(Clearwisdom.net) I am a veteran practitioner, and I started practicing Falun Gong in 1994. On my cultivation path, I've had the lesson of stumbling, getting up, and then devoting myself to validating the Fa. I wrote down these experiences to report to Master and to share with fellow practitioners
Ten Years of Cultivation with Hardship
I started clarifying the truth and exposing the evil through legal channels in 2000 when I sought help from lawyers to rescue my husband (a fellow practitioner) from illegal detention. I had visited the management of our working units, the residents' committee, the local police station, the local 610 Office, and so on many times to explain the facts about Falun Gong. I also went to the local offices of the provincial and city departments to deliver truth-clarification materials and/or mailed letters to them explaining the facts. Since my husband was imprisoned in a forced labor camp, I went to the labor camp monthly on the visitation days to explain the facts face-to-face to the camp personnel. I kept in mind Master's teaching that the evil are afraid of being exposed for committing their evil acts of persecution. I clarified the truth to people from all walks of life openly and in an aboveboard manner. Not only did Chinese Communist Party (CCP) personnel not harass me, but there were also very few instances of persecution in the area I lived in. Rescuing practitioners using legal channels proceeded smoothly until 2009.
During the period of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, CCP officials arrested more than 70 local practitioners in one week. Several of the practitioners in our area exchanged thoughts, and we all understood that the persecution must be stopped. I started working on rescuing a practitioner couple and coordinated the local group effort to widely explain the facts about Falun Gong to the personnel in the judicial and public security organs and to the populace.
We first clarified the truth to the couple's family members, including their parents, brothers, and sisters, and encouraged them to join the effort to stop the persecution. They gave power of attorney to the lawyer to represent them in the rescue effort. They also encouraged the lawyer to go to the Procuratorate to file charges against the government personnel for illegal detention of a citizen and to file the case for investigation. We coordinated with practitioners to go with the family members to the office every day to demand their release, and to go to the detention center to visit the practitioners; during this process we encouraged each other. The detained practitioners were in very good states; they had been on hunger strikes to protest and had refused to cooperate with the police. At the same time they were clarifying the truth to those in the detention center. I coordinated the practitioners nearby to send truth clarification letters, make phone calls, send righteous thoughts, and promptly publicize the information about the personnel participating in the persecution and the progress of the rescue effort. This practitioner couple was detained for 15 days, and then they were sent to a brainwashing center for three more days. They were then released unconditionally. This series of actions frightened the evil in the local area, and it brought out more practitioners to join the rescue efforts. Most of the arrested practitioners were released one after another.
My Attachment to Self-Worth Was Taken Advantage of by the Evil
For the previous 10 years, I had not personally experienced significant difficulties except for a few occasional “troubles”, which were surprising but not dangerous, and my attachment to self-worth quietly expanded. After the Olympic Games, I relaxed more and more in regards to reading the Fa and doing the exercises. I failed to take practitioners' advice. I could not absorb the Fa when I read it, and could not calm my mind to read the Fa. I thought that I had good inborn quality and my righteous thoughts were strong. I kept thinking that after the busy period I would spend time reading the Fa well and adjust myself. However, the old forces took advantage of my loopholes; they not only made me very busy, but also gave me no chance to slow down, even if I wanted to. I knew that I needed to adjust myself, but I could not slow down to make the adjustment. One time when I was tired and in my worst condition, I was taken away from my workplace by the police.
When the police appeared at the office entrance, I made two phone calls in a hurry to inform my family and my work unit management. My mind was locked on the thought of not implicating other practitioners or ordinary people; I wanted to prevent further losses. I was not able to send powerful righteous thoughts to completely reject the persecution against me.
I clarified the truth to the police. No police units wanted to take my case. They detained me in the police department, then in the detention center, and then in the brainwashing center. Because I was not able to look inside for the reason to correct myself, I was sent to a forced labor camp 20 days later.
Taking a Wrong Turn After Giving in While Under Pressure
After I arrived at the forced labor camp, the provincial 610 Office gathered a dozen collaborators and police officers. They isolated me and pressured me with brainwashing sessions. Living through the 40+ day-long high-pressured life of terror and suffering various harassment, including verbal abuse, being forced to stand all day and night, deprived of restroom usage, sitting for a long time in a cross-legged position, and so on, I was not able to send powerful righteous thoughts to stop the evil persecution. I became more and more discouraged. Ordinary human thoughts came and went, and I thought that I might not be able to pass the tribulation. I was not able to send powerful righteous thought to totally reject the old forces' arrangement.
At that time I knew that I was a Dafa practitioner and that the evil was not qualified to test Dafa practitioners. However, what I understood was superficial—I was not able to believe in Master and Dafa from the bottom of my heart. Since I had been very self-centered prior to my being detained, my condition was not good and my righteous thoughts were not strong, and I had difficulty passing the tribulation.
No matter what I did, I was not able to maintain my righteous thoughts. I gave in against my will and wrote the so-called “four statements” for temporary relief of the difficult situation. Afterward I adjusted myself for a month and then wrote two solemn declarations. I was again locked into a small confinement cell twice for a total of 100 days. This was a stern lesson that was due to my not being able to read the Fa well and not cultivating myself well.
I Passed Through the Darkness with Firm Belief in Dafa
In the evil den, I started refusing the evil's requests and demanded my right to make phone calls and to meet with my family. I coordinated with practitioners on the outside and filed charges against the labor camp and the guards for their deprivation of my right to meet with an attorney. Even though I was isolated from others, because the guards were afraid of me suing them, they did not monitor me strictly, and my environment became relatively relaxed. The non-practitioner inmates also learned some of the truth and they helped with transmitting information among practitioners.
The most difficult part of that period was that I had symptoms of illness karma. The criminal inmates were scared for me, and they cried. The guards had to call the doctor in. I held the thought that no matter how poor my cultivation was, I firmly believe in Master and Dafa, and I will follow Master all the way. I made my best effort to stay clear-minded. I kept reciting the Fa from memory and sent righteous thoughts as long as I was awake. I also used the symptoms of illness karma as an excuse to resist doing the forced labor and to refuse to watch videos of the CCP propaganda. I wrote one appeal letter almost every month to explain the truth to the police. Finally I went home.
Starting Over Again from the Beginning: Studying the Fa and Cultivating the Mind
After I got home, I had to face many problems. I told myself that I must seize the time to study the Fa and adjust myself. Local practitioners had spent a lot of effort to rescue me, and I should not take more energy from them. No matter what a practitioner's attitude was towards me, it was for my benefit. No matter how bad I felt, I must insist on looking inside for the reason.
I made up my mind to cultivate myself as if I were just beginning. I took out all of Master's scriptures and started reading the Fa in the morning and in the evening every day. In the afternoon, I recounted the persecution I had experienced in the labor camp and wrote letters about the facts about Falun Gong. I persistently sent righteous thoughts for one hour four times a day at the set times for sending forth righteous thoughts, and I persistently joined the countrywide group practice at the scheduled time.
As I worked on the appeal letter to the different government departments, some practitioners asked me to revise the letter more than a dozen times. I was sometimes impatient in the process, but I reminded myself to look inside right away, to correct my mentality, and to discard my attachment of not being willing to accept others' criticism. In the end, I got rid of my resentment, and all I wanted was to tell people the facts about Falun Gong. All I had was the compassion to save lives. About two months after I got home, I started mailing the appeal letters, for which I had collected 400 addresses of related personnel. Fellow practitioners commented positively on the letter, and they helped me to mail the letter. Some practitioners even distributed the letter to the government departments directly. They also made fliers from the letter and published it on the Minghui website
At the same time I also made phone calls to the government departments to report the torture of Falun Gong practitioners in the labor camp. I visited the Procuratorate, the judicial department, the bureau of reeducation through labor, the provincial politics and law committee, and so on to submit reports. During this process, my physical condition recovered quickly, and my righteous thoughts got stronger; and I did not encounter any interference. Gradually some practitioners started asking me to join some projects in the local area. A friend helped me get a job as vice-president of a foreign-invested enterprise, and I started having a stable income. My conditions in all aspects basically recovered to the level before I was persecuted.
Coordinating Across Regions and Validating Dafa with Strong Righteous Thoughts
Master saw my firm determination to cultivate and made arrangements to help me improve. I was arranged to join in a project to rescue practitioners in other regions. This project involved the coordination of practitioners in three regions. With practitioners' trust, I took on some coordination work and improved the conditions for the local practitioners to be able to clarify the truth to the legal community and people in other fields.
As my righteous thoughts became stronger, I was doing more work. However, the thought of “I am capable” also started to appear in my mind. When met with different opinions from others, I did not feel balanced in my mind; I tried to defend myself and my competitive mentality started appearing. My reaction was to read the Fa well and discard those attachments through my cultivation.
These lessons made me realize that we should not neglect our individual cultivation using the excuse of being busy doing Dafa work. We should persistently read the Fa with a peaceful mind, send righteous thoughts and cultivate ourselves well. We should also examine our every thought carefully in order to save more lives.
