learn from my experience. One should not be attached to one's own cultivation level and mighty virtue. One should not spend time concentrating on everyday people's things, and, furthermore, one should not be attached to what you can get through cultivation.
Master said: "One should have the intention of practicing cultivation without the intention of attaining Gong." (“Lecture in Sydney”)
The person who would achieve completion should not think about completion. We shoulder a historic mission, and all of the universe's sentient beings are waiting for us to save them.
Category: Improving Oneself
